How to Overcome Rejection from Your Family
June 1, 2023 6:00 AM EST | 5 min read
Rejection is painful, and overcoming it can be challenging when family members are hurting you.
Rejection can take away your high spirits and happiness, whether it comes from a potential spouse, a potential employer, or your boss to whom you were trying to sell a proposition.
What’s even worse is rejection from the people you hold dearest to you.
However, unfortunately, rejection can come from anyone, even our families.
You might also enjoy these related articles:
As much as we’d like to think that people who truly love us wouldn’t reject us, it happens and hurts us in ways we can’t imagine.
Overcoming rejection can be difficult when you feel too dejected to do anything.
This article aims to motivate you to snap out of that low-spiritedness you might be feeling and act in a way that heals your heart so you can move forward.
Overcoming rejection is easier when you know the problem
For children who feel like they have been rejected all their lives, it’s important to figure out what caused the problem.
Perhaps, it has to do with something that happened when they were too young to know what happened.
By noticing someone’s words and actions, you might be able to figure out where the problem lies.
Once you know what the problem is or always has been, you can find ways to deal with it constructively before you move on to other solutions.
For instance, a child could have always been rejected by his father because his mother had passed away during childbirth.
The father may have always held the child responsible for what happened and found it as a way to deal with his sorrow.
Once the child realizes this, he could take steps to grow closer to the one and only parent he has left and make him realize that a misfortune was also met with a blessing (a new familial relationship).
Talk it out
Perhaps you already know what went wrong and feel your viewpoint needs to be shared.
In this case, the easiest way to deal with the issue is to talk it out.
Sit with the one who has been rejecting you and (nicely) discuss what seems to be the root of the problem.
If you feel guilty for something, apologize humbly.
Don’t be afraid to cry because it will release your stress and allow you to open up.
This calm and composed approach will likely result in that person reacting similarly: apologizing and talking it out is mature.
Overcoming rejection will take time
Sometimes, emotions (such as anger, frustration, and resentment) are so high that it is better not to discuss anything until things have mellowed down a bit.
In this scenario, it’s best to do what they say: “let the pain heal with time.”
If the rejection period is tough, you might have to move out and stay at a relative’s, neighbor’s, or friend’s house before things can be sorted out.
If your family truly cares for you despite your choices or mistakes, they will invite you to their house again to improve things.
Find a way to compromise
Often, rejection can result from a decision or choice you’re making that your family doesn’t approve of.
For example, you could be thinking about getting a degree in business, but your parents might want you to follow family tradition and get a law degree.
If there’s a way you could settle the opposing aspirations, go for it!
For example, you could opt for a degree in Business Law.
Seek a family counselor
There’s no harm in involving a third party, particularly someone who would not see the problem in a biased way.
An arbitrator could level out both points of view and present possible resolutions.
If you’re uncomfortable with a family counselor, you may involve a trustworthy relative who can try to make things work out.
This will be the hardest decision to make and needs considerable thought and contemplation before reaching it.
Sometimes, your choices in life can completely set you apart from your family.
For example, you may adopt another religion or live in a way your family completely disapproves of.
If time, talks, counseling, and everything else has been tried and a consensus can’t be reached, you may have to consider moving out and only visiting them until they are ready.
Sometimes, this is the only way to avoid further disputes, aggression, and negative feelings being boiled up in the family.
Finally, remember that the key to a happy life is always being happy with yourself, regardless of what others may think—even your family!
If you think you are right, cheer up and live your life.
Avoid those who don’t care about your happiness!
Check out this article if you need help overcoming rejection from your family.
March 17, 2021 at 4:15 PM
my son is critically ill in hospital and has now lost his mind. He is everything to me. The hospital have decided its in his best interests not to allow me to visit him or speak to him. On top of that my daughter has rejected me and taken my grandbaby away. on top of that my mother is staying with my abusive ex for a few days and will be all cosy with them all. When I asked to meet with her I am told we can meet outside. with no explanation and she hung up up the phone. I have been rejected since birth and not beibg able to speak to my son is killing me. there is no solution and it hurts like crazy
January 17, 2021 at 5:08 AM
My family cut me off for many years and went on with their life as if nothing happened. Many family functions gatherings happened but no one invited me. And that hurt that they all singled me out like that. And I don’t even know what was my crime for such harsh treatments? And then suddenly out of no where my second sister called me as if nothing happened? No sorry? No remorse at all? I got mad that why call me now and pretend nothing happened? But they all still think they did nothing wrong and I am the one that’s hanging to the past? I should let go? But how do I do that? It keeps bothering me. Because am afraid if they had no problem in throwing me out of their life before how do I know they won’t do it again? Any one else had to deal with something like that or am I the only one? I feel so hopeless. Please any advise? Thank you.
April 25, 2020 at 3:45 PM
I was rejected because I no longer believed in the Christian faith. when I was a child I believed, I bought it all. Christmas, Santa , the devil, angels, ghosts witches, good and evil , but during my late teen years I began to think and reason in a different way. I have been in church since age 13. am now in my sixties. i guess I rejected the mysticism of christianity. I sat through church services where demons were casted out of people, so everyone believed . There were prophets prophesying people were afraid of God, death and dying . all around me believers were filled with th spirit. I waited but never got filled with it. I was rejected for this as an unbeliever. I realized it I faked it they would accept me. then I realized it has were taking it also. I could not live with this deception.
October 7, 2019 at 7:56 AM
I have suffered rejection during my childhood / abused and beaten up by my brothers / abandonned by my Mother / disregarded and humiliated by my father.
I have always seeked love from them but to no avail as they always been unhappy people and I suffered dearly thinking all my life that there was something wrong with me! consequences are a low self esteem and fleeing and closing down at social situations by fear of rejection.
Although I am a fighter and always been successful in my professional life, I still struggle 50 years later at the first ounce of rejection and over analyzing others still thinking I am at the center of their negative behavior.
As I know that I am a great person and there is nothing wrong with me, the struggle with my inner demons is a a tough one. But I know that only love and peace will prevail. Mostly surrounding my self by caring understanding people and avoiding the hurtful ones as I lcontinue to live my beautiful life and doing what I enjoy
June 11, 2019 at 5:51 PM
I have refused to lionize my parents as my younger siblings have done due to some
negative experiences I have had. I feel my siblings have never individuated as separate human beings. They have carried the Fourth Commandment too far for me. Parents are not perfect. When I spoke my truth I was called a “liar” and told to get some help. Believe me, I have had a lifetime to process my experiences. It is cruel to dismiss someone with “get some help”. After years of saying nothing, I know that they can’t handle the truth and I am on my own now and the family scapegoat.
April 2, 2019 at 2:05 PM
I am suffering from these situations but don’t forget that they are also a human being. Try to be professional with them to avoid disputes and self destructing incidents…..
April 29, 2019 at 11:57 PM
You are right. If we let our anger get into things, things will get really messy. Handling it professionally helps but it sure is difficult.
May 18, 2019 at 7:45 PM
No matter what you do or say makes a difference It’s all about control and everyone in my family is always trying to get the love and approval of my mother even my father I am out of the family for speaking out I have been in therapy off and on for years You cannot disagree with my mother or oldest sister who is my mom’s favorite and she’s just like her What they all have done tor is unheard of They hurt me to my soul