25 Heathers Quotes From the Dark Teen Coming-of-Age Movie

By Stephanie Kirby | Published August 23, 2023

If you enjoy dark teen comedy movies, these Heathers quotes are perfect for you.

Heathers was released in 1989 as a coming-of-age, dark comedy movie that was written by Daniel Waters and directed by Michael Lehmann.

The movie stars actors and actresses Christian Slater, Winona Ryder, Shannen Doherty, Lisanne Falk, Kim Walker, and other talented actors.

Although the movie received mediocre critical reviews and bombed at the box office, it has since developed a cult following.

The movie’s plot centers around a clique of four girls, three of whom are named Heather and a new guy named J.D.

The clique of girls is mean-spirited, and the fourth girl, who is named Veronica, decides she would like to be around other people, so she starts to hang out with the new guy, J.D.

Take a look at these Heathers quotes to learn more about the coming-of-age movie.

Memorable Heathers Quotes From the Film

Here are some lines fans of the movie will recognize.

1. “Veronica, you look like hell.” — Heather Duke

2. “Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.” — J.D.

3. “Greetings and salutations… you a Heather?” — J.D.

4. “I don’t really like my friends.” — Veronica Sawyer

5. “What’s your damage, Heather?” — Veronica Sawyer

6. “I just killed my best friend.” — Veronica Sawyer

7. “No, Heather, it’s Heather’s turn.” — Heather Chandler

8. “I loved you. Course, I was coming up here to kill ya…” — J.D.

9. “If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?” — Veronica Sawyer

10. “It’s got that what-a-cruel-world-let’s-toss-ourselves-in-the-abyss type ambiance.” — J.D.

Heathers Quotes From Veronica Sawyer

Here are some top lines from the film’s main protagonist.

11. “You’re not a rebel! You’re a f***ing psychotic.” — Veronica Sawyer

12. “Heather, my love, there’s a new sheriff in town.” — Veronica Sawyer

13. “Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullsh*t now has a body count.” — Veronica Sawyer

14. “If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn’t be a human being. You’d be a game-show host.” — Veronica Sawyer

15. “You inherit 5 million dollars the same day aliens land on the earth and say they’re going to blow it up in 2 days. What do you do?” — Veronica Sawyer

16. “All we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits.” — Veronica Sawyer

17. “You’re throwing your life away to become a statistic on U.S. f***ing A. Today, that’s about the least private thing I can think of.” — Veronica Sawyer

18. “Suicide gave Heather depth, Kurt a soul, and Ram a brain. I don’t know what it’s given me, but I have no control over myself when I’m with J.D.” — Veronica Sawyer

More Heathers Quotes

Here are a few more lines from the film Heathers.

19. “Let’s go get a Slushie.” — J.D.

20. “Well, f*ck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?” — Heather Chandler

21. “Is this turnout weak or what? I had at least 70 more people at my funeral.” — Heather Chandler

22. “You don’t get it, do you? Society nods its head at any horror the American teenager can think upon itself.” — J.D.

23. “Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast? First, you ask if you can be red, knowing that I’m always red.” — Heather Chandler

24. “I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times, and I felt bad every time I did, but I kept doing it anyway.” — Heather Duke

25. “When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it’s usually because they are being treated like human beings.” — Veronica’s mom