Fear! The moment I set a new goal I’m afraid that I won’t be able to meet it. All that comes to mind are the reasons I won’t be able to reach that goal and I can remember every other goal that I didn’t meet in the past. Every New Year’s resolution that lasted for a month, then just fizzled out.
How to no longer be afraid of your goals
Each time I tried to quit smoking and ended up doing nothing more than spending money on gum and patches that are still sitting in the top of my medicine cabinet. The college course I signed up for in an attempt to further my career (that one was very costly and I still haven’t been able to sell the books). I did well in the beginning, but when I got sick and missed two classes I got so far behind that when I went back, I couldn’t catch up with the class no matter how hard I tried. Now, whenever I set a new goal I get butterflies in my stomach and I feel nauseous just thinking about it.
The good news is that I was able to overcome all the self-imposed obstacles that used to hold me back from setting and achieving a new goal. How? It was easy. Instead of looking at the end result of failing, I asked myself, “Why did I fail?” I stopped focusing on the failure and set my sights on the reason for it. What I came up with was this. When I set a goal in the past I would always start out with, “I want to go back to college” or, “I want to lose weight.” It’s too ambiguous, there’s no commitment in “I want to”. The next goal I set started with, “I’m going to!” This changed the way I approached the goal, I wound up putting my whole heart into it and before I knew it, I had achieved my goal.
All you need to do is change the way you think about the goals you set and you will greatly improve your chances of success. Don’t ask yourself, tell yourself.
When you do this, you evoke forces in yourself that will help you get to where you tell yourself you are going, not to where you think you want to go.