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10 Things All New Moms Need to Hear

Danielle Dahl, Lead Contributor

These 10 things all new moms should hear will help you navigate the challenging moments of becoming a parent.

Having a baby is a joyous event, but it can also be a stressful time. These tips will help you feel a little better about doing something you haven’t done before.

Hang in there, mama, it is all going to be alright! Take a deep breath and know that even your most seasoned mom friends have been there. They didn’t always have it so together either!

#1 That’s totally normal

Really, most of the time, this is the answer. Your baby is going to do things that seem strange. You will have all kinds of feelings and emotions (that’s normal too).

When you talk to your friends with babies, you might discover that none of their babies did whatever this thing is. It’s still going to be “normal.” Try not to panic, but if you think that something is off, talk to a professional.

#2 It’s okay to call the pediatrician in the middle of the night (or any other time)

The pediatrician is just the professional that you want to see if you think there is something off with your baby. Reaching out to other moms is an invaluable source of information and most of the time, it might be just what you need.

However, for those times when you have a question that you don’t get a satisfactory answer to; call the pediatrician. If your baby is sick, call the pediatrician. It doesn’t matter what time of the day or night it is. They are there for you and your baby.

If the doctor doesn’t think it is serious, they will see you in the morning. If it is serious, they will tell you what to do right now. Don’t worry about feeling silly, just do it.

#3 A mother’s intuition is a real thing

Now, this might seem a little contradictory to the first two things, but I promise it really isn’t. If you are just wondering about something and everyone assures you it’s normal, then it probably is.

However, if something is telling you that everyone is wrong, and you have this sense that it is something else, then trust your intuition.

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If you went to the pediatrician and felt brushed off, or like something is still wrong, get a second opinion. If your gut is telling you there is something more going on, then listen to it. You will come to understand your mother’s intuition much more as your baby gets older but definitely trust it.

#4 This hard part won’t last forever, so be sure to treasure the little moments

Being a new mom is so hard. Babies are challenging, but if this is your first, there is no actual way to explain how difficult it can be. Sure, people will tell you about the lack of sleep. They will explain the fear and paranoia of being responsible for someone else’s life. You won’t actually be prepared until you live it.

With all that being said, there are so many wonderful moments that are going to happen between you and your baby. Try to remember that they will not always be waking up repeatedly during the night. They also will never look at you again the way they do, from about 6 months to a year old. Or laugh with such pure joy.

Soon they will get bigger, and the whole dynamic will change. Then one day, you will be dropping them off at college feeling an entirely different type of fear.

#5 Get ready to adjust and unlearn everything you thought you knew

This is the most aggravating thing about parenting! I spent months reading What to Expect When You are Expecting and then the next book that came after it. Here’s the thing. A newborn is a vastly different beast than a six-month-old. There is a lot of development between a 1-year-old and a two-year-old. You can’t parent your kindergartner like a toddler.

Every time you learn what your baby needs, it’s going to switch! This change is going to happen frequently throughout your child’s life. Try to get comfortable with change and rolling with the punches. Parenting is a wild ride of “Oh, this is new.”

#6 Take the time you need to recharge your own batteries

Self-care is not selfish. Stop right there. I know the mom guilt is a thing, and even other people can be judgy about it. However, you will be the best mom to your baby when your own needs are met.

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You might have to get creative about the ways you take care of yourself as a mom, but that’s ok! Self-care makes you happier and healthier, both things your baby will appreciate. A happy mommy is one who is engaged and present.

Also, your baby can pick up on your anxiety and stress, so it really is just better for everyone if you recharge your batteries when you need it.

#7 Your baby isn’t mad at you when it cries

A newborn’s only real means of communication is screaming. They are going to cry when they are hungry, wet, bored, uncomfortable, gassy, and when they just want to see you. It can get pretty disheartening for the person who is trying to soothe a constantly crying infant.

Please don’t take it personally. Your little one is not crying because they don’t love you. One of the hardest things is when someone else picks up your little one and they stop crying. New moms get upset about this, understandably.

However, this happens for several reasons. Babies can pick up on stress and anxiety, so if you felt that way, your baby can tell something is wrong. Also, babies feel more comfortable with you but with someone else holding them, they may actually quiet down because they do not feel as safe.

#8 Don’t go at it alone—get help when you need it

There is no shame in asking for help, whether it is because you need some time for self-care or if you are just feeling overwhelmed. Whatever your reasons are for feeling like you need help, it is ok to reach out!

It takes a village to raise kids and none of us are meant to do it all alone. Leaving your baby with someone you trust for a little while is a good thing. I am sure your baby’s grandparents, relatives, or even your close friends won’t mind spending a little time with your bundle of joy.

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#9 Sleep when the baby sleeps (no, really do it)

Everyone says this and not enough people do it! Sure, your baby is probably going to sleep a lot so if you want to catch up on other things you can. However, at least try to get in a nap or two as well!

You are not a newborn and sleeping is essential, despite what your new baby apparently thinks.

#10 People with unsolicited advice mean well—that doesn’t mean you need to listen

With parenting comes all kinds of advice from nearly everyone. It won’t just be grandparents and friends trying to tell you how to do things. I once got told by some random lady in the grocery store that my baby was too little to be out.

Sometimes people’s advice is helpful, but remember, just because someone else has an opinion doesn’t mean they are right. It also doesn’t mean you have to listen if you don’t want to. It is your baby!

You can do this!

Snuggle your baby, breathe in that heavenly baby smell, and tell yourself you’ve got this. There are plenty of people that love you and your new baby, so let them help get you through. If you are struggling with depression, let your doctor know. That is normal, too!

Most people will tell you how wonderful being a mom is (and it truly is), but there are going to be tough times. I thought having a newborn was hard until I had a toddler. I thought the terrible twos were something else until I had a teenager.

If there is one thing I think everyone mom really needs to hear, it is that is ok if you don’t feel like parenting is the best gig in the world every single day.

Have you recently had a new baby? What was something someone said to you that you think someone else might need to hear? Have you been a mom for a long time now, and have some other sage advice to leave with us? Use the comment section below to share your thoughts.

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