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How to Overcome Rejection from Your Family

How to Overcome Rejection from Your Family

Rejection is painful. Whether it comes from a potential spouse, a potential employer, or your boss who you were trying to sell a proposition to, rejection has the power to take away your high spirits and happiness.

What’s even worse is when rejection comes from the people who you hold dearest to you. However, unfortunately, rejection can come from anyone, even our families. As much as we’d like to think that people who truly love us wouldn’t reject us, it happens and hurts us in ways we can’t imagine.

How to Overcome Rejection from Your Family

Overcoming rejection can be difficult when you feel too dejected to do anything. This article aims to motivate you to snap out of that low-spiritedness you might be feeling and act in a way that heals your heart so you can move forward.

Figure out what caused the problem

For children who feel like they have been rejected all their lives, it’s important to figure out what caused the problem. Perhaps, it has to do with something that happened when they were too young to know what went on. By noticing someone’s words and actions, you might be able to figure out where the problem lies.

Once you know what the problem is or always has been, you can find ways to deal with it constructively before you move on to other solutions.

For instance, a child could have always been rejected by his father because his mother had passed away during child birth. The father may have always held the child responsible for what happened and found it as a way to deal with his sorrow. Once the child realizes this, he could take steps to grow closer to the one and only parent he has left and make him realize that a misfortune was also met with a blessing (a new familial relationship).

Talk it out

Perhaps, you already know what went wrong and you feel like your viewpoint needs to be shared. In this case, the easiest way to deal with the issue is to talk it out. Sit with the one who has been rejecting you and (nicely) discuss what seems to be the root of the problem. If you feel guilty for something, apologize humbly. Don’t be afraid to cry, because it will release your stress and allow you to open up. This calm and composed approach will likely result in that person reacting in the same way: apologizing and talking it out is a mature way.

Give it some time

Sometimes, emotional levels (such as anger, frustration, and resentment) are so high that it is better not to discuss anything until things have mellowed down a bit. In this scenario it’s best to do what they say: “let the pain heal with time”. If the rejection period is really tough, you might have to move out and stay over at the relative’s, neighbors, or friend’s house before things can be sorted out. If your family truly cares for you despite your choices or mistakes, they will come around eventually and invite you to their house again to make things better.

Find a way to compromise

Very often, rejection can be a result of decision or choice you’re making that your family doesn’t particularly approve of. For example, you could be thinking about getting a degree in business, but your parents might want you to follow family tradition and get a degree in law. If there’s a way you could settle the opposing aspirations, go for it! For example, you could opt for a degree in Business Law.

Seek a family counselor

There’s no harm in involving a third party, particularly someone who would not see the problem in a biased way. An arbitrator could level out both points of view and present possible resolutions. If you’re not comfortable with a family counselor, you may try and involve a trustworthy relative who can try to make things work out.

Walk out

This is going to be the hardest decision to make, and one that needs considerable thought and contemplation before it is reached. Sometimes, your choices in life can completely set you apart from what your family. For example, you may choose to adopt another religion or live in a way that your family completely disapproves of.

If time, talks, counseling and everything else has been tried and a consensus can’t be reached, you may have to think about moving out and only visiting them until they are ready to do so. Sometimes, this is the only way to avoid further dispute, aggression, and negative feelings being boiled up in the family.

Finally, remember that the key to a happy life is always being happy with your own self, regardless of what others may think—even your family! If you think you are right, cheer up and live your life. Avoid those who don’t care about your happiness!

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5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Jalil

    October 7, 2019 at 7:56 am

    I have suffered rejection during my childhood / abused and beaten up by my brothers / abandonned by my Mother / disregarded and humiliated by my father.
    I have always seeked love from them but to no avail as they always been unhappy people and I suffered dearly thinking all my life that there was something wrong with me! consequences are a low self esteem and fleeing and closing down at social situations by fear of rejection.
    Although I am a fighter and always been successful in my professional life, I still struggle 50 years later at the first ounce of rejection and over analyzing others still thinking I am at the center of their negative behavior.
    As I know that I am a great person and there is nothing wrong with me, the struggle with my inner demons is a a tough one. But I know that only love and peace will prevail. Mostly surrounding my self by caring understanding people and avoiding the hurtful ones as I lcontinue to live my beautiful life and doing what I enjoy

  2. Avatar

    Mary G.

    June 11, 2019 at 5:51 pm

    I have refused to lionize my parents as my younger siblings have done due to some
    negative experiences I have had. I feel my siblings have never individuated as separate human beings. They have carried the Fourth Commandment too far for me. Parents are not perfect. When I spoke my truth I was called a “liar” and told to get some help. Believe me, I have had a lifetime to process my experiences. It is cruel to dismiss someone with “get some help”. After years of saying nothing, I know that they can’t handle the truth and I am on my own now and the family scapegoat.

  3. Avatar

    Omkar Randive

    April 2, 2019 at 2:05 pm

    I am suffering from these situations but don’t forget that they are also a human being. Try to be professional with them to avoid disputes and self destructing incidents…..

    • Avatar

      PS

      April 29, 2019 at 11:57 pm

      You are right. If we let our anger get into things, things will get really messy. Handling it professionally helps but it sure is difficult.

      • Avatar

        Sherry

        May 18, 2019 at 7:45 pm

        No matter what you do or say makes a difference It’s all about control and everyone in my family is always trying to get the love and approval of my mother even my father I am out of the family for speaking out I have been in therapy off and on for years You cannot disagree with my mother or oldest sister who is my mom’s favorite and she’s just like her What they all have done tor is unheard of They hurt me to my soul

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