It is easier for us to sit comfortably in denial with our delusions and hope that someone – or something – will intervene with our problems. More often than not, we’d rather complain about our worries and self-doubt than tune in to what it is trying to tell us.
We are given common sense and intuition. However, we don’t like how it makes us feel; so we continue to live in a world of self-deception.
Doubts don’t kill dreams, self-delusional thoughts and false hopes do. Many of us are willing to re-wire our senses, short-circuit our instincts, and turn a deaf ear to our intelligence as we accept the seductive comfort of self-delusion.
Babbling Monsters and Negative Mind Chatter
Our half-beliefs and uncertain thoughts are trying to tell us something very important. It is our responsibility to listen up.
These painful and doubtful feelings that we really want to ignore, are urging us to tune into the negative mind chatter.
While most of us tend to drown out the worry, anxiety, and concern, let’s find out what happens when instead of tuning out self-doubt, we give it a respectful ear.
What is your self-doubt trying to tell you?
These symptoms of self-doubt are your ruminating thoughts and painful feelings. There are several things your self-doubt might be trying to help you acknowledge.
First, there is guilt. The regret we feel.
Perhaps we should have made the call earlier, finished the work with more enthusiasm, given more effort, stayed just a little longer, paid more attention, etc.
Questions to ask yourself: Do you have your priorities straight? Are you doing what is most important to you and to those you love?
What tasks are you ignoring? What work are you overlooking?
Are you focused on what is best for all? What should you take care of NOW?
Is your self-doubt trying to help you recognize your disappointment? Maybe, you’re feeling defeated, let down, and about to throw in the towel.
Questions to ask yourself: How have you let others down? Are you treating others and yourself in a caring and thoughtful way?
What have you neglected to do? Who have you ignored?
What important projects have you disregarded? Self-doubt might also be revealing your feelings of irrelevancy.
Your work doesn’t matter and neither do you. You have nothing to contribute and don’t understand how quickly everything is changing.
Questions to ask yourself: Are you continuing to keep up with your skills? Have you worked on your discipline and will to devote your days to learning and growing?
Will your work actually result in a positive impact? Does it enhance the lives of others?
If not, what might you do instead?
Coping with feelings of inadequacy and other remnants of self-doubt
Inadequacy is another feeling brought about by self-doubt. This happens when you feel like you’re just not doing enough.
Or maybe your work doesn’t compare to the achievement of others.
Questions to ask yourself: Are you practicing what you preach? Do you go our of your way to be loving, patient, and compassionate?
Could you try a bit harder? Can you push your ego to the side for just a bit and discover how you can recover?
Feeling like you are undeserving is another symptom of self-doubt. Maybe, your life doesn’t feel like it should.
Something is missing. You are lonely and you wish for more and you are worried you are unworthy.
Questions to ask yourself: What are you not doing enough of? How can you bring more value to your work?
Where are you actually needed? What more can you contribute?
How can you get there?
We Have Real Work To Do
Worry and self-doubt remind us that we have real work to do. They remind us we need to improve.
Self-doubt and worry harass us to rectify the problems in our lives so we can move forward with our heads up high. They command us to get up and get going.
Sometimes they quietly whisper to us and other times, anxiously cry out to us in the middle of the night. Our worries are telling us we are not finished.
We can and we should become more…thoughtful…honest…intelligent…loving…patient…wise…compassionate…empathetic…
When we don’t ask questions and investigate our feelings associated with anxiety, worry, and self-doubt, we end up uncertain. Sometimes, we are frozen with fear, which in turn manifests into more worry and anxiety.
It is when we question our ruminating and alarming emotions of pain that we can deeply improve. We must listen, question, and then bravely take appropriate action.
These feelings don’t have to overwhelm us. Instead of trying to drown them in alcohol, drugs, or even yoga and meditation, we must bravely face our self-doubt and worry each day.
Facing the Absolute Truth About Ourselves: Why Worrying and Self Doubt is Actually Wonderful
It’s okay to question your talent, your skills, and your ability to progress and succeed in all aspects of your life. For when you do, you face the truth about yourself – and the truth will set you free.
When you turn worry into wonder, you become free to improve your skills. This freedom enables you to progress forward by adapting a persistence cycle of learning, experimenting, and self-revision.
Suddenly, you become open to conquering your deepest fears. You will be less self-destructive and complacent and you will grow.
Question Your Imagined Self-Importance
It begins by putting an end to your self-delusion. You must stop seeing only what you want to see.
This is a step in the best direction. With self-discipline, you bust through your attentional bias and break through your tendency to hold on to your old recurring thoughts.
You cut through your current beliefs. The positive benefits of questioning our doubts are remarkable.
Here is what begins to happen when you listen to your worry and self-doubt:
1. You Work Harder and Achieve More
Those who question their talent and skill level actually work harder and achieve more. Never to rest on their laurels, they take that self-doubt and translate it into a stronger work ethic and more disciplined action.
For they know that mediocrity will never do. They are capable of something so much better.
You see, when you make room for any number of possibilities, you become much more realistic about your life. You are in touch with reality – and reality is your friend.
2. You Take Absolutely Nothing for Granted
You become less resentful, less bitter. There is an internal belief that things can be better, and you know what you have to do to make them that way.
You know you can’t stay dormant. Being grateful for all the things you have becomes more important.
You find it easier to uncover the real problems.
3. You Attract and Allow Compassion and Love
You become more sensitive, self-compassionate, and empathetic towards yourself and others. Your friends, family, and people you’ve never met before are drawn to your humility.
You open a door to your heart for them to enter.
4. You Begin to See Just Where You Are Compromising
You re-define what it means to be successful for you. Simultaneously, you realize where you surrendered and compromised too much.
You recognize the fact that you can raise your standards and ask for more. You take back some control and begin to own your life.
In this moment, you know what you need to remove from your life in order to move forward. You begin to let things go that no longer serve you well.
Maybe, you realize that you have been lazy and accepting less than you actually need. You know now, when the preferable is not available, the available becomes preferable.
No more of that for you.
5. Become Really Comfortable with the Unknown
Fear of the new and the changing world doesn’t bother you anymore. You give up some control and at the same time, you prepare more for the future.
Maybe, you begin to sail through uncharted territories as you experiment and learn more about what lies ahead. The ability to adjust, adapt, and react with a curious mind, enables you to commit to change.
6. Don’t Believe Your Own BS
Deep down you will always be learning. You know that a simple pep talk is mere bullsh*t.
A nonsensical quote about following your “passion” makes you laugh. You begin to understand where you really need to improve and find ways to get the work done.
For we realize, we don’t want to think about our weaknesses. We don’t want to talk about them, and we certainly don’t want anyone else to point them out.
But we can’t improve until we do.
7. Stay Committed to the Cause
You go back to the drawing board, admit your mistakes, and stay committed. One lesson you learn is that there are no half measures, you are all in.
You respect yourself for this honest engagement and others look up to you for it.
8. Stop Making Excuses and Become More Successful
You stop thinking of setbacks and you start showing up. Maybe, you make work greater than you thought you ever could because you listened to the rational self-critic, the one who knew that the old you weren’t up to snuff.
You don’t avoid things and begin to welcome challenges. Stop focusing on what you can’t do and start getting into solutions about what you can do.
You raise your standards and demand more from yourself. Now, you get more out of life.
Screw self-praise and pep talks. In the words of Robert Hughes: “Confidence is the prize given to the mediocre.”
Embrace the feelings that keep you humble and on your toes. You will always wrestle with them.
Listen to your worry and self-doubt. Anxiety and worry should push us to power on, to move forward, and to hone our skills, better our behavior, and become an improved version of our former selves.
Self-doubt should not break us down. Worry and anxiety must prompt us to take inventory.
List what must be done and then take deliberate action. Self-doubt will dissipate and melt away with each attempt you make, every measure you take, every routine you practice, and each habit you build.
For the stronger you will feel, the more confident you become. Taking action to improve your behavior will soothe away the worry and concern.