There’s no denying that laughter is the best medicine. What’s better than a big beautiful smile? These funny sarcastic quotes should help you spend a few minutes laughing out loud.
Life can be downright stressful. There are relationships to maintain, bills to pay, a job that demands your attention, and other crises both big and small that can pop up at any time. It’s easy to get burnt out after you’ve had a day full of drama.
While sarcasm humor tends to have a slightly meaner tone to it, it can be just the thing you need when you’ve spent the whole day biting your tongue and keeping yourself in check. Feel free to indulge as you let yourself relax.
Below is our collection of funny motivational quotes and sayings that will lighten your day.
Funny sarcastic quotes about relationships
1. “If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married you can’t even change the TV Channel.” – Unknown
2. “True bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing.” – Unknown
3. “At every party, there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” – Ann Landers
4. “You never realize how truly sarcastic you are until you have a mini-me who acts the same way.” – Unknown
5. “My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.” – Unknown
6. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. A. Milne
7. “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” - Kin Hubbard
8. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
9. “Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense.” –Unknown
10. “An apple a day keeps anything away if you throw it hard enough.” –Unknown
Funny sarcastic quotes about life
11. “When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot Twist” and move on.” – Unknown
12. “Come here you big, beautiful cup of coffee and lie to me about how much we’re going to get done today.” – Unknown
13. “I hate it when I think I’m buying organic vegetables but when I get home, I discover they’re just regular donuts.” – Unknown
14. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”- Unknown
15. “I am not young enough to know everything.” – Oscar Wilde
16. “What we feel and think and are is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and viscera.” – Aldous Huxley
17. “When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work.” – Unknown
18. “Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.” –Unknown
19. “Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” – Cynthia Nelms
20. “An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.” – Robert Oppenheimer
21. “They say each day is a gift! Well, I want to know where customer service is so I can return this one!!” – Unknown
22. “It’s amazing how you can have to worst day ever, but still laugh at yourself when you push a door that says pull. – Unknown
23. “Need money for college. Need college for a job. Need a job for money. Who was the mastermind behind this system?” – Unknown
24. “My attitude in exams. They give me questions I don’t know. I give them answers they don’t know.” – Unknown
Also check out these famous witty quotes that will give you a motivational push as well as a bit of humor.
Funny sarcastic quotes for whenpeople are stressing you out
25. “Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!” — Billy Connolly
26. “I’m sorry. I was listening until, out of nowhere, I became distracted by this loud, obnoxious noise that turned out to be your voice.” – Unknown
27. “Don’t you hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious?” – Unknown
28. “I always say “Morning” Instead of “Good Morning” Because if it was a good morning, I would still be in bed and not talking to people.” – Unknown
29. “You know what I like about people? Their dogs.” – Unknown
30. “I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.” – Unknown
31. “Repeating quotes from funny movies doesn’t make you funny.” –Unknown
32. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of Steven Wright quotes to make you laugh.
33. “Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.” – Walter Kerr
34. “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.” –Unknown
35. “Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.” – Unknown
36. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.” – Unknown
Funny sarcastic quotes about work
37. “I send pointless emails late at night to impress coworkers.” – Unknown
38. “Please submit your ideas to me today so I can submit them as my own tomorrow.” – Unknown
39. “There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.” – Unknown
40. “Sometimes I have my headphones in at work with nothing playing so I don’t have to interact with chatty co-workers.” – Unknown
41. “I always tell new hires, ‘Don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.’” – Unknown
42. “Thanks for calling me to tell me that you just sent me an email.” –Unknown
43. “I don’t always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I’m probably at work.” – Unknown
44. “Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.” –Unknown
45. “I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to come home from work tomorrow.” – Unknown
46. “Don’t mistake my efficiency as meaning I want to do your job, too.” –Unknown
Also read these laughter quotes and sayings proving why it’s the best medicine.
Funny sarcastic quotes aboutsarcasm
47. “Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile.” – Mahmoud Darwish
48. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.” – Unknown
49. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest.” – Oscar Wilde
50. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.” – Billy Wilder
51. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
52. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln
53. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” – Fred Allen
54. “The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.” – Oscar Wilde
55. “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw
56. “Don’t be humble… you’re not that great.” – Golda Meir
57. “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” – Napoleon Bonaparte
58. “Sarcasm is the protest of the weak.” – John Knowles
59. “He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde
60. “A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.” – Lawrence G. Lovasik
Did you enjoy these sarcastic quotes?
You need to laugh in life. It helps to reduce stress and fight things like anxiety and depression by keeping your mood light. Everyone has those rough days when maybe your temper gets the best of you or people are pushing your buttons. These are the days when you need to laugh the most.
Your natural inclination might be to hold in your negative or difficult emotions or lash out at others. But those responses are not good for you (or others). Sometimes enjoying the right sarcastic joke can help you take a more positive attitude through the trying times in life.
Did you enjoy these sarcastic quotes? Which of the quotes made your day? Let us know in the comment section below.
October 27, 2019 2:19 PM EST