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Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events Quotes From The Absurd Franchise

These A Series of Unfortunate Events quotes are taken from multiple books in the series.

Lemony Snicket’s, A Series of Unfortunate Events, is a series of thirteen children’s novels written by American author Daniel Handler (using the pen name Lemony Snicket).

Snicket maintains that despite the story’s absurdity at times, it is based on a true story, even going so far as to say it is his “duty to record it.”

Lemony Snicket is the narrator, and each of his works is dedicated to his deceased love interest, Beatrice. He often attempts to convince the reader from reading the story. The books follow the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire after their parents die in a fire.

The children’s murderous relative, Count Olaf, is awarded custody of the siblings. He attempts to steal their inheritance. When that fails, he enlists the help of accomplices to orchestrate ludicrous disasters as the children try to run away.

The Baudelaire children are met with further mysteries surrounding their family and deep conspiracies involving a secret society known as V.F.D. The V.F.D. have connections to Olaf, their parents, and several other relatives.

Keep reading for some of the best A series of Unfortunate Events quotes from all your favorite characters.

Don’t forget to also check out these Self Reliance quotes from Ralph Waldo Emerson’s transcendentalist essay.

Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events quotes from Books 1 & 2

1. “I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

2. “They didn’t understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t so.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

3. “Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

4. “If you have ever lost a loved one, then you know exactly how it feels. And if you have not, then you cannot possibly imagine it.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

5. “There are many, many types of books in the world, which makes good sense, because there are many, many types of people, and everybody wants to read something different.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

6. “This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Reptile Room

7. “Waiting is one of life’s hardships.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Reptile Room

8. “There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your head.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Reptile Room

9. “It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Reptile Room

10. “Sometimes, even in the most unfortunate of lives, there will occur a moment or two of good fortune.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Reptile Room

Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events quotes from Books 3 & 4

11. “If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

12. “For some stories, it’s easy. The moral of ‘The Three Bears,’ for instance, is “Never break into someone else’s house.’ The moral of ‘Snow White’ is ‘Never eat apples.’ The moral of World War I is ‘Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

13. “There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

14. “Just because something is typed-whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book-this does not mean that it is true.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

15. “Tears are curious things, for like earthquakes or puppet shows, they can occur at any time, without any warning and without any good reason.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

16. “I’m sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much and that it is what’s on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on this inside would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Miserable Mill

17. “If you have ever had a miserable experience, then you have probably had it said to you that you would feel better in the morning. This, of course, is utter nonsense, because a miserable experience remains a miserable experience even on the loveliest of morning.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Miserable Mill

18. “Sometime during your life—in fact, very soon—you may find yourself reading a book, and you may notice that a book’s first sentence can often tell you what sort of story your book contains.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Miserable Mill

19. “Raisins are healthy, and they are inexpensive, and some people may even find them delicious. But they are rarely considered helpful.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Miserable Mill

20. “The word “dreadful,” even when used three times in a row, did not seem like a dreadful enough word to describe everything that had happened.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Miserable Mill

Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events quotes from Books 5 & 6

21. “There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy

22. “Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy

23. “Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy

24. “In times of extreme stress, one can often find energy hidden in even the most exhausted areas of the body.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy

25. “It looked exhausting and pointless, two things that should be avoided at all costs” ― Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy

26. “If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator

27. “The table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator

28. “Every problem has a solution. Sometimes it just takes a long time to find the solution — even if it’s right in front of your nose.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator

29. “Sometimes words are not enough. There are some circumstances so utterly wretched that I cannot describe them in sentences or paragraphs or even a whole series of books.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator

30. “Morning is one of the best times for thinking. When one has just woken up, but hasn’t yet gotten out of bed, it is a perfect time to look up at the ceiling, consider one’s life, and wonder what the future will hold.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator

Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events quotes from Books 7 & 8

31. “It is true, of course, that there is no way of knowing for sure whether or not you can trust someone, for the simple reason that circumstances change all of the time.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Vile Village

32. “It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Vile Village

33. “If you are baking a pie for your friends, and you read an article entitled ‘How to Build a Chair’ instead of a cookbook, you pie will probably end up tasting like wood and nails instead of like crust and fruity filling.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Vile Village

34. “If you refuse to entertain a baby cousin, the baby cousin may get bored and entertain itself by wandering off and falling down a well. If you refuse to entertain a pack of hyenas, they may become restless and entertain themselves by devouring you.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Vile Village

35. “And if you jump for joy, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful bump on the head, unless you make sure you are standing someplace with very high ceilings, which joyous people rarely do.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Vile Village

36. “The sad truth is the truth is sad.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital

37. “But sometimes it takes only a photograph and a sentence to make an author cry himself to sleep even years after the photograph was taken.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital

38. “There are many reasons, of course, why someone might snap their fingers and grin. If you heard some pleasing music, for instance, you might snap your fingers and grin to demonstrate that the music had charms that could soothe your savage breast. If you were employed as a spy, you might snap your fingers and grin in order to deliver a message in secret snapping-and-grinning code.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital

39. “In my opinion, children should be seen and not heard. I’m an adult, so it follows that I should be heard and not seen. That’s why I work exclusively over the intercom.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital

40. “A cheerful attitude is the most effect tool against sickness.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital

Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events quotes from Books 9 & 10

41. “Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Carnivorous Carnival

42. “Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Carnivorous Carnival

43. “There are almost as many kinds of libraries as there are kinds of readers.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Carnivorous Carnival

44. “There are some things we might not know, but that doesn’t mean we should give up. We can find out what we need to know. We can find out everything” ― Lemony Snicket, The Carnivorous Carnival

45. “It is hard for decent people to stay angry at someone who has burst into tears, which is why it is often a good idea to burst into tears if a decent person is yelling at you.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Carnivorous Carnival

46. “Well-read people are less likely to be evil.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

47. “It is always tedious when someone tells you that if you don’t stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying then you already have something to cry about, and so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

48. “Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean that it’s nonsense.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

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49. “It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

50. “It is one of the peculiar truths of life that people often say things that they know full well are ridiculous.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

What did you learn from these A Series of Unfortunate Events quotes?

The books are noted for their dark humor, sarcastic storytelling, and anachronistic elements. They are characterized by Victorian Gothic tones and absurdist textuality and also use frequent cultural and literary illusions to describe the story.

The stories explore many themes including the psychological process of transitioning from the innocence of childhood to the moral complexity of maturity. In short, adulting is hard and takes a toll on us!

Lemony Snicket’s works are often classified as postmodern and metafictional writing. As the reader makes their way into the final installments, the story becomes more ethically ambiguous.

In the beginning, it was easy to see the Baudelaires as the good guys, but their actions near the end of the books become harder to distinguish from their antagonist counterparts. The first book was so popular, it helped to create an entire media franchise.

There is a movie, a video game, merchandise, and even a Netflix series. Snicket also produced several companion books, including Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography, The Beatrice Letters, and the noir prequel tetralogy All the Wrong Questions, which chronicles Snicket’s childhood.

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What’s your biggest takeaway from these A Series of Unfortunate Events quotes and lines? Do you have a favorite character or quote from the stories? Let us know about it using the comment section below!

Danielle Dahl, Lead Contributor
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