These hilarious quotes from the iconic television show The Office will crack up your friends!
The hit TV show The Office is a fan favorite known for its memorable characters, wild antics, and hilarious quotes.
Whether you’re enjoying the series for the first time or binge-watching your favorite episodes again, these lines are guaranteed to make you laugh.
Who’s your favorite character from The Office?
Since The Office will be leaving Netflix at the start of 2020, the perfect time to tune in is right now. This show will make you laugh, cry, and fall in love with the entire cast.
The Office is loaded with comedy gold, funny quotes, and relatable moments. In fact, it was named one of the 100 greatest television shows of all time by Rolling Stone magazine in 2016.
There’s something for everyone to enjoy, whether you’re a fan of Jim, Dwight, or Kelly. Turn on the TV and take a trip to Dunder Mifflin Paper Company to watch the goofy and heartwarming tales unfold.
Relive the funniest moments of the show and share some laughs.
Funny The Office Quotes Worthy of The Dundie Awards
1. “I talk a lot, so I learn to tune myself out.” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling)
2. “When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson)
3. “Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.” – Stanley Hudson (Leslie David Baker)
4. “I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling)
5. “The Taliban is the worst. Great heroin though.” – Creed Bratton
6. “I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.” – Creed Bratton (Creed Bratton)
7. “If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.” – Michael Scott (see more Michael Scott quotes)
8. “Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)
9. “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)
10. “I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)
The Office quotes that will make your day
11. “How are you not murdered every hour?” – Andy Bernard (Ed Helms)
12. “I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)
13. “Nothing stresses me out. Except having to seek the approval of my inferiors.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson)
14. “Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling)
15. “I am Beyonce, always.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)
16. “You guys I’m like really smart now. You don’t even know.” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling)
17. “Mistletoe is not an excuse for sexual assault.” – Andy Bernard (Ed Helms)
18. “There is no such thing as an appropriate joke, that’s why it’s a joke.” – Ryan Howard (B.J. Novak)
19. “It’s better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally than by a stranger on purpose.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson)
20. “I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)
21. “I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before … try.” – Jim Halpert (John Krasinski)
Also check out these funny Stranger Things quotes from the television series.
Funny The Office quotes from your favorite characters
22. “Ultimatums are key. Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling)
23. “I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.” – Pam Beesly (Jenna Fischer)
24. “I don’t come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. You wouldn’t arrest the guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)
25. “Why are all these people here? There’s too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson)
Which funny quote from The Office is your favorite?
If you’re a fan of the hilarious TV show The Office, these lines are guaranteed to make you laugh. The series is full of great one-liners, silly sayings, and monologues of pure comedic genius.
Keep these funny quotes in mind the next time you’re looking for a good show to binge watch over the weekend.
These quotes from The Office prove that the series is one of the best shows to ever grace television. Each episode is packed full of moments to make us laugh and cry.
With an incredible cast, hilarious writing, and memorable quotes, it’s no surprise that the show is so popular. Share these quotes with a fan of The Office to make them smile!
August 3, 2022 3:37 AM EST