There is always a reason behind feeling inadequate.Having the courage to look back to where it began is your beginning of finding the solution.
Did your feelings of inadequacy start with:
- something you did that you’re still holding onto?
- criticism or abuse from childhood?
- experiences that left you doubting yourself?
Feelings of inadequacy can have a rippling effect on everything from the type of partner you pick, the work you do and your overall satisfaction in life.
When Will I Feel Like I’m Good Enough to Pursue My Most Exciting Goals?
Practicing these steps can make a tremendous difference in the quality of your life – but it takes a willingness to look within yourself and make some changes.
Finding the origin
The first step is tracing back where these feelings of inadequacy began.For instance, do you have unresolved family hurt or resentment that need healing? Did you learn these feelings in childhood? If so when did they start?
Write these experiences out in a journal and see the connection between how you feel today and when it started. This can increase your awareness how why you feel the way you do. The next step is changing those thoughts.
Change your thinking
Feelings of inadequacy can take over and cloud how you feel about yourself. They can make you feel like your drowning. Instead, acknowledge what you like about yourself. Make a list of what people appreciate about you. Learn to accept compliments. What you were told as a child was more about them than it was about you.Fears are false evidence appearing real. But they can transform into gentle acceptance.
Confident people take care of themselves. Take pride in your appearance. Get plenty of sleep and start exercising. Make sure you have a strong support system because people who have more friends have a higher level of self-esteem than those who don’t.
If you feel stuck when making changes look at the secondary gain. It’s when you can’t stop a behavior (or belief) because it’s benefitting you in some way. Find how those feelings are benefitting you.
For example, giving up feelings of inadequacy means change. People hold onto negative beliefs out of fear because there is comfort is what is familiar.
If you continue to feel bad about yourself, you won’t apply for that new job or ask that cute girl out. Those feelings keep you isolated.
Learn to pay attention to your own self-talk and practice kindness. It takes practice, and practice makes each of one us perfectly imperfect.