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Galaxy Quest Quotes From The Parody Film

Galaxy Quest is a 1999 American sci-fi comedy film filled with hilarious one-liners, as you will see in these Galaxy Quest quotes.

The film is both a parody of and homage to various science-fiction films and series, especially Star Trek.

It was directed by Dean Parisot and written by David Howard and Robert Gordon. It’s got quite the comedy lineup with stars like Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman, Tony Shalhoub, Sam Rockwell, and Daryl Mitchell.

It chronicles the cast of a fictional and defunct cult television series called Galaxy Quest. They spend most of their days attending fan conventions and making various promotional appearances.

Jason Nesmith, the conceited star of the old show, lives for the attention. However, the other cast members—Gwen, Alexander, Fred, and Tommy—resent him (along with the state of their careers). That disdain comes across in a few of these Galaxy Quest quotes!

The cast members are drawn into a real interstellar conflict when actual aliens come to planet Earth. The aliens mistakenly think the series is an accurate documentary.

Don’t forget to also check out these Star Trek quotes that will help you go where no man has before.

Galaxy Quest quotes from Gwen DeMarco

1. “Let’s get out of here before one of those things kills Guy.” — Gwen DeMarco

2. “Look! I have one job on this lousy ship. It’s *stupid*, but I’m gonna do it! Okay?” — Gwen DeMarco

3. “No, there is no replacement Beryllium Sphere on board.” — Gwen DeMarco

4. “Ducts? Why is it always ducts?” — Gwen DeMarco

5. “Well forget it! I’m not going. This episode was badly written!” — Gwen DeMarco

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6. “We shouldn’t have to do this! It makes no logical sense! Why is it here?” — Gwen DeMarco

7. “You’ve got to admit, they really do love him.” — Gwen DeMarco

8. “Jason, we are actors, not astronauts.” — Gwen DeMarco

9. “Self-control? That’s funny coming from the guy that slept with every Terrakian slave girl and Moon Princess on the show.” — Gwen DeMarco

10. “What is this thing? I mean, it serves no useful purpose for there to be a bunch of chompy, crushy things in the middle of a hallway.” — Gwen DeMarco

Galaxy Quest quotes from Guy Fleegman

11. “Oh that is just not right.” — Guy Fleegman

12. “Because I died… in episode 81!” — Guy Fleegman

13. “Hey guys, there’s a red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy.” — Guy Fleegman

14. “HEY! Don’t open that! It’s an alien planet! Is there air? You don’t know!” — Guy Fleegman

15. “I’m just jazzed about being on the show, man.” — Guy Fleegman

16. “I’m just a glorified extra, Fred. I’m a dead man, anyway.” — Guy Fleegman

17. “If I’m gonna die, I’d rather go out a hero than a coward.” — Guy Fleegman

18. “I’m not? Then what’s my last name?” — Guy Fleegman

19. “I changed my mind. I wanna go back.” — Guy Fleegman

20. “I know! You construct a weapon. Look around. Can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?” — Guy Fleegman

Galaxy Quest quotes from Sir Alexander Dane

21. “Don’t speak, Quellek.” — Sir Alexander Dane

22. “By Grabthar’s hammer, by the suns of Worvan, you shall be avenged.” — Sir Alexander Dane

23. “That’s not too bad. We’ll get you to the medical quarters, and you’ll be fine.” — Sir Alexander Dane

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24. “I see you’ve managed to get your shirt off.” — Sir Alexander Dane

25. “Could they be the miners?” — Sir Alexander Dane

26. “MINERS, not MINORS.” — Sir Alexander Dane

27. “You’re just going to have to figure out what it wants. What is its motivation?” — Sir Alexander Dane

28. “See, that’s your problem, Jason. You were never serious about the craft.” — Sir Alexander Dane

29. “After the fuss you made about getting left behind?” — Sir Alexander Dane

30. “It’s “Scene-Stealing Hack,” thank you.” — Sir Alexander Dane

Galaxy Quest quotes from Jason Nesmith

31. “It’s a rock monster. It doesn’t have motivation.” — Jason Nesmith

32. “Kill it? Well, I’m open to any suggestions.” — Jason Nesmith

33. “He doesn’t have any eyes, Tommy!” — Jason Nesmith

34. “It’s a rock! It doesn’t have any vulnerable spots!” — Jason Nesmith

35. “I heard some squealing or something.” — Jason Nesmith

36. “I heard that! It turned inside out?” — Jason Nesmith

37. “Did I just hear that the animal turned inside out, and then it exploded? Hello?” — Jason Nesmith

38. “You’re not gonna die on the planet, Guy.” — Jason Nesmith

39. “You used to pull your punches.” — Jason Nesmith

40. “Maybe it’s about time you just backed off, you fin-headed monstrosity.” — Jason Nesmith

Galaxy Quest quotes from Tommy Webber

41. “You know, that is really getting annoying!” — Tommy Webber

42. “Go for the eyes, like in episode 22!” — Tommy Webber

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43. “Go for the mouth, then, the throat, his vulnerable spots!”— Tommy Webber

44. “Whatever, the one with the hologram. The wall of fire” — Tommy Webber

45. “Yeah, almost as much as he loves himself.” — Tommy Webber

46. “Assault on Voltarek III”. Episode 81 I think.” — Tommy Webber

47. “You were holding it upside down.” — Tommy Webber

48. “How about that Pig-Lizard?” — Tommy Webber

49. “Caw! Caw!” — Tommy Webber

50. “You know, with all that makeup and stuff, I actually thought you were smart for a second.” — Tommy Webber

Which of these Galaxy Quest quotes is your favorite?

The characters engage in an intergalactic war with an evil warlord named Sarris. They save the day and land back on Earth to the cheers from their adoring fans, who think the whole thing is a publicity stunt.

The film did well at the box office and received mostly positive reviews from critics. It earned quite a few awards as well, including the Hugo Award for Best Dramatic Presentation and the Nebula Award for Best Script.

It was also nominated for 10 Saturn Awards, including Best Science Fiction Film and Best Director for Parisot, Best Actress for Weaver, and Best Supporting Actor for Rickman. Tim Allen won the award for Best Actor.

Star Trek fans loved the film for the parody, but they were not the only ones. The film achieved cult status from more mainstream audiences and has been ranked one of the funniest movies of all time.

Do you have a favorite Galaxy Quest quote? Share it with us in the comment section below.

Danielle Dahl, Lead Contributor
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