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39 Wicked and Woeful Wednesday Addams Quotes

November 5, 2020 7:00 AM EST

The Addams Family is one of the most famous spooky series. Enjoy these memorable Wednesday Addams quotes and snarky one-liners.

Wednesday Addams has become a bit of a cultural icon, but her backstory is interesting too. The Addams family was initially a comic in the newspaper, created by Charles Addams.

39 Wicked and Woeful Wednesday Addams Quotes

The characters were nameless until they turned The Addams Family into a TV show. The inspiration for Wednesday’s name was a nursery rhyme. The line goes: “Wednesday’s child is full of woe.”

Full of woe is an adequate description for the only daughter of Gomez and Morticia Addams. She doesn’t hug, rarely shows emotion, and says the most depressing things! Her signature look, pale skin, dark braided pigtails, and black dress have become a Halloween costume staple.

She has been portrayed by several actresses throughout the years, but in the two movies, that honor went to Christina Ricci. She delivered each of the following quotes with perfection!

Don’t forget to also check out these Calvin and Hobbes quotes from the classic comic strip.

Wednesday Addams quotes that are so Wednesday

1. “Woe to the Republic.” — Wednesday Addams

2. “I don’t want to be in the pageant.” — Wednesday Addams

3. “Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character, and the Aristotelian unities.” — Wednesday Addams

4. “Don’t be a baby. I know what I’m doing. [She levels a crossbow.]” — Wednesday Addams

5. “Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle, not even for a vacation. Everyone knows that.” — Wednesday Addams

6. “We don’t hug.” — Wednesday Addams

7. “I’m not perky.” — Wednesday Addams

8. “So, I’ll have to prove my power.” — Wednesday Addams

9. “Oh, villain, villain; smiling damn villain.” — Wednesday Addams

Terrifying Wednesday Addams quotes

10. [holding up devil puppet] “Hello Polly, I’ll clean my room. In exchange for your immortal soul.” — Wednesday Addams

11. “Hurrah! Justice is served. Bring forward the evil one.” — Wednesday Addams

12. “Nice knife! Can I play autopsy with it?” — Wednesday Addams

13. “Pugsley, the baby weighs ten pounds, the cannonball weighs twenty pounds. Which will hit the stone first?” — Wednesday Addams

14. “This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else.” — Wednesday Addams

15. If I wanted to kill my husband, I’d do it, and I wouldn’t get caught. — Wednesday Addams

16. “Are they [the cookies] made from real Girl Scouts?” — Wednesday Addams

17. “How all occasions do inform against me and spur my dull revenge. Oh, from this time forth, my thoughts be bloody or nothing worth. If I must strike you dead, I will.” — Wednesday Addams

18. “Come, sorrow; we welcome thee. Let us join in grief, rejoice in despair, and honor the fortunate dead.” — Wednesday Addams

19. “Everyone knows it when you have a new baby, one of the other children has to die.”  — Wednesday Addams

Snarky one-liner Wednesday Addams quotes

20. “Do you believe in evil?” — Wednesday Addams

21. [In response to, “How do I look?”] “Disturbing.” — Wednesday Addams

22. “I hate everything.” — Wednesday Addams

23. “You severely underestimate my apathy.” — Wednesday Addams

24. “Be afraid. Be very afraid.” — Wednesday Addams

25. [In response to, “are they dead?”] “Does it matter?” — Wednesday Addams

Wednesday Addams quotes on matters of the heart

26. “This is the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of human events. Uncle Fester’s getting married.” — Wednesday Addams

27. [After Wednesday catches the bride’s bouquet.] “It’s not binding.” — Wednesday Addams

28. “[Explaining where babies come from.] They had sex.” — Wednesday Addams

29. “You might find a nice girl to be miserable with.” — Wednesday Addams

30. [Morticia says that Wednesday is at the special age where she only has one thing on her mind. Ellen responds with, “Boys?”] Homicide. — Wednesday Addams

31. [Joel: But what if you met the right man, who worshipped and adored you? Who’d do anything for you? Who’d be your devoted slave? Then what would you do?] “I’d pity him.” — Wednesday Addams

Wednesday Addams quotes about camp

32. “You sent us to camp. They made us sing.” — Wednesday Addams

33. [In response to, “Is that your swimsuit?”] “Is that your overbite?”  — Wednesday Addams

34. [continuing a ghost story] “And so, the next night, the ghost returned to the haunted cabin. And he said to the campers, ‘None of you really believe in me, so I’ll have to prove my power.’ And the next morning, when the campers woke up, all of their old noses had grown back.” — Wednesday Addams

35. [driving to Camp Chippewa and responding to Pugsley asking what Chippewa means] “It means orphan.” — Wednesday Addams

36. [Ad-libbing during a Thanksgiving Day play at camp.] “You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the roadsides. You will play golf and enjoy hot hors d’oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, “Do not trust the Pilgrims. Especially Sarah Miller.” — Wednesday Addams

37. [Ad-libbing during a Thanksgiving Day play at camp.] “And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.” — Wednesday Addams

38. [Practicing lifeguarding skills. In response to, “I’ll be the victim!”] “All your life.” — Wednesday Addams

39.  [In response to “How long do we have to stay here?”] “Until we crack.” — Wednesday Addams

Did you enjoy these Wednesday Addams quotes?

I was a fan of the original TV show when I was a kid (it aired on Nick at Nite). I had never seen the movies until recently, but my husband had a delightful trip down memory lane and was shocked I had made it through the 90s without seeing them.

Our son, who is eleven, wanted to watch the latest animated version on Netflix. At that moment, I realized how many generations have been laughing at this creepy and kooky family.

They may be mysterious and spooky, especially Wednesday, but they are also delightful. Her deadpan (no pun intended) sense of sarcasm and snark is something I envy sometimes. Charles Addams had this to say about the child of woe, as he saw Wednesday:

“Child of woe is wan and delicate… sensitive and on the quiet side, she loves the picnics and outings to the underground caverns… a solemn child, prim in dress and, on the whole, pretty lost… secretive and imaginative, poetic, seems underprivileged and given to occasional tantrums… has six toes on one foot.” — Charles Addams

Do you have any favorite Wednesday Addams quotes and lines from the show or the animated film you would like to add? Drop them in the comments below! 

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