The only way to keep disagreements about this election from seeping into relationships with friends and family who have different views is by opening a dialogue.
I said dialogue. Sitting in the same room and discussing the issues in a calm manner.
That has absolutely nothing to do with Facebook or Twitter.
As we process the results of this election, I implore the masses to look inward instead of composing rants on social media. There is a flaw in the way our society processes anger and frustration. Social media is one big giant exhale – we spew out one opinion and react to others – without ever taking a moment to breathe and reflect. If the recent decline in Facebook stock means anything, perhaps the beast of social media is seeing the flaw in its own design.
When It Comes To Family and Politics: Ask Questions
In the final hours of the vote count when it was becoming clear that Trump would be the U.S. President-elect, I was struck by the media commentator conversation. Reporters were struggling to make sense of the results. They were trying desperately to understand why so many people would vote for a candidate who has been, by all accounts, a political wreck.
One reporter began speaking about history. How the results of this election were similar to that of the years just following the Industrial Revolution. Sociopolitical upheaval of this magnitude must be in part a result of a working class that is fighting against feeling left behind by the more modern Digital Revolution.
Of all the words that were thrown around last night, those stuck with me. These were votes of desperation.
I understand desperation. I understand wanting to return to a way of life in which one used to flourish. I understand fear of being forced into participating in a government structure you do not believe in. I get it.
The only way to find common understanding between people is to listen to another person’s reasoning. It means taking turns listening and speaking. It means not judging, pointing out the flaws in a person’s rationale, interrupting, and commenting on their reasoning. It means listening to where they’re coming from. And speaking your truth as well.
The only way to understand one another is by asking questions – and letting the answers be.
Have a Mediator
All of that, of course, is easier said than done. Sometimes it’s all but impossible to have a civil conversation when issues of such magnitude are at stake. And especially when half of the nation is still so raw in their loss of a result they thought was a sure bet.
Inviting a licensed family counselor to moderate political discussions within the family is a useful way to work through the issues stirred up by the election. It’s often more complicated than it might appear on the surface.
