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How I Met Your Mother Quotes From The Fan Favorite Sitcom

These How I Met Your Mother quotes are funny and come from each of the characters, giving you a picture of just what that life in NY might have looked like!

How I Met Your Mother was a popular American comedy sitcom that ran from 2005-2014. The series had a unique framing model, which involved Bob Saget doing voice-over narration for the character of Ted Mosby, who was telling his adolescent children the story of how he met their mother.

The role of Ted Mosby was played by Josh Radnor and was based on the life of Carter Bays. Carter and Craig Thomas (the inspiration for Marshall Eriksen) came up with the idea for the show because they wanted to write about their life in NY.

The pair worked together as writers on The Late Show with David Letterman and apparently did a lot of “stupid stuff” with their friends. The show kept audiences on the edge of their couches while we wondered if Robin would end up in a relationship with either Ted or Barney.

The show does tell viewers early on that Robin is, in fact, “not the mother,” but that doesn’t stop them from teasing us with storylines based on a potential romance! Marshall and Lily are an adorable couple, and Lily is actually based on Craig Thomas’ wife! Don’t miss these How I Met Your Mother quotes from Marshall and Lily.

Another thing that has been teased for a long time was the series spin-off show How I Met Your Dad. Find out why HIMYM was canceled and why the spin-off didn’t air back in 2014 after reading through these How I Met Your Mother quotes.

Don’t forget to also check out these ‘Friends’ quotes from the hit 90’s sitcom.

How I Met Your Mother quotes that will make you laugh

1. “That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like, ‘Hey bro, I don’t know what you’re eating cause I don’t have any eyes but it’s basically awesome, so keep sending it down Gullet Alley.’” — Marshall Eriksen

2. “I finally found the one, Marshall. Her name is Bacon.” — Ted Mosby

3. “Your package has always been big enough. You may not realize this, Marshall Eriksen, but you’ve got a huge package.” — Lily Aldrin

4. “Look, I know the odds are the love of my life isn’t going to magically walk through that door in a pumpkin costume at 2:43 in the morning. But it just seems as nice a spot as any to just, you know, sit and wait.” — Ted Mosby

5. “I’ve been dreaming of that since I was five. Well, that and my own operational Death Star.” — Barney Stinson

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6. “The Bro Code has been around for centuries. Nay… whatever’s more than centuries.” — Barney Stinson

7. “Well, that answers all the questions I didn’t ask.” — Robin Scherbatsky

8. “That’s right, I’m a ghost. I died fifteen years ago, kind of like that pickup line.” — Robin Scherbatsky

9. “I just want to say from the bottom of my heart… I’m going to kill you.” — Robin Scherbatsky

10. “Oprah wasn’t built in a day.” — Lily Aldrin

Life lessons and inspiration from these How I Met Your Mother quotes

11. “It’s just, eventually, we’re all gonna move on. It’s called growing up.” — Lily Aldrin

12. “The future is scary, but you can’t just run back to the past because it’s familiar. Yes, it’s tempting, but it’s a mistake.” — Robin Scherbatsky

13. “Because sometimes even if you know how something’s gonna end, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the ride.” — Ted Mosby

14. “That’s life, you know. We never end up where you thought you wanted to be.” — Marshall Eriksen

15. “Revenge fantasies never work out the way you want.” — Marshall Eriksen

16. “So really the biggest mistake would be not to make that mistake, because then you’ll go your whole life not knowing if something was a mistake or not.” — Lily Aldrin

17. “The great moments of your life won’t necessarily be the things you do, they’ll also be the things that happen to you.” — Ted Mosby

18. “You can ask the universe for signs all you want, but ultimately we’ll only see what we want to see… when we’re ready to see it.” — Ted Mosby

19. “You can’t just skip ahead to where you think your life should be.” — Lily Aldrin

20. “Whatever you do in this life, it’s not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.” — Barney Stinson

How I Met Your Mother quotes about love, breakups, and everything in between

21. “Everyone has an opinion on how long it takes to recover from a breakup.” — Ted Mosby

22. “Oh my god, look at you cowards. So afraid of any kind of change. So terrified of anything new. So, so desperate to cling to anything comfortable and familiar.” — Robin Scherbatsky

23. “The three-day rule is a childish, manipulative mind game. But yeah, you wait three days.” — Lily Aldrin

24. “I’ve never asked Lily to do anything ‘no questions asked’ because I never wanted to. She’s the love of my life. I never keep anything from her.” — Marshall Eriksen

25. “I don’t wanna get married right now, maybe ever, and if we got together, I’d feel like I’d either have to marry you or break your heart, and I just couldn’t do either of those things. Just like you can’t turn off the way you feel.” — Robin Scherbatsky

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26. “If you have chemistry, all you need is one other thing — timing. But timing’s a bitch.” — Robin Scherbatsky

27. “That’s love, bitch.” — Lily Aldrin

28. “I used to be in such a hurry all the time. Everything was so urgent. Now I figure, if it’s going to happen, it’ll happen when it happens. I’m not going anywhere; she’s not going anywhere. What’s the rush, right?” — Ted Mosby

29. “If you keep giving up on people so quickly, you’re gonna miss out on something great.” — Robin Scherbatsky

30. “You will be shocked, kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.” — Ted Mosby

31. “Lily, there are a million reasons why I love you. You make me laugh, you take care of me when I’m sick, you’re sweet, caring and you even created an egg dish and named it after me. She puts a little Italian dressing on the eggs before she cooks them, it’s called Eggs Marshall and it’s awesome. But the main reason is you’re my best friend, Lily. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” — Marshall Eriksen

The best How I Met Your Mother quotes from Ted and Robin

32. “I get recognized one time, and I start thinking I’m Julia Roberts. I’m no VIP; I’m not even an IP; I’m just a lonely little P sitting out here in the gutter.” — Robin Scherbatsky

33. “The best I can give you is a fake smile and dead eyes.” — Robin Scherbatsky

34. “Whether a gesture’s charming or alarming depends on how it’s received.” — Ted Mosby

35. “If I ask you to change too many things about yourself, you’re not gonna be the man I fell in love with. Turns out I accept and appreciate even the grossest, creepiest, most sociopathic parts of you.” — Robin Scherbatsky

36. “I really don’t like feelings.” — Robin Scherbatsky

37. “I’m sorry, when I’m excited I abbreviate words I shouldn’t.” — Ted Mosby

38. “I don’t know where I’m gonna be in five years. I don’t wanna know. I want my life to be an adventure.” — Robin Scherbatsky

39. “Shouldn’t we hold out for the person who doesn’t just tolerate our little quirks, but actually kind of likes them?” — Ted Mosby

40. “We spend an hour arguing about where to eat, and we end up here, anyway. I haven’t eaten for two days. Can we please, for the love of God, just order something now?” — Robin Scherbatsky

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41. “The more you fight it, the worse it’s gonna get. It’s like when your car slides on ice, you steer into the skid.” — Ted Mosby

How I Met Your Mother quotes from Lily and Marshall

42. “Somewhere along the line, I forgot to pursue my dream, and now I’m old, and I’m a mom, and it’s just too late for me.” — Lily Aldrin

43. “Definitions are important.” — Lily Aldrin

44. “I’m cuddly. Deal with it.” — Marshall Eriksen

45. “I’m a good boyfriend in my sleep.” — Marshall Eriksen

46. “In marriage, being right is less important than being supportive. Remember: Happy wife equals happy life.” — Lily Aldrin

47. “You have to let me dance my own battles.” — Marshall Eriksen

48. “You’re my best friend. I don’t need objectivity. I just need your support.” — Lily Aldrin

49. “I thought I saw Big Foot in the park, so I tackled him.” — Marshall Eriksen

50. “You can’t design your life like a building, it doesn’t work that way. You just have to live it… and it’ll design itself.” — Lily Aldrin

Which of these How I Met Your Mother quotes is your favorite?

So, why was How I Met Your Mother canceled? It basically came down to the actors moving on and having other projects. The show did run for 9 seasons, which is no small feat!

The spin-off was supposed to air following the show’s end, but creative differences between the writers and CBS crept up. Ultimately, CBS scrapped the project.

However, if you are a fan of the show, you can watch How I Met Your Father (Hulu’s reworked version of How I Met Your Dad). The new show will star Hillary Duff, who plays Sophie. Much like the original, Sophie is recounting the story of how she met her son’s father.

This time the characters are navigating life in the digital age of dating. Isaac Aptaker and Elizabeth Berger (This Is Us alumni) are set as showrunners on HIMYF and exec producers. They will join Bays and Thomas, along with the original series director Pam Fryman who will resume her role.

Are you excited about the new show? Unfortunately, it will be a while until we even see a trailer, so in the meantime, you might want to rewatch How I Met Your Mother!

Did you enjoy reading these How I Met Your Mother quotes and sayings? Do you have any other favorite quotes to add? Let us know in the comment section below.

Stephanie Kirby
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