3 Types of Toxic People To Stay Away From
December 16, 2022 9:00 AM EST | 4 min read
Achieving success is important for most of us, but you might not have realized how the toxic people in your life impede your progress.
From receiving academic awards and accolades to becoming the best version of ourselves, success can contribute to overall happiness.
Why stay away from toxic people?
However, one of the most overlooked reasons for the lack of success is because of the company we keep.
The people you choose to spend time with directly affect your advancement in life.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn
That’s why you must choose them wisely.
In my experience, there are three kinds of toxic people who are detrimental to your success.
3 Types of toxic people to stay away from
1. The “Drainers,” or “Energy Swappers”
Have you ever been in a fantastic mood and then talk to someone who makes you feel horrible afterward?
If you said yes, this is what it feels like to have your positive energy drained and replaced with someone else’s negative energy.
You experienced what I call energy swapping.
Drainers are constantly buried in drama and chaos, coming to you to feed off your positivity.
They are physical, emotional, and mental vampires.
After interacting with them, you go from happy to sad, depressed, and completely stressed out.
To succeed, you must stay focused, have a winning mindset, and maintain high energy levels.
It’s impossible to do that if you constantly allow toxic people to dump their problems and life’s woes on your shoulders.
You have a drainer in your circle if someone constantly zaps your positivity, energy, and focus.
2. The “Complainers” or “Finger Pointers”
I think we have all met this type of person at some point.
No matter what happens in their life, whether good or bad, they constantly complain.
They have nothing good to say about themselves, their lives, or others.
If you hang around this person too long, you may complain about the same things they do.
Eventually, you will become unappreciative of the positive things happening in your life because you are always pointing out what’s wrong.
Complainers are toxic people who never take accountability for their actions.
They place the blame on everything but themselves.
This mindset fuels their constant whining about what they don’t have, want, and feel they deserve.
Change will never come without being responsible and accepting the fact that it’s up to you to make things happen.
Every constant complainer I have met is nowhere near accomplishing any worthwhile goals they may have.
As it is so easy to have something to complain about and life never rewards complainers, stay as far away from them as much as possible.
3. The “Shamers” or “Mind Bullies”
Out of all three toxic people, this type is the most harmful to your personal and professional growth.
A shamer always tries to look down on everything you do, think, or say.
No matter what accomplishment you achieve, they try to mock you and make you feel inadequate.
This is their approach not only to you but to everyone around them.
They make fun of everything from your clothes to how you talk, who your friends are, and even your family.
Shamers are hazardous to your life because they aim to attack your self-esteem.
It would be difficult to become successful if you don’t have confidence and faith in yourself.
The shamer knows that it’s almost impossible to accomplish your goals without those two things.
Therefore, I call them mind bullies because they try to mentally or emotionally tear you down.
Shamers are also known for continuously projecting their own prejudices, deadly beliefs, and opinions on others.
If you entertain their company for too long, their fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs will soon become your own.
This makes them the most dangerous because they feed off the misery of others.
You can’t ever afford to be around a shamer.
So don’t allow yourself to even get close to them.
Make the most of your circle
It is often said that you will only be as successful as the five people you hang around the most.
If this statement is true, you can’t afford to invest your time in folks who are harmful to you and the goals you are working so hard to achieve.
By avoiding these three types of toxic people, you will increase your odds of success and ensure continued growth in every area of your life.
Tell us your thoughts in the comment section below.
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February 5, 2021 at 8:54 AM
I read this article after having an argument with my mother. I have lived in a toxic family for 21 years. My mother is all three types of toxic people. I skipped a heartbeat when you mentioned about hanging around five people because I live with five toxic people under the same roof. I have been depressed and even suicidal because of my emotionally abusive mother. And the most disturbing part is that toxic people have no remorse about the damage they do to somebody’s mental health. Sometimes, we make the mistake of becoming a rehab centre for toxic people. My target in life is making sure my children grow up in a normal family because I know what it feels like to grow up in a toxic, abusive and a dysfunctional family. I will never emotionally abuse my daughter. Or treat her like a competition or a burden. Or project my insecurities on my daughter. Or play the mother card to turn everybody against her. Or body shame her during her teenage years. Or publicly humiliate her. I will be a better parent than my parents. Dysfunctional families are a humanitarian crisis to be honest.
October 16, 2020 at 1:54 PM
All 3 types describe my Mother-in-Law. (not trying to be funny). She is the most hateful person I have ever met. She has tried to split my husband and I up. I am middle age and this is both our second marriage. I have never encountered such a horrible human being!
September 6, 2019 at 2:21 PM
In my opinion, it can be harmful to so quickly classify someone who is “complaining” about something because they may have a genuine grievance that a) they need some direction with, and/or b) that they need you to help them resolve. To immediately shut down the conversation because you believe they’re toxic may actually reinforce your own denial. Relationships require two people, and complaints can be for legitimate reasons…
October 11, 2018 at 1:45 AM
always stay with people who like success and you will real succeed, dont even temper to give a single second for those kind of people cause its enough to change your attitude, emotions and your courage.
October 11, 2018 at 6:24 AM
You got it. Hang around people who driven and who want to see you win. Never give your energy to emotional vampires or people who are constantly negative.
April 30, 2018 at 10:40 PM
Not having these people in your life is truly an invigorating feeling. We have all had these types of people in our lives and they only put negative energy into the world. Make sure you are not the person who is putting out that negative energy either!
May 1, 2018 at 12:16 PM
It truly is an amazing feeling when those people no longer have influence in your life Carol. Also, great point! We must make sure we aren’t the problem!
April 30, 2018 at 3:15 PM
This sounds so great.
May 1, 2018 at 12:15 PM
Thanks Peter. It’s definitey a reminder for me as well to take inventory of your circle of influence.