Your beliefs will either empower you to live the life you deserve or hold you back from your potential. Let’s face it. Beliefs are simply words and words are powerful.
Most of us know that what we say to others is extremely important. However, we forget that what we say to ourselves is crucial to our daily lives.
Our spoken words become communication and energy that is going into the world, representing us and creating our relationships with others. The words we say to ourselves determine our beliefs. Beliefs become powerful constructs embedded deeply in our brains and behavior.
These beliefs determine our results in life.
Most of our ideals are created by the unconscious, undisciplined part of the mind, which generates a flow of nonsensical, unhelpful dribble. Good luck manifesting a happy life from those words!
Some things to keep in mind about beliefs
We can actually believe anything. Remember when the world was believed to be flat? And we thought diets worked? Or women were incapable of running a corporation and men were incapable of changing a diaper?
Beliefs develop over time, depending on the information we gather. Empowerment stems from healthy and positive beliefs.
We made up the ideals we currently believe in, like—we were inadequate, destined to fail, not good enough—or whatever other negative automatic thoughts you tell yourself. What would happen if you thought of things that got you excited about life?
Try these five thoughts to create empowering beliefs:
1. I am a unique.
We are all unique human beings, with a unique set of values and talents. So much pain comes from comparing ourselves to others and finding ourselves lacking.
Comparison is always unloving. Your path is undoubtedly different from mine, and just as valid and valuable.
When we embrace our uniqueness, which involves getting to know ourselves, we develop a sweet self-affection for our strengths and weaknesses, our best qualities, and our bumbling goofs and mistakes in life.
2. My life doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.
There’s a system that guarantees a dull, empty life. It looks like society’s norm: a certain level of education, career success, thin, healthy, paired up, mortgaged home, picket fence, 2.3 kids, 1.4 pets, and 2 cars, etc.
The stream of what is normal is constant from many sources. It comes from the media, the web, and social media. Everyone tells us “get these things and you will be happy.”
My coaching practice is full of people desperate to check the boxes. Without ever questioning why, they avoided these things for years, or even decades. Self-sabotage is often about self-protection.
However, happiness has never been so elusive and confusing, given the myriad of choices we have today. Many people can’t keep themselves well-fed and cope with the high-frequency stress and busyness of life. Never mind parenting a pet or child. Some folks don’t thrive, neatly partnered up.
If I had a dollar for every female client who believed she had to be married only to achieve that goal and then want out quickly. It happens so fast, it would make your head spin like the Exorcist child.
One client relinquished the marriage dream after coaching helped her analyze her desire for a husband. Her deepest yearning was to travel and experience different cultures. She thought it would only be safe to do so with a husband.
Really? Yep, that was her belief. (Remember, we make this sh*t up!)
She wound up quitting her job and joining a travel group, which got her interested in more travel. This led to a new career with a major travel company.
Crafting life to make you happy is the key. It is up to each of us to get to know our unvarnished selves and make the key decisions that align us with our true selves.
It’s never too late to pursue our heart’s desires. It’s never too late to create empowering beliefs.
3. Nothing is personal.
Let’s face it. Life is full of drama. People dump their beliefs and ideas on us, as well as their judgment and criticism. But ALL of it—100 percent of it—is THEIR stuff.
People with self-loathing will gladly share it with us (if we let them). Disappointed, deeply unhappy folks will feel better if we experience the doldrums with them. And multitudes of human beings will spread their fear over, through and into us (even if we don’t notice).
Recognizing we all share ourselves constantly, through every interaction, helps us take nothing personally.
Any time someone is dumping on you, take a moment and notice just how miserable they are. Then, run. Our energy and attitude are raised or lowered by those with which we spend our precious time. Surround yourself with people who practice empowering beliefs.
4. I am grateful.
Research into happiness has pointed to this key phrase as the most powerful we can use.
Gratitude must come from the heart. Reveling in gratitude is a creative, reassuring, stress-free activity. It reframes any difficulty, dilemma, or challenge.
One of my favorite phrases is “Thank you for giving me [fill in the blank].” Even when we hear something we don’t want to hear (“You’re fired.” “I’m leaving.” “I hate you.”), say thank you.
After all, that phrase we don’t want to hear is pointing us somewhere new. Possibly somewhere much, much better.
5. Nobody is the boss of me!
We all yearn for self-determination. In fact, we grow itchy, uncomfortable, and rebel against control from other people, family, diets, corporations, institutions, and government.
When we are in charge of ourselves—and, by this, I mean being in charge of our responses and reactions – conditions and circumstances don’t rule our lives. Unfathomable change can rock our sea and we are happy to be on the ride.
Good and bad times alike should roll off our backs. Try welcoming the natural difficulties of life. Learn to navigate both rough and calm water. We flow. This is the power of these empowering beliefs!
Get To It! Create Empowering Beliefs
It’s entirely in our power to create the beliefs that will motivate us. The ones that help us attain goals that are meaningful and support us. Studies show the root of most relationship problems is expecting the “unexpectable” from a partner.
It’s natural to want a spouse, friend or partner to affirm and love us. However, in many parts of our lives, we are our only witness. In those situations, we’re the only ones who can confirm whether our best selves are showing up in life.
Our ability to create and manage empowering beliefs is part of that intimate self-care that supports a more rewarding, exceptional life.