Haters have a lot to say and it often sounds like:
“Get an actual job!”
“Stop wasting your time!”
“You’ll never have a career!”
These are words frequently heard by those who dare to dream. Artists, entrepreneurs, and freelancers are among the most frequently targeted. It happens to all of us at some point in our life.
Often, lives (and even careers) are dictated by others who wish to see us fail. The real magic is learning how to handle this negativity creatively and use it to our advantage. All of us can do this by practicing the following three thought patterns when dealing with haters: Recognize, Transform, and Learn. Or, as I like to call them, the three laws to use when dealing with haters to fuel your success.
A little background information about my passion
My parents divorced when I was seven. Eventually, my mother began a relationship with someone else. My newly gained stepfather was (and still is) very rough around the edges. Initially, he was extremely generous and treated us very well.
About five years later, I turned 12 and discovered my passion in life. I had decided to become a professional magician! Yes, I know that all children have their “phases” and often fantasize about what they want to be when they grow up. This, however, was no fantasy or phase. I was completely serious about it.
My mother has and always will be very supportive of my career path as a magician. My stepfather was less than thrilled, to say the least! It really didn’t bother him that much – until I talked about missing school and traveling to Jeff McBride’s Magic and Mystery School in Las Vegas to study with the best magicians in the world!
Magic became my obsession, and I was not afraid to discuss these things. With 100 percent predictability, my stepfather would visibly cringe and roll his eyes every time the word “magic” was mentioned. He labeled it as “Shaun’s little hobby“.
The Law of Haters #1: “Recognize that the more successful you become, the more haters you will have!”
As time progressed, my mother saw potential. She helped accelerate my success by driving me to local magic shows we booked in Raleigh, NC. She also taught me about running a business (lessons she acquired from her experience as a freelance photographer living in NYC).
Naturally, she was excited to see my career blossom and would mention my success to my stepfather. Instead of being met with happiness and encouragement, she consistently experienced discouragement, negativity, and sarcastic remarks. This often lead to an argument between them.
Even at family gatherings or social house parties, my stepfather would leave the room if any of the guests requested I perform a little magic! The father figure who I was supposed to look up to became more and more jealous and distancing. This led to constant tension. To compound everything further, I was finding out that many of the so-called “friends” I had were the same way…
Then it hit me! I realized that they all were jealous! It was only after I could recognize this truth that I could verify that I was on the right path towards success. The next step was dealing with haters the right way.
The Law of Haters #2: “We can transform anger and hatred from others into fuel for our own fire for our success”
Magic, at its core, is about accomplishing what was previously thought to be impossible. Instead of waving a magic wand when dealing with haters and making them disappear, why not transform their anger into passionate and productive energy? This can then be used to accomplish your goals and fuel your success!
It may be difficult to understand this concept at first, but it is very much like judo. You use your opponent’s force against him!
I’ve always accomplished 10 times more than I thought I was capable of after hearing harsh criticism from my haters. Their criticism makes me want to prove them wrong and, therefore, causes me to take massive action and catapult my success.
As an example, I actually had another magician tell me, “You have no career!” After hanging up the phone (and never speaking to this person again!), I immediately received a jolt of passionate energy that propelled me through the day.
I could not believe how quickly my mind worked and how many creative ways I could come up with to prove him wrong! Success is the best form of revenge when dealing with haters. There’s no better way to boost your confidence and pave the way for future success!
The next time you find yourself overwhelmed by “advice,” write just one goal that you can accomplish using that newly found passion and energy. Make it a goal that, upon completion, you know in your heart that it will be even more irrefutable proof of success in your trade.
Over time, your skin will thicken, and your entrepreneurial muscles will grow! By the way, my stepdad I mentioned earlier is just now realizing that what I do is actually a legitimate career (I have all of my proof). He is starting to respect my career path. It only took 13 years! Transformation at its finest, folks!
The Law of Haters #3: “Learn the good, leave the bad.”
One of the most important (but often difficult) things we can do to when dealing with haters to fuel our success is to learn from them! It is extremely important when in “learning mode” to have an open mind, no ego, and extreme emotional detachment.
Emotions can quickly get in the way. It is so easy to fall prey to depression and self-doubt when encountering hateful people. I believe that there is always something positive or beneficial that can be taken away from every situation – even the negative ones.
For instance, your haters may have certain attributes about their business that are better or more streamlined than yours. Learn from that. Their marketing might be better than yours. Learn from that and take it as a free lesson in business.
I can remember clearly back in the year 2009, discovering one of my biggest business breakthroughs because of studying someone who hated me! It is because of this one person that I could improve my marketing and web design skills.
Usually, one would have to spend tens of thousands of dollars in order to get this type of information. But I was able to get it all for FREE, simply by learning and studying what this person was doing right. In fact, every time people like this pop up on my radar, I automatically go into “learning mode” to uncover as many positive aspects about this person and his/her business as possible.
Haters will also tell you how NOT to act! Successful entrepreneurs and businesses always focus on building and maintaining long-term relationships. Hatred and jealousy are not good ways to build these types of relationships.
In every minute someone else spends on negative thoughts, you can improve your business and shape your career positively.
For optimum peace of mind, remember these three thought patterns in dealing with haters. So that the next time you experience the wrath of the “dreaded downer” or “cancer-causing cynic”, you can sidestep the typical emotional response and transform your “haters” into your “helpers!”
Who knows: perhaps they may respect you a little bit more as did some of mine… or maybe not! Either way, I wish you the best of luck applying this information to both your business and personal life!