20 Dale Gribble Quotes From the Hilarious Character on King of the Hill

King of the Hill fans will love these Dale Gribble quotes!

Dale Gribble was a fictional main character on King of the Hill for all thirteen seasons between 1997 through 2009.

Dale was created by Mike Judge and voiced by comedian Johnny Hardwick.

Dale is an eccentric character holding the jobs of an exterminator and bounty hunter while also owning his own business, Daletech, which protects against the invasion of privacy.

Dale is a gun fanatic and believes in most conspiracy theories.

We often see Dale with his friends drinking beer and chain smoking.

Dale is a loving husband and father even though his wife regularly cheats on him, and his son is likely not his biological son.

Dale sees things as he would like to see them, is very trusting of his wife even though he should be, and is very attentive and supportive of his son Joseph.

Enjoy learning more about this character through these Dale Gribble quotes!

You will also enjoy our article on Hank Hill quotes.

Popular Dale Gribble quotes

These quotes give you a great overview of who Dale Gribble is.

1. “They’ll probably get you with a blow-dart.” – Dale Gribble

2. “I’m all jacked up on America right now.” – Dale Gribble

3. “Are you seeing another exterminator?” – Dale Gribble

4. “Boil up some Mountain Dew; it’s gonna be a long night.” – Dale Gribble

5. “Are you attempting to know me?” – Dale Gribble

6. “Hank must never know we were in here.” – Dale Gribble

7. “Guns don’t kill people. The government does.” – Dale Gribble

8. “They’re trying to control global warming.” – Dale Gribble

9. “So it turns out I’m not the actual Dale Gribble, but a clone of him.” – Dale Gribble

10. “They want to see me wet my pants from fear, but they’re too late.” – Dale Gribble

Dale Gribble quotes for King of the Hill fans

Dale Gribble has a lot of ideas and beliefs, as you’ll see in the following quotes.

11. “Hank, it sounds like you did everything right except giving away my kidney.” – Dale Gribble

12. “If you want, you can read a bloated government report on smoking or go straight to the horse’s mouth and get the facts from the tobacco industry.” – Dale Gribble

13. “If you take my kidney on vacation, my other organs go too.” – Dale Gribble

14. “And maybe I should not know that all Mega Lo Mart employees have a five thousand dollar insurance policy.” – Dale Gribble

15. “The smoking breaks are too short, the food is good at best, and the antidepressants are making my mouth dry and happy.” – Dale Gribble

16. “Computers have already beaten the communists at chess. Next thing you know, they’ll be bating humans.” – Dale Gribble

17. “A level three tornado will blow an egg right through a brick wall. Twister chasers call it ‘Humpty’s Revenge.’” – Dale Gribble

18. “I could finally start paying Nancy’s health insurance instead of just telling Nancy I’m paying for it.” – Dale Gribble

19. “A man breaks into your house, but you don’t own a gun. How are you going to shoot him?” – Dale Gribble

20. “Computers don’t make errors. What they do, they do on purpose.” – Dale Gribble

Dale’s Physical Attributes

Dale stands at a skinny six feet tall and is physically weak.

He claims to be an expert in the fictional “Monkey Style” martial arts but runs away anytime there might be trouble.

Dale relies on his surveillance equipment to learn about his neighbors and friends to outsmart them.

Please share these Dale Gribble quotes with your friends who could use some laughs. Let us know your favorite in the comments.