How to Become The Strongest Version of Yourself
June 20, 2022 8:45 AM EST | 6 min read
So you wish to be a stronger version of yourself?
You must embark on an adventure!
“No,” you might be saying.
“I’m not interested in an adventure. I’d simply like to be a bit wiser, healthier, productive, resilient, creative, happier, or perhaps more enlightened. Can’t I just read a book?”
An adventure it must be.
That’s precisely what is required to be stronger.
But don’t be intimidated by the word “adventure.”
Every life-changing adventure follows a structure that includes some hard truths.
If you understand these truths now, you may be more sure-footed on your journey toward self-improvement.
5 Hard Truths You Must Accept To Be Stronger
1. You must face a major challenge to grow.
The challenge may be desirable, exciting, and of your design, such as moving across the country to begin a new job OR starting a family.
But most of the time, life’s challenges begin when (get ready…) your life falls apart somehow.
There, I said it.
Before you think, “Heck, no!
That’s NOT the adventure I’m seeking!”
please consider that your life has probably fallen apart or drastically changed in some way already.
While we can often choose our life challenges, it is typically the case that the most growth happens when the unexpected occurs.
Think of the boy wizard, Harry Potter.
His world changed—seemingly for the better—when he studied at Hogwarts School.
But he was also being pursued by an evil nemesis intent on destroying him.
Most of us would choose only mild challenges to help us grow.
Baby steps, anyone?
But such challenges do NOT carry the firepower needed for us to truly transform and be stronger.
2. You must lose your way to find your stronger self.
Do you hate wandering with no clear sense of direction?
Does it make your skin crawl to not know what lurks around the bend?
Then welcome to the next phase of true personal growth to be stronger.
You must – and I mean must – feel lost and confused, at least for a while.
Sometimes, a long while.
Did you get that?
When you are lost, and no clear answers are forthcoming, you are forced to rely on your inner resolve to persevere, whatever wits you still have left, and guidance from others.
This is a magical phase where, since you have NO idea exactly where you will end up or how you will get there, you are at the gods’ mercy.
But once you get your overthinking mind out of the way, the gods, the universe, nature, and unexpected wizards may cross your path and assist you.
If you allow your mind to be like a calm lake, you will detect the ripple of a single fallen leaf.
That leaf represents inner wisdom or outer guidance.
But if you overthink, your mind-splashing will never let you detect that all-important leaf and ripple on the lake of your mind.
3. You must let go of old beliefs and habits that no longer serve you.
In 1914, during World War I battled in Belgium, British and German soldiers who had been shooting at one another across a muddy field spontaneously called a Christmas truce.
Enemy soldiers walked across the field, shook hands, offered tobacco, newspapers, or cake gifts, and even began a soccer match.
For a few days, soldiers on both sides let go of their belief that they must fight one another.
So there was peace.
Sadly, they soon went back to their respective trenches and resumed shooting.
Trust me on this: on your adventure, you will begin to question the validity of one or more of your long-held beliefs.
If you let go of some of those, you will become stronger.
Some examples of beliefs that usually don’t hold up over time:
- If I am a good person, then really bad things won’t happen to me…
- If I am fair to others, they will be fair to me…
- If I can’t get what I want, my life will have no meaning…
- I always know what is in my best interest…
- Others must change for me to be happy…
- I attract everything that comes my way…
- I am in control of my destiny…
- I have no control over my destiny…
There is a simple test of your beliefs.
Ask yourself, “Is this true?”
If the answer is “no” or “I’m not so sure”, chances are, you need to re-work some of your philosophies.
4. You will lose some people who are close to you.
Don’t despair about this.
Sometimes, we simply grow apart from old friends, no harm intended.
But to be stronger, you will rattle the cages of some folks who will NOT like the new you.
They may not want you to move away, change careers, change your religion, or develop new interests.
If you break family or cultural traditions, you will not receive applause or standing ovations from those who still adhere to those traditions.
Some people need you to be exactly the way you have always been.
This is so they can remain exactly the way they have always been.
By strengthening yourself, YOU may be the rug that gets pulled out from under them, forcing them on an adventure they do not want – but probably desperately need.
Crucial insight: If your self-improvement hurts someone else’s feelings or disrupts their vision of their life, keep in mind that perhaps they need to learn from this.
And your actions may help them grow.
5. You must give back in some way.
“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” – Aldous Huxley
Your transformation to be stronger will be meaningless unless you use your newfound strength to help others.
True personal evolution is inner growth that extends outward to others.
You must become the wizard that others meet up with on their adventure.
In giving back, you will continue to face new challenges and obstacles that will allow you to grow even further.
It is a never-ending cycle.
If you do NOT give back and assist others, your attempts to evolve will cause you to devolve.
And that will create more unnecessary pain in your life.
But the good news is that pain can be the springboard to real growth.
In that way, every loss can help you be stronger; every mistake can bring forth an insight, and every hurt can eventually heal you and become a healing balm for others.
Now go have an adventure!
February 12, 2021 at 8:16 AM
Just like the Title says theses are Hard truths that I have been having a hard time understand, and have only made it worse over this past year, Thank you for helping me understand. I hope I still have time to set things right.
April 30, 2019 at 12:09 AM
Our own adventures are far more exciting compared to others. We should realize this and love ourselves. Another great article! Thank you!!
April 28, 2019 at 10:33 AM
Excellent! Thank you! I’ve been down a path for five years now full of pain and sadness yet each hurdle has made me a better person full of compassion for others like never before.