20 Hilarious Robert California Quotes

Check out these Robert California quotes for some quick laughs.

Robert California is a fictional character in the comedy series The Office.

Played by James Spader, Robert California is a brilliant, sarcastic narcissist who sees people as pawns.

Although Robert California only appears in seasons 7 & 8, his intense personality and cringeworthy decisions leave a lasting impression on the audience.

Robert becomes the Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin.

He then quickly rises above that position as he becomes the company’s CEO.

He continues to use his workers against each other, treating one group as the “winners’ and everyone else as the “losers.”

Check out these Robert California quotes to learn more about this controversial character.

If you enjoy this article, check out our collection of hilarious Andy Bernard quotes.

Arrogant Robert California quotes

Robert California was smart and talented, and he was very arrogant about it, as evidenced by the quotes below.

1. “I’m the fking lizard king.”  Robert California

2. “I am never uncomfortable.”  Robert California

3. “You don’t work in sales, do you.” — Robert California

4. “I know you now, your nature. I’m done.”  Robert California

5. “Winners, prove me right. Losers, prove me wrong.”  Robert California

6. “That business can’t attract anyone. It’s awful up there.”  Robert California

7. “I saw an episode of how they make paper on Sesame Street.”  Robert California

8. “Do you feel heard right now, Jim? Do you have a voice right now?”  Robert California

9. “You wanna start a street fight with me, bring It on, but you’re gonna be surprised by how ugly It gets.”  Robert California

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10. “You’ll find the customers will pay our higher prices, and then they will thank us, and we will say to them “you are welcome.”  Robert California

Memorable Robert California quotes

Robert California is a callous man, as shown in these quotes.

11. “That was your choice, not mine.”  Robert California

12. “I’m afraid you’ve lost my interest.”  Robert California

13. “Will you have a voice? Will I steamroll over you?”  Robert California

14. “Do I look like someone who would waste my own time?” — Robert California

15. “If I invited you to lunch, I think you’re a winner. If I didn’t, I don’t.”  Robert California

16. “There’s something about an underdog That really inspires the unexceptional.”  Robert California

17. “Erin, when you recount your day, never say you woke up. That’s a waste of your time.”  Robert California

18. “Everything… is sex. You understand That what I’m telling you is a universal truth… Toby.”  Robert California

19. “For Lydia and Her husband had had an argument, one they couldn’t get past. Each night, they slept one inch farther apart, until one night, Lydia left.”  Robert California

20. “I’ll tell you something I find unproductive. Constantly worrying about where you stand based on inscrutable social cues, and then inevitably reframing It all in a reassuring way so That you can get to sleep at night.”  Robert California

Go after what you want

One thing we can learn from the character Robert California is that you need to go after the things you want.

As soon as he was hired as Regional Manager, he took one look at his workplace and then drove to Florida to see the CEO and convinced her to let him have her job.

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