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Awkward Napoleon Dynamite Quotes Sure to Make You Laugh

From a cult-classic, these hilarious Napoleon Dynamite quotes are sure to make you laugh and elevate your mood.

Napoleon Dynamite is a comedy film produced in 2004. It details the escapades of the title character Napoleon and leaves the viewer asking if Napoleon Dynamite is high!  He is an exceptionally awkward teenage boy who has trouble fitting in. He lives with his Grandma, who is injured in an accident. This leads to Uncle Rico coming to watch over Napoleon and Kip.

A few fun facts I learned about this film: the lead actor, Jon Heder, was only paid $1000 for the role, the song Napoleon dances to is called “Canned Heat”, and Kip is 32 years old!

Below is our collection of hilarious Napoleon Dynamite quotes that are sure to make your day. Enjoy reading them, and be sure to also check out our list of the best Ron Burgundy quotes as well as these funny Minion quotes.

Napoleon Dynamite quotes about food

1. “Tina, You Fat Lard, Come Get Some Dinner. Tina! Eat The FOOD!” –Napoleon Dynamite

2. “Too bad, she said she doesn’t want you here when she gets back because you’ve been ruining everybody’s lives and eating all our steak.” – Napoleon Dynamite

3. “Tina, come get some ham.” – Napoleon Dynamite

4. “What can I have for dinner? Kip ate the last frozen dinner!” – Napoleon Dynamite

5. “I caught you a delicious bass.” – Napoleon Dynamite

6. “Stay home and eat all the freakin’ chips, Kip!” – Napoleon Dynamite

7. “I See You’re Drinking 1%. Is That ‘Cause You Think You’re Fat? ‘Cause You’re Not. You Could Totally Be Drinking Whole If You Wanted To.” – Napoleon Dynamite

8. “No, I’m freakin’ starving! I didn’t get to eat *anything* today.” – Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite quotes about money and shopping

9. “You pay the bills for that? Does that cost money every time you’re on, like for minutes on the phone?” – Uncle Rico

10. “Why would I want to buy any of this girly crap?” – Napoleon Dynamite

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11. “Napoleon, you know we can’t afford the fun pack. What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you’re at it.” – Uncle Rico

12. “I’m gonna tell you somethin’ right now. While you’re out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is makin’ 120 bucks.” – Uncle Rico

13. [outside, scratching ticket] “Yes! Three spuds! You picked a good one! That’s ten dollars! Yes!” – Napoleon Dynamite

14. “I could make that much money in five seconds!” – Napoleon Dynamite

15. “Napoleon, it looks like you don’t have a job. So why don’t you get out there and feed Tina?” – Uncle Rico

Also check out these hilarious Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes that will make your day.

Napoleon Dynamite quotes about girls

16. “I Don’t Even Have Any Good Skills. You Know, Like Nunchuck Skills, Bow Hunting Skills, Computer Hacking Skills. Girls Only Want Boyfriends Who Have Great Skills!” – Napoleon Dynamite

17. “Well, you have a sweet bike. And you’re really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you’re like the only guy at school who has a mustache.” – Napoleon Dynamite

18. “Napoleon, Don’t Be Jealous That I’ve Been Chatting Online With Babes All Day. Besides, We Both Know That I’m Training To Be A Cage Fighter.” – Kip

19. “Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin’ pretty serious.” – Kip

20. “LaFawnduh is *the* best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m 100% positive she’s my soul mate. Don’t worry Napoleon, I’m sure there’s a babe out there for you too. Peace out.” – Kip

21. “My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out for the dance but she couldn’t cause she’s doing some modeling right now.” – Napoleon Dynamite

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22. “Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamor shots for her birthday one year.” – Napoleon Dynamite

Random Napoleon Dynamite quotes

23. “It’s Pretty Much My Favorite Animal. It’s Like A Lion And A Tiger Mixed… Bred For Its Skills In Magic.” – Napoleon Dynamite

24. “Yeah, Right. Who’s The One That Knows Illegal Ninja Moves From The Government?” – Napoleon Dynamite

25. “So, we’re pretty much friends by now, right?” – Napoleon Dynamite

26. “I spent like three hours doing shading the upper lip. It’s probably the best drawing I’ve ever done.” – Napoleon Dynamite

27. “Get off my property or I’ll call the cops on you.” – Napoleon Dynamite

28. “Maybe I will, GOSH!” – Napoleon Dynamite

29. “Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.” – Napoleon Dynamite

You might also like these Wedding Crashers quotes and one liners.

Napoleon Dynamites quotes that will make your day

30. “I already made like infinity of those at scout camp.” – Napoleon Dynamite

31. “You know, there’s like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I’m pretty good with a bo staff.” – Napoleon Dynamite

32. “Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can’t fit my numchucks in there anymore.” – Napoleon Dynamite

33. “Do the chickens have large talons?” – Napoleon Dynamite

34. “How long did it take you to grow that mustache?” – Napoleon Dynamite

35. “Yeah, it looks pretty sweet. It looks awesome. That suit, it’s… it’s incredible.” – Napoleon Dynamite

36. “The worst day of my life, what do you think?” – Napoleon Dynamite

37. “Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true.” – Pedro

38. “I like your sleeves. They’re real big.” – Napoleon Dynamite

Have you seen these hilarious Dumb and Dumber quotes?

Other interesting Napoleon Dynamites quotes

39. “You don’t have to stay here with us, we’re not babies.” – Napoleon Dynamite

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40. “Last week, Japanese scientists explaced… placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland’s local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.” – Napoleon Dynamite

41. “Sorry I’m late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys.” – Napoleon Dynamite

42. “’Cause I didn’t have a freakin’ choice. All the other sweet clubs were filled up. Gosh!” – Napoleon Dynamite

43. [entering convenience store] Hey, how’s it goin’? “Those egg rolls are looking pretty good. I might get me some later, I don’t have any money right now. You know, I think I’m just gonna get me one of them lotto tickets. My wife says I gotta stop but I’m just feeling real positive today and I wanted to try out my luck and.” – Napoleon Dynamite

44. “Dang! You got shocks… pegs… Lucky! You ever taken off any sweet jumps?” – Napoleon Dynamite

45. “Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my ChapStick?” –Napoleon Dynamite

46. “Why don’t you go eat a decroded piece of crap?” – Napoleon Dynamite

Don’t forget to also read these inspirational Doctor Who quotes.

Which of these Napoleon Dynamite quotes is your favorite?

Some may wonder if Napoleon Dynamite has a plot or if it is just a crazy cult classic. I think it does, and there are even lessons to be learned. The movie is about fitting in, finding friendship in unexpected places, and family! If you haven’t watched this movie yet, you should give it a shot! If nothing else, you will love the llama!!

Did you enjoy these Napoleon Dynamite quotes and lines? Do you have any interesting facts to add? What is your favorite part of the movie? Leave a comment in the section below and share your thoughts!

Danielle Dahl, Lead Contributor
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