50 Hilarious Dazed and Confused Quotes from the Cult Classic

By Nia Simone McLeod | Published January 27, 2020

Searching for hilarious quotes from the 1993 comedy Dazed and Confused?

We have compiled 50 of the best Dazed and Confused quotes for your reading pleasure.

**What’s your favorite scene from Dazed and Confused?**

Dazed and Confused is a decade-defining teen comedy from the 1990s that features a star-studded ensemble cast.

Many of the young actors featured would later become Hollywood superstars including Matthew McConaughey, Ben Affleck, Milla Jovovich, and Parker Posey.

The movie has since garnered a cult following and has appeared on many critics’ “best of” lists.

Check out the quotes below to relive the hilarious adventures of these Texas teens.

And don’t forget to also check out these awkward Napoleon Dynamite quotes that are sure to make you laugh.

Check out our most popular quote article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily inspiration.

Check out our inspirational quotes category page for more inspirational life quotes.

Dazed and Confused quotes from Randall “Pink” Floyd (Jason London)

1. “If I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life — remind me to kill myself.” – Randall “Pink” Floyd

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2. “Who put the keg all the way out here in the woods?” – Randall “Pink” Floyd

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3. “I may play ball next fall, but I will never sign that. Now me and my loser friends are gonna head out to buy Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer.” – Randall “Pink” Floyd

You will also enjoy our article on Matthew McConaughey quotes.

4. “It was vicious. Had some pretty cool seniors though. Like, they’d beat the hell out of you and then get you drunk, that sort of thing.” – Randall “Pink” Floyd

5. “Yeah, there’s always one senior who has to be the bad-ass.” – Randall “Pink” Floyd

6. “Put some ice on it. After that, there’s nothing a few beers won’t take care of.” – Randall “Pink” Floyd

7. “Well you win some you lose some.” – Randall “Pink” Floyd

8. “I think they’re just worried that some of us are having too good a time.” – Randall “Pink” Floyd

9. “It’s best to get it all at once. After the first 10 licks your ass gets so numb you don’t feel it.” – Randall “Pink” Floyd

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Dazed and Confused quotes from David Wooderson (Matthew McConaughey)

10. “Alright, alright, alright!” – David Wooderson

11. “You gotta keep on livin’… L-I-V-I-N.” – David Wooderson

12. “It’d be a lot cooler if you did.” – David Wooderson

13. “The older you do get the more rules they’re gonna try to get you to follow.” – David Wooderson

14. “That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.” – David Wooderson

15. “You ought to ditch the two geeks you’re in the car with now and get in with us.” – David Wooderson

16. “Yeah, man, that’s where all the girls are, right? But I’d just as soon keep workin’, though, keep a little change in my pocket. Better than listenin’ to some dipshit, doesn’t know what the hell he’s talkin’ about, anyway!” – David Wooderson

Also check out these memorable Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes.

Dazed and Confused quotes from Don Dawson (Sasha Jenson)

17. “I’ve got my own ride, but maybe I’ll see you later.” — Don Dawson

18. “Well, all I’m saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place.” – Don Dawson

19. “You know that Julie chick? Loves you. You want her? Gotta play it cool, you know. You can’t let her know how much you like? Cause if she knows, she’ll dump you like that. Believe me. Like, if she asks you if you want a ride, you say, “No, I’ve got my own ride, but maybe I’ll see you later.” Sounds stupid, doesn’t it? It works.” – Don Dawson

20. “Whatever I like? I would definitely marry you.” – Don Dawson

Dazed and Confused quotes from Ron Slater (Rory Cochrane)

21. “Shotgun!” — Ron Slater

22. “George Washington was in a cult, and that cult was into aliens, man.” — Ron Slater

23. “She was a hip, hip-lady, man.” — Ron Slater

24. “Didja ever look at a dollar bill, man? There’s some spooky shit goin’ on there. And it’s green too.” — Ron Slater

25. “I’m letting you have shotgun. But cuz it’s cuz only ‘cuz I’m goin’ inside.” – Ron Slater

26. “Man just wait till I get to college!” – Ron Slater

Don’t forget to also read these humorous Hocus Pocus quotes from the 90s cult classic.

Dazed and Confused quotes from other characters

27. “Wipe that face off your head, b*tch!” — Darla Marks (Parker Posey)

28. “You act like you’re so oppressed. You guys are kings of the school.” — Simone Kerr (Joey Lauren Adams)

29. “Just don’t ask her to take it easy on me.” – Mitch Kramer (Wiley Wiggins)

30. “Maybe the 80s will be like radical or something. I figure we’ll be in our 20s and it can’t get worse.” — Cynthia Dunn (Marissa Ribisi)

31. “I’d like to stop thinking of the present as some minor, insignificant preamble to something else.” — Cynthia Dunn (Marissa Ribisi)

32. “I only came here to do two things, kick some ass, and drink some beer. Looks like we’re almost outta beer.” — Clint Bruno (Nicky Katt)

33. “It’s what everybody in this car needs is some good ol’ worthwhile visceral experience.” – Mike Newhouse (Adam Goldberg)

34. “Lick me, all of you.” – Darla Marks (Parker Posey)

35. “I feel like I’m being stalked by a Nazi.” – Mike Newhouse (Adam Goldberg)

36. “God, don’t you ever feel like everything we do and everything we’ve been taught is just to service the future?” — Cynthia Dunn (Marissa Ribisi)

37. “Okay guys, one more thing, this summer when you’re being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don’t forget what you’re celebrating, and that’s the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn’t want to pay their taxes.” – Ginny Stroud (Kim Krizan)

38. “Go along man, I think it’s past your bedtime!” – Melvin Spivey (Jason O. Smith)

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More Dazed and Confused quotes

39. “I guess I’ll have to get used to seeing you at the same social functions as me. And hanging out with people I know.” – Jodi Kramer (Michelle Burke)

40. “You thought he was cute? Do you realize when he graduated we were like three years old?” – Mike Newhouse (Adam Goldberg)

41. “We’re the aliens man, we’re the savages.” – Kevin Pickford (Shawn Andrews)

42. “I’m just trying to be honest about being a misanthrope.” – Mike Newhouse (Adam Goldberg)

43. “What are we having? Social hour over here? I’m supposed to be being a bitch.” – Jodi Kramer (Michelle Burke)

44. “You are an embarrassment to the game of pool and should be glad I even let you play at my table.” – Fred O’Bannion (Ben Affleck)

45. “Nothing like piling on old pancakes and syrup after a night of beer drinking.” – Tony Olson (Anthony Rapp)

46. “Walkin’ down the hall, by myself, smokin’ a jay with fifty elves.” – Shawn Andrews (Shawn Andrews)

47. “We’re lookin’ for you pal. Your ass will be purple before the day is over!” – Benny O’Donnell (Cole Hauser)

48. “Air raid or it’s your ass.” – Darla Marks (Parker Posey)

49. “Don’t let the fact that you won’t be able to sit down all summer affect your game.” – Carl Burnett (Estefan Powell)

50. “It’s really hot out here and I’m really sick of looking at you.” – Darla Marks (Parker Posey)

Don’t forget to also read these quotes from Doctor Who.

**Who’s your favorite Dazed and Confused cast member turned superstar?**

Although the story of Dazed and Confused is centered in the 1970s, the film also perfectly encapsulates the talent of the 90s.

It’s interesting to see how world-famous actors such as Matthew McConaughey and Milla Jovovich have grown into the actors they are today.

the time frame of the movie, Dazed and Confused remains relatable today because it deals with universal issues including love, drugs, and fear of the future.