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The Simpsons Quotes You Can’t Help But Enjoy

Love The Simpsons? Check out these classic The Simpsons quotes.

As a writer, I am committed to being as objective as I can to the best of my ability. But I would be lying if I said I was not excited to write this piece! I mean c’mon, The Simpsons is one of the greatest shows on television.

With a classic cast, memorable characters, and 33 phenomenal seasons under its belt, The Simpsons is a satirical depiction of American life. Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie have created comedic magic for over three decades.

First airing in 1989, this irreverent comedy is set in the fictional town of Springfield (one of the most common town names in America) and parodies the deepest levels of American culture, society, television, and the human condition.

Many people argue that The Simpsons is the greatest show of all time, do you agree or disagree?

Homer Simpson Quotes

1. “No, no honey, I love everything you force me to do.”- Homer

2. “Spread the word: peace and chicken.”- Homer

3. “Lord help me, I’m just not that bright.”- Homer

4. “It takes two to lie; one to lie, and one to listen.”- Homer

5. “Operator! Give me the number for 911!”- Homer

6. “Kids, just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I’m not listening.”- Homer

7. “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”- Homer

8. “Look Moe the least you can let me do is anything I want.”- Homer

9. “…if anyone asks you something you don’t understand, just say protons.” – Homer

10. “Marge I believe you’re forgetting America’s greatest wartime wheelchair-bound leader, Professor X of the X-Men.”- Homer

11. “If you’re out of my sight, you must constantly Twitter me what you’re up to…”- Homer

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12. “Marge, you’re my wife of ten years and I love you, but I must observe the teachings of this man I just met tonight.”- Homer

13. “Oh God gets your prayers, but he just clicks delete without reading them…”- Homer

14. “But it’s not on the calendar? Okay, but if I’m sleepy at work tomorrow I get to tell everyone why. “- Homer

15. “Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.”- Homer

See more Homer Simpson quotes.

Bart Simpson Quotes

16. “Hey, cool, I’m dead.”- Bart

17. “You’re asking the wrong guy, Milhouse, you’re asking the wrong guy.”- Bart

18. “She’s like a Milk Dud, Lis. Sweet on the outside, poison on the inside.”- Bart

19. “Everything changes when you get to big one-o. Your legs start to go, candy doesn’t taste as good anymore.”- Bart

20. “I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.”- Bart

21. “Oh! My ovaries!”- Bart

22. “I like to call this story Hungry are the Damned.”- Bart

23. “I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this…blows.”- Bart

24. “Oh, Space Mutants 4! Drop me off! Drop me off!”- Bart

25. “That’s not fair! I’m ten times the Krusty fan you are. I even have the Krusty Home Pregnancy test!” – Bart

26. “I got a rapid heartbeat from his Krusty brand vitamins, my Krusty Kalculator didn’t have a 7 or an 8, and Krusty’s autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions.” – Bart

27. “I think Grandpa smells like that trunk in the garage where the bottom’s all wet.”- Bart

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28. “I smell bacon, let’s see if he’s wearing a wire.”- Bart

29. “Mom, Dad, just so you don’t hear any wild rumors, I’m being indicted for fraud in Australia.”- Bart

30. “Very scary, Mr. Flanders, but I’ve got a story so scary you’ll wet your pants.”- Bart

Lisa Simpson Quotes

31. “Remember, Dad, all glory is fleeting.”- Lisa

32. Come on, Bart. Cartoons don’t have to be 100% realistic.”- Lisa

33. “Why do I get the feeling that someday I’ll be describing this to a psychiatrist?”- Lisa

34. “I learned that beneath my goody two-shoes lies some very dark socks.”- Lisa

35. “I think you need Skinner, Bart. Everybody needs a nemesis.”- Lisa

36. Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired by Hallmark and Disney in a hostile takeover, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.”- Lisa

37. “Does it make you feel superior to tear down people’s dreams?”- Lisa

38. “If you take away our cartoons, we’ll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots.”- Lisa

39. “I’m proud of you, Mom. You’re like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something millions of people knew about before you.”- Lisa

40. “They want sentiment? I’ll pump ’em so full of sap they’ll have to blow their nose with a pancake!”- Lisa

41. “It’s not my nature to complain, but so far today we’ve had three movies, two filmstrips, and an hour and a half of magazine time. I just don’t feel challenged.”- Lisa

Marge Simpson Quotes

42. “You’re going to stay your current ages for the rest of your lives.”- Marge

43. “This family has had its differences and we’ve squabbled, but we’ve never had knife fights before. And I blame this house.”- Marge

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44. “Oh, Milhouse doesn’t count.” – Marge

45. “Today he’s drinking people’s blood. Tomorrow he could be smoking.”- Marge

46. “If someone did eat Bart’s shorts they’d have a tummy full of pocket garbage.”- Marge

47. “I don’t want to alarm anybody, but I think there’s a little al-key-hol in this punch.”- Marge

48. “You know the courts might not work anymore, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else justice will be done! “- Marge

49. “…if you raised three children who can knock out and hog tie a perfect stranger you must be doing something right.”- Marge

50. “Maybe we should spend more time with Bart. He’s becoming isolated and weird.”- Marge

Which of these Simpson quotes is your favorite?

What makes The Simpsons so amazing is that it speaks to everyone. There is a persona or character in the series that everyone can identify with. Hardworking parents love Marge, those who love comedy love Homer, those who naturally challenge authority love Bart, and those who wish to change the world love Lisa.

What makes Maggie special is that she does not share her voice. She speaks to those who feel voiceless. The world has acknowledged the impact of this show, hence its 33 seasons and an equally successful movie.

With cameo appearances from some of the most successful actors, musicians, artists, and influencers, The Simpsons has actually depicted the future before it has happened on several occasions, increasing its mystique and lore.

Do you have a favorite character or favorite quote from The Simpsons? Let us know in the comments and be sure you don’t have a cow man!

Clifton Sankofa
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