25 Best Arrested Development Quotes, Lessons in What NOT to Do

If you loved the show, you will love this collection of funny Arrested Development quotes!

While there is no arguing that the television show Arrested Development is hilarious (and if you are arguing, you are not in on the joke), I like to think of it as a humorous, cautionary tale.

It has lessons about family, integrity, success, honesty, and where we should draw the line to get ahead.

It shows us there are very different definitions of success, and that we can have extraordinary success in the most reputable of ways.

Although, if we can take anything from them – besides doing the opposite of what most of they do – it is to do things in life with a sense of humor about ourselves, and a willingness to pick ourselves up each time we fall down.

If you enjoyed the show, here are 100 of their greatest sayings.

Check out our most popular quote article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily inspiration.

Check out our inspirational quotes category page for more inspirational life quotes.

The Best Arrested Development One-Liners

1. “I’m a monster!” — Buster (don’t we feel like that some mornings?)

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2. “There’s always money in the banana stand.” — George Sr. (sometimes we should take things literally)

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3. “And that’s why you always leave a note.” — J Walter Weatherman (a lesson to remember)

4. “Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I’d answer.” – Tobias (tape recorder)

5. “I’ve made a huge mistake.” — GOB, and just about everyone else (so true)

6. “I suppose I’m buy-curious.” – Tobias (another argument for the tape recorder)

7. “You must teach me, George Michael. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh.” – Ann (it is likely not worth begging for Ann)

8. “You’re going to get some hop-ones.” – Michael, about the stair car (perspective and acceptance)

9. “Yes, he’s lost his left hand, so he’s going to be ‘all right.'” – Doctor (another example of thinking about what you say before you say it)

10. “This family is not about to start using. We are pushers, not takers.” – Tobias (not a bad lesson, in the right context)

11. [Crying] I just want my brother to envy my money, but he’s got that hair. Why can’t I have hair and money, and him nothing? – George Sr. (on trying to find what us unique and strong in each of us)

12. First of all, we’re doing this for her. Okay? Because neither one of us wants to get divorced. And second, I know you’re the big marriage expert. Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot. Your wife is dead. – Tobias, to Michael (on terrible comebacks and arguments)

13. Oh now you love the Ten Commandments. Yet, you’re the one who so conveniently forgot “Thou shalt protect thy father and honor no one above him unless it be-it me, thy sweet Lord.” – Gob, to Michael (know your quotes when trying to land a point).

14. Trevor: It’s not your fault your parents were cousins, but here we are. I’ve been charged with taking care of you, and I’m bloody well going to do it.

15. Maybe it was the 11 months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus but, he was our miracle baby. I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care so, he turned out a little soft, you know, a little doughy. I don’t know, maybe it was my fault, maybe I ignored the guy. – George Sr., speaking to Michael about Buster, who is sitting right next to them (again, things you don’t say in front of your children)

16. Gob: Let me ask you something. Is this a business decision, or is it personal? Cause if it’s business I’ll go away happily. But if it’s personal, I’ll go away… but I won’t be happy. (Blatant honesty)

17. Rita: Well, Michael will be my cousin soon enough, cause we’re getting married! (Think before you speak)

18. Michael: I *deceived* you. “Tricked” makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. 

19. Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money. – Gob (on the subtle differences we have to be careful not to overlook)

Greatest Arrested Development Quotes

20. When Michael Bluth found a bag in the freezer saying, “Dead Dove. Do not eat.” “I don’t know what I expected.”

21. “Oh it’s so cute. She sometimes takes a little pack of mayonnaise and she’ll squirt it in her mouth all over and then she’ll take an egg and kind of mmm mmm. She calls it a mayonegg.” – George Michael to Michael, about Ann (don’t judge, to each their own)

22. George Sr. [to Michael]: All right, now look, just because a woman gets pregnant doesn’t mean you have to marry her. Too many lives have been ruined because some cheap waitress at a HoJo said she used an I.U.D.

23. Lucille: It was Stuckey’s.

24. George Sr.: But I believed you! (Conversations you should not have in front of your children)

25. Well, I will tell you this, Michael. I don’t have a son (Narrator: He does), but if I ever do, I’m either going to take him to the cabin in the woods, or I’m going to promise to take him and then not take him. But the one thing that I will never do, is not tell him that I’m taking him to a cabin in the woods and then not take him! – Gob (on broken promises)

Did you find your favorite Arrested Development quotes here?

I hope that you enjoyed reading these Arrested Development quotes, as much as I enjoyed finding them.

Remember that there are lessons and inspiration all around us, and if it can even be found in a humorous outlet now and then, all the better!