Confidence Building in 10 Easy Steps

Discover the ten things you can do to build your confidence and write your life story daily.

Confidence is a character trait many want, but most aren’t sure how to achieve it.

Just like so many other things, people seek confidence and end up at one extreme or the other.

Some, when seeking confidence, become cocky, and others become doormats.

True confidence lies in the middle.

Years ago, if you had asked me if I were confident, I would have answered yes, without hesitation.

However, I learned that I wanted to think I was confident; however, my actions didn’t reflect confidence.

So, I want to share ten things I learned in my journey to build genuine confidence.

Keep reading to learn how to build your confidence today!

1. You can do it!

So many people simply don’t believe they can do it or are smart enough.

Everyone else is right, and they are wrong.

This can stem from being verbally put down by others all your life or not having someone cheering you on.

I am here to tell you – you can do it!

It may take time, it may take learning, it may be challenging, but you can do it.

It may also be simple; leave no stone unturned.

Learn from others.

Read quotes about loving yourself.

Whatever you do, ensure you don’t let someone else’s lack of confidence hinder yours.

Sometimes, there are many right answers – many different paths to the same destination.

Please do let the fact that you get there a different way from someone else break your confidence.

You can do it!

2. Confidence doesn’t come from others

Just like happiness, your confidence isn’t based on other people.

It comes from inside.

It would be best to learn to be confident in yourself, whether anyone else ever validates you.

This can be such a challenge.

We all seek validation from others, especially those close to us, like a parent or sibling.

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But sometimes, that person just doesn’t know how to give it.

If you are a person of faith, know that your validation comes from God.

He loves you no matter what.

And if you are not, know that you are here for a reason and a purpose.

Don’t let anyone ever tell you differently.

3. Victory!

You have two choices – you can be a victor or a victim.

Always be a victor.

It can be such a challenge when your world seems like it’s crumbling.

It can be a challenge when everyone around you is negative.

But you can do it.

You can be a victor in every situation.

That is what confidence is.

When you have a victim mentality, you do not have confidence.

Know that it will be okay, know that you’ve got this, know that even if something goes wrong, you will learn from this – be a victor, not a victim!

4. God only wants the best for you

Whether you are a person of faith or not, this is a true statement.

Sometimes it doesn’t seem that way because we can’t always see the end game.

We don’t always know why things are happening the way they are.

But if you embrace this concept – He only wants the best for you – you will always have confidence in any situation.

I read a story this week where a lady lost all three of her children in a house fire.

When people talked to her, she spoke about her faith and that this happened for a reason.

5. Your future is in your hands

As we discussed in item two, you control your destiny, not others.

Confidence will help you see that.

When I went to college, I minored in what my mother wanted me to.

I didn’t have the confidence to say that’s not for me.

I was so focused on what she wanted that I forgot what I wanted.

She loved me and only wanted the best for me, but my future was mine to design.

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When I built up my confidence, I was able to pay off over $200,000 in debt, start my own successful business and be my true authentic self.

Living an authentic life is the true sign of a confident person.

6. You never know

We often lack confidence simply because we don’t have the knowledge we need to be confident.

Knowledge is easy to get – it’s everywhere.

For example, if you aren’t confident in your money, thousands of knowledgeable people are out there to teach you what you need to know.

You simply have to be willing to get the information.

When you have information, you can have confidence – in yourself, your decisions, and your situations.

7. Your team is important

My Philadelphia Eagles won the Super Bowl this year for the first time.

They won because of their team – this was a special team who believed in each other and knew what it took to get the job done.

This team was confident that they could beat anyone, and they did.

If you want to be confident, you need a great team.

You need positive, confident people in your closest circle.

If your team is a little shaky right now, have the confidence to build a better team.

8. Let go of the baggage

If we have made bad decisions, having confidence in ourselves can be a challenge.

You must let go of your mistakes, learn from them, and move forward.

We all have baggage – we all have made decisions that we wish we wouldn’t have made, but how we react to them keeps our confidence in place.

If I had let my money decisions of the past define my future, I would still be sitting here broke and broken.

Instead, I learned from my past decisions how to make better ones, and I am now confident about money decisions.

Let it go!

9. Leave the past where it belongs

Now that you have learned from your mistakes, you must ensure you leave the past in the past.

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People will try to bring it up.

People will try to define every moment of your future by something you did in the past. Don’t let them.

I still have people who judge my money decisions even though I paid off over $200,000 worth of debt, run a successful business, continue to be debt free, have a 6-month emergency fund, retirement account, and pay cash for everything.

People see what they choose to see.

Don’t spend your time trying to convince them of your truth.

Live your life and leave the rest in the past where it belongs.

10. You are the author of your own story

Every day is a blank page in your story.

You are the author of your story – no one else.

With confidence, you can write your story every day.

You hold the pen – don’t give it away!

You are the author of your story – write a bestseller.

Confidence isn’t something that comes naturally.

We must work on it every day.

People will come along and try to take your confidence.

And most times, they won’t even know they are doing it.

It could be a tone, words, or an attitude.

Sometimes we give away our confidence by trying to please others.

Over several years, I learned each of the steps I discussed today.

And as I learned them, my confidence got stronger and stronger.

I still have to remind myself of these things daily, but when I do, I have the confidence to move mountains and live my authentic life.

What could be better?

What else do you do to build confidence?

Are there any other confidence-building techniques you would add to this list?

Do you have a personal story of going from little to no confidence to feeling fully secure in who you are?

Please share your thoughts and stories with us in the comment section!

Debbi King is a personal finance coach, motivational speaker and author of two award winning books “The ABC’s of Personal Finance” and “26 Weeks to Wealth and Financial Freedom”. She is also the owner of a national coaching firm, The ABC’s of Personal Finance.
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