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50 BoJack Horseman Quotes From the Hit Netflix Show That Illustrate The Human Condition

BoJack Horseman, an animated adult sitcom, follows the misadventures of an anthropomorphic horse named BoJack Horseman. BoJack was the star of a 1990s sitcom who is desperate to reclaim his star status again.

He plans to release a ghostwritten autobiography. This means he has to handle the dynamic between the ghostwriter and his agent. The show also follows his relationships with his roommate and former rival. It also details his struggles with depression and addiction, as you can see in these BoJack Horseman quotes.

Raphael Bob-Waksberg created the series which is set primarily in L.A. and features the voice talents of Will Arnett, Amy Sedaris, Alison Brie, Paul F. Tompkins, and Aaron Paul. Cartoonist Lisa Hanawalt is the show’s designer.

She has been friends with Bob-Waksberg since high school and the pair worked together on the webcomic Tip Me Over, Pour Me Out. The series premiered on Netflix on August 22, 2014, and ended on January 31, 2020, airing 77 episodes. If you like adult animated series, then this is one you should watch. Keep reading through these funny BoJack Horseman quotes for a good laugh.

Don’t forget to also check out Homer Simpson quotes that will make you laugh.

Sad BoJack Horseman quotes that show his struggle with depression

1. “I can’t say no to people because I want everyone to like me.” ― BoJack Horseman

2. “I need to go take a shower so I can’t tell if I’m crying or not.” ― BoJack Horseman

3. “You know, sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me, and now it’s all gone. And I’ll never get it back in me.” ― BoJack Horseman

4. “I spend a lot of time with the real me and believe me, nobody’s gonna love that guy.” ― BoJack Horseman

5. “I’ve had a lot of what I thought were rock bottoms, only to discover another, rockier bottom underneath.” ― BoJack Horseman

6. “I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast!” ― BoJack Horseman

7. “It gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day—that’s the hard part. But it does get easier.” ― BoJack Horseman

8. “Settle. Because otherwise you’re just gonna get older and harder, and more alone. And you’re gonna do everything you can to fill that hole, with friends, and your career, and meaningless sex, but the hole doesn’t get filled. One day, you’re gonna look around and you’re going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you. And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.” ― BoJack Horseman

9. “He’s so stupid he doesn’t realize how miserable he should be. I envy that.” ― BoJack Horseman

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10. “I don’t understand how people… live. It’s amazing to me that people wake up every morning and say: ‘Yeah, another day, let’s do it.’ How do people do it? I don’t know how.” ― BoJack Horseman

11. “There is no other side.” ― BoJack Horseman

12. “I want to feel good about myself. The way you do. And I don’t know-how. I don’t know if I can.” ― BoJack Horseman

13. “Yeah, I ate them all in one sitting because I have no self-control and I hate myself.” ― BoJack Horseman

Funny BoJack Horseman quotes

14. “Man, I really regret buying those muffins and then eating them all on the drive home.” ― BoJack Horseman

15. “Beer before liquor, don’t do heroin.” ― BoJack Horseman

16. “I told you, I don’t know where it is. Don’t put things in my butt if you want them back.” ― Mr. Peanutbutter

17. “Also, are you wearing comfortable shoes? Because I feel like that was a long road to walk to get to that punchline.” ― BoJack Horseman

18. “Ow, crap. I hate this. Running is terrible. Everything is the worst.” ― BoJack Horseman

19. “Crack an egg on your head. Let the yolk drip down.” ―Mr. Peanutbutter

20. “Your girlfriend has a stripper name.” ― BoJack Horseman

21. “That woman can knock a drink back like a Kennedy at a wake for another Kennedy, but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t get shit done!” ― Princess Carolyn

22. “Henrietta, don’t use a foreign language in front of the child, she’ll get ideas!” ― Beatrice Horseman

23. “Todd, your good-hearted naivety has once again conspired with outrageous happenstance to completely dick me over!” ― BoJack Horseman

24. “You’ve got a nice set of pipes. You’re like a Josh Groban who doesn’t also think he’s funny.” ― BoJack Horseman

25. “Goddammit, Honeydew? Jesus, why does Cantaloupe think every time it gets invited to a party it can bring along its dumb friend Honeydew? You don’t get a plus one Cantaloupe.” ― BoJack Horseman

26. “Why put the skip ad button so late? I’m not skipping now. I’m invested.” ― BoJack Horseman

27. “I drove, but I moved my arm a bunch so the Fitbit counted the miles.” ― BoJack Horseman

Sad BoJack Horseman quotes from other characters

28. “When we know what we know about a monster like that and we still put him on TV every week, we’re teaching a generation of young boys and girls that a man’s reputation is more important than the lives of the women he’s ruined.” ― Amanda Hannity

29. “That voice, the one that tells you you’re worthless and stupid and ugly?… It goes away, right?” ― Hollyhock

30. “The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn’t the search for meaning; it’s just to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you’ll be dead.” ― Mr. Peanutbutter

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31. “Laura! Clear out my schedule! I have to push a boulder up a hill and then have it roll over me time and time again with no regard for my well-being!” ― Princess Carolyn

32. “All I ever wanted was to be your friend… and you treat me like a big joke. You think I don’t notice? Why don’t you like me?” ― Mr. Peanutbutter

33. “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m happy for the first time in my life and I’m not gonna feel bad about it. It takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are and even longer to see it doesn’t have to be that way. Only after you give up everything can you begin to find a way to be happy.” ― Fuzzy Whiskers

34. “It’s not about being happy, that is the thing. I’m just trying to get through each day. I can’t keep asking myself ‘Am I happy? ‘ It just makes me more miserable. I don’t know If I believe in it, real lasting happiness, All those perky, well-adjusted people you see in movies and TV shows? I don’t think they exist.” ― Diane Nguyen

BoJack Horseman quotes about life and other people

35. “I feel like my life is just a series of unrelated wacky adventures.” ― BoJack Horseman

36. “Look, for a lot of people, life is just one long hard kick in the urethra.” ― BoJack Horseman

37. “When you get sad you run, straight ahead and you keep running forward no matter what there are people in your life that who are going to try to hold you back, slow you down, but you don’t let them. Don’t you ever stop running, don’t ever look behind you there is nothing for you behind you. All that exists is what’s ahead.” ― Secretariat

38. “Fool me once, shame on you. But teach a man to fool me and I’ll be fooled for the rest of my life.” ― BoJack Horseman

39. “But in real life, the big gesture isn’t enough. You need to be consistent, you need to be dependably good. You need to do it every day, which is so… hard.” ― BoJack Horseman

40. “You are a horrible person, and you not understanding that you’re a horrible person, doesn’t make you less of a horrible person.” ― BoJack Horseman

41. “You sleep on my couch and you don’t pay rent. I’ve had tapeworms that are less parasitic. I don’t even remember why I let you stay with me in the first place.” ― BoJack Horseman

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42. “You can’t keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! You need to be better!” ― Todd

Disturbing BoJack Horseman quotes from his abusive mother

43. “I’m punishing you for being alive.” ― Beatrice Horseman

44. “You were born broken. That’s your birthright. And now you can fill your life with projects — your books, and your movies, and your little girlfriends, but that won’t make you whole. You’re BoJack Horseman. There’s no cure for that.” ― Beatrice Horseman

45. “Nobody gives a damn what you feel! You’ve got an audience out there, and they want to hear you sing. Now, you want your mommy to love you? You go out there and you do the only thing you’re good for, which is singing the goddamn Lollipop Song!” ― Beatrice Horseman

46. “You ruined me, BoJack.” ― Beatrice Horseman

47. “You better grow up to be something great, to make up for all the damage you’ve done.” ― Beatrice Horseman

48. “I’m sorry. Did you need a compliment?” ― Beatrice Horseman

49. “You don’t know how lucky you are to have me! I hope you die before I do, so you never have to know what it’s like to lose a mother.” ― Beatrice Horseman

50. “Don’t you dare cry? Don’t you ever cry! You wanted this.” ― Beatrice Horseman

Which of these BoJack Horseman quotes is your favorite?

Why was BoJack Horseman canceled? The show received mixed reviews when it first aired, but the subsequent seasons were critically acclaimed. GQ magazine listed the show as one of the best of the decade.

There doesn’t seem to be an obvious reason for the show’s cancelation, other than that it was Netflix’s decision to do so. Creator Raphael Bob-Waksberg said that the studio gave him a heads up, which let him end the show in a way that was satisfying for him and the fans.

For an animated series, the show depicts a realistic take on depression, trauma, addiction, self-destructive behavior, racism, sexism, and sexuality. For a show about a horse, they nail down the emotions and problems that make up the human condition. They do such a good job that the show has won four Critics’ Choice Television Awards for Best Animated Series.

It has also been awarded three Annie Awards and two Writers Guild of America Awards. It has been nominated for several others too! If you are looking for your next show to stream, then give this one a shot. It is a complete series that always makes me happy―no waiting!

Did you enjoy reading these BoJack Horseman quotes and lines? Which of the quotes is your favorite? Let us know in the comment section below.

Danielle Dahl, Lead Contributor
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