10 Things All New Moms Need to Hear
January 11, 2022 9:31 AM EST | 8 min read
These 10 things all new moms should hear will help you navigate the challenging moments of becoming a parent.
Having a baby is a joyous event.
Yet moving past the baby shower to actual parenting can also be stressful.
These tips will help you feel better about doing something you haven’t done before.
Hang in there, mama. It is all going to be alright!
Take a deep breath and know that even your most seasoned mom friends have been there.
They didn’t always have it so together either!
#1 That’s totally normal
Most of the time, this is the answer.
Your baby is going to do things that seem strange.
You will have all kinds of feelings and emotions (that’s normal too).
When you talk to your friends with babies, you might discover that none of their babies did whatever this thing is.
It’s still going to be “normal.”
Try not to panic, but if you think something is off, talk to a professional.
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#2 It’s okay to call the pediatrician in the middle of the night (or any other time)
The pediatrician is just the professional that you want to see if you think there is something off with your baby.
Reaching out to other moms is an invaluable source of information, and most of the time, it might be just what you need.
However, for those times when you have a question that you don’t get a satisfactory answer to; call the pediatrician.
If your baby is sick, call the pediatrician.
It doesn’t matter what time of the day or night it is.
They are there for you and your baby.
If the doctor doesn’t think it is serious, they will see you in the morning.
If it is serious, they will tell you what to do right now.
Don’t worry about feeling silly, just do it.
#3 A mother’s intuition is a real thing
This might seem contradictory to the first two things, but I promise it isn’t.
It probably is if you are just wondering about something and everyone assures you it’s normal.
However, if something is telling you that everyone is wrong, and you have this sense that it is something else, trust your intuition.
If you went to the pediatrician and felt brushed off or like something is still wrong, get a second opinion.
If your gut is telling you something more is going on, listen to it.
You will understand your mother’s intuition much more as your baby gets older but trust it.
#4 This hard part won’t last forever, so be sure to treasure the little moments
Being a new mom is so hard.
Babies are challenging, but if this is your first, there is no way to explain how difficult it can be.
Sure, people will tell you about the lack of sleep.
They will explain the fear and paranoia of being responsible for someone else’s life.
You won’t be prepared until you live it.
With all that being said, there are so many wonderful moments that are going to happen between you and your baby.
Remember that they will not always wake up repeatedly during the night.
They also will never look at you again the way they do, from about 6 months to a year old.
Or laugh with such pure joy.
Soon they will get bigger, and the whole dynamic will change.
Then one day, you will be dropping them off at college feeling an entirely different type of fear.
#5 Get ready to adjust and unlearn everything you thought you knew
This is the most aggravating thing about parenting!
I spent months reading What to Expect When You are Expecting and the next book that came after it.
Here’s the thing.
A newborn is a vastly different beast than a six-month-old.
There is a lot of development between a 1-year-old and a two-year-old.
You can’t parent your kindergartner like a toddler.
Every time you learn what your baby needs, it will switch!
This change is going to happen frequently throughout your child’s life.
Try to get comfortable with change and rolling with the punches.
Parenting is a wild ride of “Oh, this is new.”
#6 Take the time you need to recharge your own batteries
Self-care is not selfish.
Stop right there.
I know the mom guilt is a thing, and even other people can be judgy about it.
However, you will be your baby’s best mom when your needs are met.
You might have to get creative about how you care for yourself as a mom, but that’s ok!
Self-care makes you happier and healthier, both things your baby will appreciate.
A happy mommy is engaged and present.
Also, your baby can pick up on your anxiety and stress, so it is just better for everyone if you recharge your batteries when you need them.
#7 Your baby isn’t mad at you when it cries
A newborn’s only real means of communication is screaming.
They are going to cry when they are hungry, wet, bored, uncomfortable, gassy, and when they just want to see you.
It can get pretty disheartening for the person trying to soothe a constantly crying infant.
Please don’t take it personally.
Your little one is not crying because they don’t love you.
One of the hardest things is when someone else picks up your little one, and they stop crying.
New moms get upset about this, understandably.
However, this happens for several reasons.
Babies can pick up on stress and anxiety, so if you feel that way, your baby can tell you something is wrong.
Also, babies feel more comfortable with you, but with someone else holding them, they may quiet down because they do not feel as safe.
#8 Don’t go at it alone—get help when you need it
There is no shame in asking for help, whether because you need some time for self-care or if you are just feeling overwhelmed.
Whatever your reasons are for feeling like you need help, it is ok to reach out!
It takes a village to raise kids, and we are not meant to do it alone.
Leaving your baby with someone you trust for a little while is good.
I am sure your baby’s grandparents, relatives, or even close friends won’t mind spending a little time with your bundle of joy.
#9 Sleep when the baby sleeps (no, really do it)
Everyone says this, and not enough people do it!
Sure, your baby will probably sleep a lot, so if you want to catch up on other things, you can.
However, at least try to get in a nap or two!
You are not a newborn, and sleeping is essential, despite what your new baby thinks.
#10 People with unsolicited advice mean well—that doesn’t mean you need to listen
With parenting comes all kinds of advice from nearly everyone.
It won’t just be grandparents and friends trying to tell you how to do things.
I once got told by some random lady in the grocery store that my baby was too little to be out.
Sometimes people’s advice is helpful, but remember, just because someone else has an opinion doesn’t mean they are right.
It also doesn’t mean you have to listen if you don’t want to.
It is your baby!
You can do this!
Snuggle your baby, breathe in that heavenly baby smell, and tell yourself you’ve got this.
Many people love you and your new baby, so let them help get you through.
If you are struggling with depression, let your doctor know.
That is normal, too!
Most people will tell you how wonderful being a mom is (and it truly is), but there will be tough times.
I thought having a newborn was hard until I had a toddler.
I thought the terrible twos were something else until I had a teenager.
If there is one thing I think everyone’s mom needs to hear, it is that it is ok if you don’t feel like parenting is the best gig in the world every single day.
Have you recently had a new baby?
What was something someone said you think someone else might need to hear?
Have you been a mom for a long time and have some other sage advice to leave with us?
Use the comment section below to share your thoughts.