50 Witty Quips And Quotes to Have a Laugh At

Add some joy to your life with our hilarious selections of quips and quotes. 

Humans have been developing clever quips since we could make witty comebacks and one-liners. 

Even cave people sarcastically used grunts to drive home a humorous point. 

Let’s learn more about quips! 

What is a quip?

A quip can come in many forms, but the definition of a quip is a witty, funny observation usually made in the spur of the moment. 

Creating a quip takes imagination, wit, humor, and fantastic timing. 

Check out these interesting facts about why a sense of humor is essential: 

• A sense of humor is vital to strong leadership skills. 
• People with a sense of humor are considered more attractive. 
• A strong sense of humor improves mental and physical health.

When someone makes a snarky comment or chooses to be sarcastic, it often comes as a quip. 

Those witty remarks that poke fun at someone, something, or a particular situation are the quips that allow people to lighten up and not take things so seriously. 

Is there a science to humor?

Many people joke that explaining a joke ruins the joke. 

Ironically, scientists spend time trying to explain the science of humor and how it works. 

There are three theories that scientists have identified that attempt to explain why humor works the way it does. 

In Superiority theory, scientists suggest that humor becomes a way of declaring one’s superiority over another. 

Laughing at the misfortune of another may not be the kindest thing in the world to do, but it can provide a slew of opportunities to laugh. 

The second humor theory, Incongruity theory, suggests that humor results from contrasting ideas. 

This is why people laugh when they see animals in silly outfits or people who are out of place in a situation. 

Lastly, scientists note that Relief theory is a form of humor humans employ to blow off steam or release tension. 

Quips are flexible because they can fit into these theories and still hit the mark. 

While scientists have attempted to “understand” humor, it is evident to most people that humor is something we have; it cannot necessarily be taught. 

Of course, you can teach a person about humorous subjects, help them with their timing in a joke, or show them practical ways to deliver a punchline, but that is not the same as teaching someone humor. 

Many people use electricity every day and have no idea how it works on a practical level. 

You do not need to understand electricity to make use of it. 

Perhaps humor, like many mysteries of the universe, is something that is meant to be experienced and not understood. 

For more exciting content, check out our quips and quotes below. 

You might also like these joke quotes!

Short quips and quotes about life

These quips and quotes are short and sweet yet full of wisdom about life. 

1. “He who hesitates is a damned fool.” — Mae West

2. “In the end, everything is a gag.” — Charlie Chaplin 

3. “Logic is in the eye of the logician.” — Gloria Steinem

4. “When ideas fail, words come in very handy.” — Goethe 

5. “I am not young enough to know everything.” — Oscar Wilde 

6. “No one can earn a million dollars honestly.” — William Jennings Bryan 

7. “A man can’t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.” — Oscar Wilde 

8. “Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.” — John F. Kennedy 

9. “Everything has been figured out, except how to live.” — Jean-Paul Sartre 

10. “It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.” — George Bernard Shaw 

The best quips, quotes, and wise sayings to make you smile

These quips and quotes will make you smile once you read them. 

11. “Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson 

12. “There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” — George Bernard Shaw 

13. “I don’t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.” — Katherine Cebrian

14. “Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.” — Martin Farquhar Tupper

15. “It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.” — Oscar Wilde 

16. “I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here written all over it.” — Steven Wright

17. “Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.” — Jean-Paul Sartre

18. “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I’ll waste no time reading it.” — Moses Hadas 

19. “If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.” — Alice Roosevelt Longworth 

20. “A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.” — Frank Lloyd Wright

The top hilarious quips and quotes to make you laugh

These quips and quotes are guaranteed to make you chuckle at the hilarities of life. 

21. “The covers of this book are too far apart.” — Ambrose Bierce 

22. “Happiness is good health and a bad memory.” — Ingrid Bergman 

23. “The cynics are right nine times out of ten.” — Henry Louis Mencken 

24. “Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.” — Thomas Jones

25. “Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.” — Henry David Thoreau 

26. “Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” — Oscar Wilde 

27. “The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.” — Gloria Leonard

28. “I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.” — Walt Disney 

29. “The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.” — Lucille S. Harper

30. “If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.” — Aristotle Onassis 

Cute quips and quotes that are clever and witty

These quips and quotes are excellent examples of humorous observations. 

31. “I’m one stomach flu away from my goal weight.” — Emily Charlton 

32. “Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.”— Dorothy Parker

33. “When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.” — Mae West 

34. “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” — Groucho Marx

35. “You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going because you might not get there.” — Yogi Berra

36. “Every day, I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” — Robert Orben

37. “From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.” — Groucho Marx 

38. “People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends, I need a Ouija board.” — Betty White

39. “My therapist says I’m afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would really cut into my sitting around time.” — Maria Bamford

40. “From the ages of eight to 18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.” — Jarod Kintz

Quips and quotes about family and relationships

We all love our families, but sometimes, they can drive us crazy. 

41. “Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.” — Carl Jung 

42. “Trying is the first step toward failure.” — Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

43. “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.” — Mortimer Brewster, Arsenic and Old Lace

44. “A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.” — Helen Rowland 

45. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” — Noel Coward

46. “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.” — Zach Galifianakis

47. “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.” — Bob Hope

48. “I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.” — Jack Whitehall

49. “My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.” — Halley Reed, Crimes and Misdemeanors

50. “I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.” — Damien Fahey

Who makes the best quips?

When people think of quips, they may think of comedians like Groucho Marx, but it’s important to remember that beauty, like humor, is in the eye and ear of the beholder. 

However, some figures have made a name for themselves by delivering clever quips and one-liners. 

One of the most famous quip makers of all time is Spiderman. 

Yes, that is right, the friendly neighborhood Spiderman has been making amusing quips and trolling villains since he swung onto the scene in 1962. 

Spiderman has incredible superpowers, but his comics are unique in how he weaves his razor-sharp humor into his crime-fighting. 

He appealed to audiences because he made superheroes more than just big grunts with muscles who destroy cities fighting bad guys. 

Spiderman brought humor to being a hero.

His wit and quips made him a more authentically realistic hero who was relatable to audiences. 

Who makes your favorite quips?

Please, be sure to let us know in the comments below.