20 Archer Quotes From the Television Series

By Stephanie Kirby | Published December 7, 2022

Check out these Archer quotes from your favorite animated series.

Archer is a long-running animated, adult action/comedy that has been running on FX since 2009.

Created by Adam Reed, the show follows the twists and turns of an intelligence agency that is dysfunctional in every way.

The show’s star, Sterling Archer, is surrounded by 7 of his colleagues, including his mother, which makes for fun and exciting storylines.

This animated series focuses on being a spy parody and is set in the Cold War-esque universe.

With positive reviews and many awards won as well as others that Archer has been nominated for, it is no wonder that Archer is on its 13th season.

Enjoy reading these Archer quotes and if you haven’t seen the show yet, make sure to watch it as soon as possible.

Be sure to also check out our collection of Grandma’s Boy quotes from the gamer and stoner comedy.

Hilarious Archer Quotes

You will be laughing before you get through the set of Archer quotes below.

1. “Seriously Lana, call Kenny Loggins, because you are in the Danger Zone.” – Archer

2. “Both of you, imagine shutting up!” – Malory Archer

3. “Oh. I thought we were laughing at the dead people we set on fire.” – Cheryl

4. “Hey, will you choke me a little bit?” – Cheryl

5. “I think that’s hot, like somebody murdering me. So… intimate.” – Cheryl

6. “Every single noun and verb in that sentence totally arouses me.” – Doctor Kreiger

7. “I’ve swallowed just about as much as I can take from you!” – Malory Archer

8. “Idiots doing idiot things, because they are idiots.” – Archer

9. “The cumulative hangover will kill me.” – Archer

10. “You are not my friend, you are a Decepticon.” – Pam

You will also enjoy our article on Mayor of Kingstown quotes.

See if you recognize any of the quotes below from the television series.

11. “I’m sorry, are you addressing me? Because your authority is not recognized in… Fort Kickass.” – Doctor Kreiger

12. “Well, if I did want a grandchild, I would just scrape all your previous mishaps into a big pile, and knit a onesie for it.” – Malory Archer

13. “I didn’t invent the turtleneck, Lana. But, I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactical garment.” – Archer

14. “The train dwarf was real and he looked right at me with his dwarfy eyeballs!” – Cheryl

15. “Sorry, ignore me. My whole thing is that I just crave attention.” – Cheryl

16. “This is Rodney, he’s the new… whatever… gun librarian.” – Pam

17. “Is it murder if they were my own clones? Because I’m seriously asking.” – Doctor Kreiger

18. “EVERYTHING! THEY EAT EVERYTHING! And fear is their bacon bits!” – Archer

19. “Why are your plans always so complicated? You’re like Wile E. Coyote with access to predator drones.” – Lana

20. “Pam and Crazy Glue, your job is to stay out of everybody’s way, so maybe go do that in the rear.” – Slater

Archer has already gone 13 seasons, and at the current pace and success, it may have many more seasons left.

While Archer started on FX, it is now running on FX’s sister network, FXX, if you would like to enjoy the show.