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Only Murders in the Building is a mystery-comedy series on Hulu. It follows the story of three strangers who share a deep interest in true crime mysteries and suddenly find themselves at the center of one themselves.
Following a suspicious death of their neighbor in their apartment building, the trio decides to solve the mysteries themselves and document it in their very own podcast.
This series features an exciting mix of characters that blends well with the story. It created a pleasant comedic atmosphere throughout the show and maintained the mystery and thrill perfect for a true crime story.
These Only Murders in the Building quotes will make you eager for more true-crime podcasts.
Don’t forget to also check out these mysterious Big Little Lies quotes for fans of the series.
Only Murders in the Building quotes from Oliver
1. “What a terrific god-damned finale this is going to be.” — Oliver
2. “I’ve had worse injuries shucking oysters.” — Oliver
3. “No one wants a murder podcast about real estate!” — Oliver
4. “You are scoring a murder mystery, not DJing a hobbit’s wedding.” — Oliver
5. “As I said to Paula Abdul during our production of Hedda Gabler, we’ve got to start thinking outside the box here.” — Oliver
6. “Oh, my God, the twists and turns of this are unbelievable. It’s like a rainbow crafted by a drunken leprechaun.” — Oliver
7. “This is exactly like Die Hard!” — Oliver
8. “Rock icon Sting is a dog-poisoning murderer. He’s like the next OJ. A hot, Buddhist OJ.” — Oliver
9. “We’re the heroes of this building. Before us, you could be killed in your own apartment, and no one would know it.” — Oliver
10. “We blend in by standing out.” — Oliver
11. “That’s really all we want, isn’t it? More time with the people we love.” — Oliver
12. “Stay out of the theater if you want a life. Trust me.” — Oliver
13. “Sometimes you do have to make a mess to clean one up.” — Oliver
Only Murders in the Building quotes from Charles
14. “I’ve fallen in love with so many dead people.” — Charles
15. “Even the elevator wanted that story to end.” — Charles
16. “A cat never really leaves you, because they transmit parasites.” — Charles
17. “Sometimes it’s easier to figure out someone else’s secret than it is to deal with your own.” — Charles
18. “How was the chillin’ in Washington Square Park? Was it, like, so chill? Did you chill it up so hard?” — Charles
19. “You know, it’s a law of nature. Nothing good ever happens on Long Island.” — Charles
20. “It’s money time, baby. Payday is here and check is in the mail.” — Charles
21. “She’s not a kid. We only think she’s a kid because we’re old.” — Charles
22. “You know, I’m thinking of putting myself out there again. I mean, I slept with a murderer! That is a great story to tell on a first date.” — Charles
23. “We need to focus. Only murders in the building.” — Charles
24. “I’m so on board with this. Because this is how I’m gonna fill the rest of my days with hobbies, and my hobby is solving murders.” — Charles
25. “I mean, you’re insane, but that’s usually who people want to follow.” — Charles
26. “People who don’t pay their building fees are the worst. It makes the rest of ours go up.” — Charles
27. “Excuse me. I have been dating decades longer than you’ve been alive, and I’m especially expert at first dates. Because that’s what I mostly have.” — Charles
28. “Every true crime story is actually true for someone.” — Charles
29. “The crying is covering the dialogue.” — Charles
Only Murders in the Building quotes from Mabel
30. “I’m totally migraining, you guys meet the sea witch without me.” — Mabel
31. “Can I just stream it later and spare myself?” — Mabel
32. “I can’t tell if you’re acting or not.” — Mabel
33. “Seventy is the new forty.” — Mabel
34. “Women who knock rarely make history.” — Mabel
35. “I mean, a murderer probably lives in the building, but I guess old white guys are only afraid of colon cancer and societal change.” — Mabel
36. “Is it cancer? I just need to know how invested I should get in you. You don’t adopt a 20-year-old dog.” — Mabel
37. “He was alone. Isn’t that enough to make us care?” — Mabel
38. “As I said it’s a lot. Don’t be here if you don’t like a lot.” — Mabel
39. “It’s a place that makes you binge dateline so you don’t end up on dateline.” — Mabel
Only Murders in the Building quotes from Jan
40. “Sadly I will not be seeing you bassooner or later.” — Jan
41. “I’d like to point out that when I offered to help, everyone sent me home to get stabbed.” — Jan
42. “I’m a sucker for lonely guys with notable age differences I meet on elevators.” — Jan
43. “You know, the sharing of stories is kind of transactional. When someone gives you a story, you owe them one of equal or greater value in return.” — Jan
44. “ I’m going to stop you before you accidentally say I’m not sexy.” — Jan
45. “Do I wanna break into a dead guy’s apartment and go through all his shit? Sounds like an afternoon.” — Jan
Which of these Only Murders in the Building quotes is your favorite?
The show easily exceeded the fans’ expectations. In an age where everybody loves a true crime story, this series provided an exciting and hilarious adventure to a topic that everyone wants to know about.
In addition, audiences love how the story builds up to justify each character’s actions and personality to create unique yet relatable characters.
As the series progressed, the trio learned to trust each other regardless of their age difference and perspective in life. They learn to use their individual strength and skills to fill in their gaps to solve the murder in their building.
Share these Only Murders in the Building quotes and sayings with your friends, and let’s all hope that this series will get another season!
January 24, 2022 7:00 AM EST