Talk about adversity to a single, student, pregnant mom in a foreign country where single motherhood is taboo, and a pre-existent health condition threatens her baby. More so, this woman had never dreamed to become a mom, nor have she ever held a newborn in her arms before.
Overcoming adversity by generating emotional resilence
As this is my story, I’ll tell you what happened 11 years later: She earned her Master’s degree on time, the baby became a graceful homeschooled flutist, and she became the CEO of an International Business she’s absolutely passionated about.
Here you go with 3 pieces of emotional equipment that helped her Play the Adversity Game Like a Pro
It’s very likely that if you’re facing adversity there might be places where you aren’t so proud about yourself. Either you didn’t address the situation earlier, you feel this is all your fault, you have let anger fill your thoughts…or you were plain arrogant, like me.
The good news is you can’t change the past but you can certainly move away from it, forgive yourself, apologize to those you’ve hurt, and fix the damage as soon as possible, being upfront and authentic as you reach out for help.
If you find yourself saying “but none of this is my fault”, maybe it’s an opportunity to forgive someone else, and move forward; but don’t miss the opportunity to acknowledge your faults, because this is the only way you can truly experience forgiveness.
When I reached out to people acknowledging my faults, not blaming anyone else, and with a positive attitude, I found I was able to enjoy my pregnancy and later on my baby without guilt, as I didn’t have to hide from anyone.
A positive attitude helped the people around me to overcome their cultural prejudices and enjoy my presence as I was committed to enjoy motherhood, no matter what. Whether I was bringing a pregnancy pillow to the classroom, in my late pregnancy, or carrying my baby on a sling around the campus, I found people willing to laugh with me, in the midst of my adversity.
Wether it is your life, your career or your business, authenticity creates fans, and as you embrace an upfront attitude, you’ll find more people are willing to sing up with your team, to help you win the game.
Weather this adversity was provoked by your own actions or not, the fact is that it’s in your life, it’s your game, and you’re responsible to play it.
So commit to succeed, even if you don’t know how it’s going to happen, and walk in the certainty that in the adversity game, commitment makes more points than skills.
Even if I never planned to become a mom, nor I knew a word about parenting, I was so committed to crack the parenting code and enjoy motherhood, that a few months after my baby was born, I already had people reaching out to me for parenting advice.
It’s also important that you show your commitment to win the adversity game, with all the people in your network that could possibly be of help, because commitment is contagious, and cool.
One of the best moves I made when I got pregnant, was to start bold and honest conversations with my family, professors, and friends, even if it was very uncomfortable for everyone. This is a skill that later on allowed me to build a successful business in an adverse environment, boldly reaching out for help and resources, with empowered money conversations.
Your current adversity is not only for your own growth, but also for the people you influence, so while you struggle to cross the river yourself, don’t forget to take a few stones for the people that is waiting for you on the other side.
I remember my son was gifted with too many baby clothes, so I reached out to a friend who just have had a baby. They were a married couple, apparently in a situation way better than mine, but I realized they were having a difficult time financially, and I had the privilege to bless them in the middle of my adversity.
Remember that the Adversity Game is a cooperative game, in which the more you help others win, the more you take away for yourself. If you think there’s nothing you can give, be reminded that a sincere, encouraging word coming from a person dealing with adversity, has much more stock value than a best-selling book on personal growth.
Bringing these qualities to the adversity game doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy or quick, but it warranties that you’re going to takeaway the most from your experience, so that you leave the trial with the qualities you’ll need to deal with your next level of success.