Are you looking for ways to increase your confidence?
Do you think, “although others praise me for my abilities, I have no confidence in myself.”?
How can we change this type of thought process and behavior?
“Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.” – Gandhi
Increasing your confidence comes from the journey
I view confidence as a journey we take throughout our lives.
From my experience, it is something that warrants attention every single day.
Looking back, throughout our childhood, we are filled with excitement, silliness, and confidence within ourselves!
Then as we grow up, we lose it through dealings with friends, family, bosses, exes, photo-shopped magazine pictures, the habit of constantly comparing ourselves to others, etc…
We can then spend the rest of our lives trying to get it back and prove we are enough!
I believe that self-confidence is our birthright.
This is a huge part of my coaching, so let me break it down for you step by step so that we can build it back up!
4 Tips to help increase your Confidence
1. Positive Affirmations
I am a huge advocate for affirmations every single morning!
Listening is easy, and you can find them on YouTube!
I often listen while getting cleaned up, on my way to a meeting, and getting breakfast ready, any time at all.
I’m not asking you to believe the positive affirmations when you start, but I suggest you immediately listen to something that draws you into the words!
All it takes is 5 to 15 minutes EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
The wonderful thing about starting your day off with this is that the mind will go to what it is familiar with and comfortable with, and you’re creating a positive habit to start your day.
So when you add this to your morning, it will eventually become your new normal, and I promise you will eventually believe them!
I suggest listening to one or two for a minimum of 30 days straight, then switching it up to another recording to fit the thoughts running through your mind each week.
This is an easy way to help increase your confidence and your self-worth!
2. Break your negative beliefs
This is a really important beginning step in regaining our confidence.
Grab a small notebook and write this down!
Why do you believe you aren’t as good as others say you are?
Go back to the beginning of when this thought process occurred.
- What made you feel like that?
- Who first told you that or gave you that incorrect impression?
- How are these beliefs helping and supporting you now?
Wait, they aren’t supporting you now?
GREAT, let’s get rid of them!
Now let’s focus on changing those negative beliefs!
Let’s think about what you are great at or what you could be great at, who you want to be, and what you want to accomplish in your life.
Then allow these positive thoughts into your mind.
Now, change every negative belief you just wrote to a positive statement.
Allow yourself to receive these good words and thoughts.
Know that you are worth it, and you deserve it.
Sit on that for a bit and possibly meditate on the fact that you are worth it if it will help.
You are on this planet for a reason and deserve all the good it offers, starting within your mind!
Just remember, what we think is what we believe, so always focus on and think about the positive words you’ve just created and review these daily.
Your thoughts create your reality, and always reminding yourself of the good things will lead you to success!
Some of my own examples are:
- I am not creative ~~~ I am, and I have always been creative! I use my thoughts to create new programs to help my clients succeed!
- I am too quiet, and I don’t do well in large groups~~~ I feel totally at ease with myself, and I have an amazing time around large groups of people! Whenever I am in a large group, I have plenty of people to talk with, and it’s a joy!
3. Visualize yourself as confident
To be confident, you must be able to see yourself as confident!
I usually suggest that my clients take just a few minutes to visualize themselves as confident, whatever that means, before they get out of bed or sleep at night.
I know this can be challenging when someone isn’t confident, but determine what it looks like to you.
Then imagine and visualize yourself doing those same things.
When you can take the time to see yourself as confident, you also send clear messages to your brain and makes us feel good about yourself!
Here are some tips to help you out!
- Make the picture very vivid and exciting
- Add exciting and powerful words that make you feel good
- Continue to make your picture bigger and brighter each time
- See your body as strong, your chest out, chin up, with a strong stance
Check out this book, Visualize Confidence, for more tips!
4. Change your language to change your world
The most important words you will ever hear are the words you say to yourself, so stop putting yourself down.
Many studies have shown that confident people speak a different language than those that lack confidence, and when we try, this one can be relatively easy to fix with some practice!
Confident people would never say things like “I can’t,” “it’s too difficult,” or “I wish.”
They don’t use really descriptive words that connect themselves to fear, like “terrified” or “petrified.”
They know how to control their words so they have less impact on their thoughts.
So from now on, don’t use negative words anymore.
To become confident, you must banish talking like this ever again.
Now list the negative things you say to yourself and how you can change them into positive phrases.
Write your own down and read the positives every single day.
Start paying attention to the words you use and change them to the positive.
It won’t take long to get the hang of it!
Here are a couple of examples for you:
- I am totally calm, and I can do this.
- This is challenging me.
- I like myself, and so do the people who matter to me.
- I am terrified.
- This is killing me.
- They won’t like me.
Remember that confidence is something we are born with but diminishes
It can take us a long time to get to where we seek help!
By working through these four suggestions daily, you can get them back!
When you repeat these actions daily, that pathway to your brain is strengthened with each repetition.
Those pathways also diminish when we stop a habit, such as negative words towards ourselves.
It can take at least 21 days to form new habits and patterns but a solid six months to make it a new normal.
Don’t give up and keep moving forward!
Increasing your confidence will help you become the person you were always meant to be!