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Spend less time searching and more time living

Dr. Nikki Martinez, Lead Contributor

Do you ever think that people spend so much time trying to find their life’s purpose, that they let life pass them by? I think you see this all too often. People are so focused on what is next, that they fail to enjoy what IS now. Then there are other people that may not even realize that they have found and reached their purpose in life, but they are so busy looking for what is next, that they miss enjoying reaching their potential.

Spend less time searching and more time living

The commonality here is that people are missing out, they are missing the important moments in their lives, with the important people in their lives. They are missing out on enjoying experiences in their lives, because they are always looking for the next big thing. This often leads to lack of contentment, and great unhappiness for themselves, and to those in their lives. These are the people who miss the important moments in their partners and children’s lives, because they are too busy looking for the next big thing, because they believe what they have and where they are at is not good enough.


Many people are searching for the recognition that they imagine comes with this purpose.


There is an innate quality in people to want to be special, to want to be recognized, and they believe that finding their purpose will create that for them. Something that we all have more in common than people think is to feel significant, to be recognized, to be unique. Unfortunately, many, if not most, people do not feel this way, which leaves them searching for the answer to what their purpose is. All I can say is Stop! Stop letting life pass you by! Start enjoying what you have in the here and now before it is gone. Do you want to kill yourself working all those extra hours to get the promotion, but miss your child growing up? You seal all the major deals, but you miss all the special moments with your partner? You can be a success on one area, but be an utter failure in the areas of your life that really matter. It becomes about priorities and deciding what tract you are on. Are you on the one where nothing else matters, or are you on the one where everything else matters?

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What if our purpose has deeper meaning than the way we have been living? What is we need to redefine purpose?


If we have been living under the assumption that purpose equals professional success, when really it is much more about the personal successes? What is personal success and purpose? Is it being genuinely happy for our partner when they have a success? Is it finding pride in our children when they are doing well at school, or excelling at a sport? Can their success be our purpose? Can our purpose be to be behind the people that we love, and to offer them the full support we have? I think the most important question is, can we be happy enjoying the success and forward motion of those around us, or is it only when it is our own personal purpose and success? It depends on where a person places their weight. Do they place more weight on professional or personal success? There are people that are each way. Hearing that a partner is more professionally than personally driven can be hurtful to a partner, and can make them feel as if they are not, and never will be as important at their partner’s career.


Stop and ask yourself, is what I have now enough? Can I stop and enjoy what I have worked for and grown?


Will I regret what I will miss, more than I will regret working late to TRY and achieve something, or try to impress someone? Shouldn’t the people I should be most concerned with impressing in my life those who I love? Shouldn’t I be concerned with being a good parent and partner above all else? Do I want to keep missing special moments, or do I want to decide today that I want to be part of the moments? This means I will not miss out and hear the replay, I will be there. I will stop reaching for this invisible and undefined purpose, and look at the purpose I have already been given? If you are lucky enough to learn to be content. To look at the gifts and blessings you have already been given, and take the time to enjoy them, you may have already found your purpose in life, you had just been looking in the wrong place. Stop, look around, and see what you already have to be grateful for.

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