25 Orange Is The New Black Quotes About Life and Laughs

If you’ve never caught an episode of OITNB, you are surely missing out!

With relatable characters and hilarious dialogue, these Orange is the New Black quotes will remind you of just how awesome this show is!

You may love this show simply because it is hilarious.

You may relate to it on some level.

You may perceive it as a humorous, but cautionary tale.

Whatever the reason for watching – and perhaps without your even knowing it – these ladies occasionally drop some wit and wisdom on us that is not to be missed.

With that, I give you the best Orange is the New Black quotes from the show.

And once you’re done reading the quotes below, be sure to also check out list of the best American Horror Story quotes.

Check out our most popular quote article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily inspiration. 

Check out our entire collection of motivational quotes here. 

The Greatest Lines from Orange Is The New Black

1. “All problems are boring until they’re your own.” – Red

You will also enjoy our article on orange quotes.

2. “No offence, but, uh, men being in charge has never done me any good.” – Pennsatucky

3. “No. This year I’m loving someone who deserves me: Me.” – Suzanne

4. “Sometimes people just don’t want to play with you. And that’s OK!” – Suzanne

5.  “You don’t go Jessica Simpson when you’ve got Rihanna.” – Morello

6. “If you’re not building a future, it’s because you don’t believe there is a future.” –Vee

7. “Yeah I said stupid twice, only to emphasize how stupid that is!” – Pennsatucky

8. “It’s so disappointing being underestimated as you age.” – Irma

9. “The second you’re perceived as weak, you already are.” – Red

10. “I’m scared that I’m not myself and I’m scared that I am.” – Piper

11. “Before I met you the sun was like a yellow grape. But now, it looks like fire in the sky. Why? Because you light a fire inside me!” – Suzanne

12. On love: “It’s just chilling, you know? Kickin’ it with somebody, talking, making mad stupid jokes. And like, not even wanting to go to sleep ‘cuz then you might be without ’em for a moment and you don’t want that.” – Washington

13. On winning a mock job fair: “This isn’t a contest. You do your best because that’s what you’re supposed to do. Why is it so hard for you people to understand? You’re like babies! “Where’s my present?” “Pay attention to me!” “Give me things!” “Fix the heat!” “Build a gym!” I’m not your goddamn mommy. Grow up! In acknowledgment of your hard work and success, an award of $10 will be added to your commissary fund. Enjoy.” – Natalie

14. “I’m thankful for you girls who remind me every day that self-forgiveness is possible.” – Yoga Jones

15. On getting the full story: “I mean, she told me how she traveled after college. But she failed to mention the lesbian lover who ran an international drug smuggling ring. Imagine my surprise.” – Larry

16. “A lot of people are stupid and still live full, productive lives.” – Alaida

17. Blanca on Love: “Diablo says there are no perfect couples but each couple is perfect in its own way.”

Also, read these thought-provoking quotes from Black Mirror.

Orange Is The New Black Quotes and Funny One-Liners

18. On coming to reality: “I used to think you were a yellow dandelion, but you are all dried up with the puff blown off.” – Suzanne

19. “You rage, I eat. We all have our way.” – Cindy

20. “Leaving her like this, you’d think they’d have some humanness in them.” – Gloria

21. “I forgave him. And you know what? It ain’t about him. I forgave him for me.” – Doggett

22. “Look, I still got some time left here, but I’m getting out eventually, and it feels like it’s time to start focusing on that. Make sure I have a plan.”– Doggett

23. “Do you ever feel like a person without a country?”  – Doggett

24. On the voices in your head: “I know they’re not real, but it don’t mean they don’t have nothing to say.” – Lolly

25. “Everyone wants to go back in time sometimes. To go back to the moment when everything was still possible, before they made a wrong turn, so that they could go on the right path. But it’s not possible. All we can do is make the most of right now.” – Healy

If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of Lord of the Flies quotes that will remind you of why we need structure and rules.

Which of these Orange Is The New Black quotes is your favorite?

While mixed with hilarity, there is humanity.

I think that is what resonates with people so much about the show.

I will never forget the finale with the hole in the fence, and the simple joy to briefly go in the lake, that for a moment they had freedom and humanity.

If nothing else, learn from them to be grateful for what you have, and that you truly can survive anything…hopefully, with a sense of humor.