Do you ever feel like your partner is not telling you what he’s really thinking or feeling? There may be some validity to your concern. Let’s face it: men in general, aren’t as expressive as most women. This means there’s a good chance they aren’t going to admit what’s on their minds.
As a result, they are likely to have “secrets” that they keep from their wives or girlfriends. Therein lies the problem – secrets can affect relationships, leading to major problems.
Why are there secrets men keep from women?
One of the most important keys to a healthy, happy relationship is good communication. How can you get your partner to open up and share his feelings with you? Allow him to speak freely and honestly, without blowing up or overreacting in the moment.
If your boyfriend or spouse feels comfortable enough to share his thoughts and feelings with you, there will be no need for him to keep things from you. Until that time happens, however, here are some secrets men keep that you might want to know:
4 Secrets Men Keep from Women That Can Affect a Relationship
1. “Yes, I was just looking at that woman.”
Most of the time, women in general tend to forget (ignore or even dismiss) that men are hardwired to notice women, especially ‘pretty young things’ (as Michel Jackson once sang).
While there’s plenty of research on the subject, males are in essence, biologically programmed to notice females – especially those deemed by their instinct to be ‘fertile’. It sounds strange, but true. However, preferences and beliefs on sexuality can differ by culture, age, and education.
But why would it affect you so much when your man seems to be ‘checking out other women’? It might make you feel as if you’re not good, sexy, or attractive enough.
This perception can negatively affect your relationship, causing trust or self-esteem issues. One thing women miss in this scenario however, is that a quick glance at the opposite sex usually means nothing. It’s an instinctive response, NOT a sign that your partner wants someone else.
This understanding will save a happy relationship from a mountain full of grief.
2. “No, you don’t look good in that outfit.”
Most – if not ALL – men have been asked “do I look good in this outfit?” multiple times by their female partners. While every man knows the ‘correct’ answer to the question better be YES, truthfully, your partner’s real answer may be: “umm, not really.”
Although all women prefer that their men tell the truth, most really don’t want to hear it. Why not? Well, because if they told their girlfriends or wives the truth, it will most likely lead to hurt feelings – and a night spent at the dog house.
3. “I’d like to try something new in the bedroom.”
This is a big one that happens more than you think.
Men are visual beings. So there’s a good chance that they have some pretty vivid fantasies going on in their minds – ones they would love to share with their ladies. But they won’t for fear of getting shut down at the mere suggestion of it.
Women on the other hand, could benefit from bringing the topic up to encourage their partners to share sexual fantasies and desires with them.
4. “I really wish you’d just be quiet sometimes!”
Even though you are quite capable of expressing yourself boldly (even loudly) at times, your partner may not be as assertive as you are in this area. A good number of men are just not keen on confrontational, loud, or aggressive forms of talking.
Most men can’t process what you’re saying to them if you ramble on for long periods of time. In fact, if you talk too long and too loud, there’s a good chance he might just tune you out. Ouch!
So when discussing something with your partner, try to get to the point as quickly as possible.
We all have things we’d prefer to keep hidden. When it comes to men, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, how long you’ve known each other, or even if you can finish each other’s sentences. There are probably things he hasn’t told you – yet.
There may even be things he’ll never tell you. But if you know the common secrets men keep, you can broach these topics and encourage him to share his thoughts. As a result, your partner will feel safe enough to open up and let you into his mind.
Eventually, you might be a happier, more fulfilled couple.