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Tina Belcher Quotes From The Eldest Child on Bob’s Burgers

These Tina Belcher quotes will give you a pretty good idea of what she is like. A few of them may make you laugh or even feel inspired.

Just who is Tina Belcher? Well, if you are a fan of Bob’s Burgers, the Fox Network’s American sitcom, then you recognized her as the eldest Belcher child. If you haven’t seen Bob’s Burgers, don’t worry.

Tina Belcher is a female character, but she is voiced by Dan Mintz. This helps explain her signature low and monotone voice.

She wears glasses, a sky blue, short-sleeved t-shirt accompanied by a short, navy-blue pencil skirt, and white tube socks with red stripes on the bottom. Her black sneakers, with white tips, and a yellow hair clip on the right side of her head complete her “look”.

She works part-time at the family restaurant. The rest of her time is usually spent being the voice of reason amongst her siblings.

Tina is quite the personality, as you will discover by reading through these Tina Belcher quotes about everything from zombies to romance.

Don’t forget to also check out these Drop Dead Fred quotes from the 90s cult classic about imaginary friends.

Tina Belcher quotes on love, relationships, and picking up guys

1. “I’ve logged over 3,000 fantasy hours on my relationship.” — Tina Belcher

2. “Is it possible to be in love with 25 people at once?” — Tina Belcher

3. “My heart just pooped its pants.” — Tina Belcher

4. “If he has a butt for touching and lips for kissing, I’m going for that.” — Tina Belcher

5. “We can make this work. We can work out a dating wheel, just like a chore wheel. Let ‘s put the try in triangle.” — Tina Belcher

6. “Flirt a little, wink a little.” — Tina Belcher

7. “Here’s a bunch of numbers that may look random, but they’re my phone number.” — Tina Belcher

8. “Brr, it sure is cold in here. I wish some strong, chivalrous man would lend me his jacket” — Tina Belcher

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9. “The hand wants what the hand wants. I can’t tell where your back ends and your butt begins.” — Tina Belcher

10. “Time for the charm bomb to explode.” — Tina Belcher

Inspirational and feminist Tina Belcher quotes

11. “I’m a smart, strong, sensual woman.” — Tina Belcher

12. “Dad, if you believe you’re beautiful, you will be. I did.” — Tina Belcher

13. “I don’t need a boy to pay attention to me. I’ll pay attention to myself.” — Tina Belcher

14. “Don’t hide your ta-tas under a bush.” — Tina Belcher

15. “I’m no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else.” — Tina Belcher

16. “I’m sick of acting like a dumb, helpless girl, so a hot boy who dances his feelings will notice me. That’s not who I am.” — Tina Belcher

17. “Nathan, you might be in this for the wrong reasons, I think we should break up.” — Tina Belcher

18. “No! Stop interpreting! This whole date has been about you, not me! Jimmy Jr., I don’t know if you can understand me, but this is the date I wanted. We’d watch a movie, probably 27 Dresses, then we’d walk along the beach at low tide and find a cozy place to sit in the kelp and kiss.” — Tina Belcher

19. “It’s called fate, and it’s great.” — Tina Belcher

20. “This is the biggest man cave ever, and Tina’s going spelunking.” — Tina Belcher

Funny Tina Belcher quotes

21. “Your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it.” — Tina Belcher

22. “The plots got a lot of holes, but also a ‘hole’ lot of heart.” — Tina Belcher

23. “‘Danger’ is my middle name. But I spell it R-U-T-H.” — Tina Belcher

24. “If boys had uteruses, they’d be called duderuses.” — Tina Belcher

25. “I have a complicated relationship with zombies. They’re dangerous, but I love their swagger.” — Tina Belcher

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26. “Dr. Yap is dreamy. When he’s looking at my molars, it’s like he’s looking into my soul.” — Tina Belcher

27. “That goes in the butt bank.” — Tina Belcher

28. “Marco, what if I told you I was holding a life-threatening amount of tension in my glutes?” — Tina Belcher

29. “Dear Lord Santa, this year, please bless me with a calendar of Australian firefighters holding puppies in a casual setting.” — Tina Belcher

30. “Last year I was a mummy. This year I’m a mommy mummy. I’m raising a child and going to a four-year college, all on my own.” — Tina Belcher

Funny Tina Belcher quotes that are a little weird

31. “Our toaster is also confused. It doesn’t know where bagels go.” — Tina Belcher

32. “If we see any mermaids, I’m gonna ask them where their merginas are.” — Tina Belcher

33. “A no is just a yes, upside down.” — Tina Belcher

34. “Please pass the pepper and try not to crash it into the salt” — Tina Belcher

35. “I’m compiling a list of people I can mate with to repopulate the earth.” — Tina Belcher

36. “Jimmy Jr. had a chance to hitch his trailer to the Tina truck, but now it’s headed down the highway to Joshville. Honk, honk.” — Tina Belcher

37. “Don’t have a crap attack!” — Tina Belcher

38. “I need fresh faces. And fresh butts.” — Tina Belcher

39. “I’ve only dated two and a half boys but I’ve thought about boys and relationships a lot.” — Tina Belcher

40. “Thanks, Dad, you’re the best pimp I’m ever gonna have.” — Tina Belcher

Tina Belcher quotes about who she is and what she likes

41. “Just when I think I’m out, those cheeks pull me right back in.” — Tina Belcher

42. “Oh it’s okay, I guess I wasn’t meant to have a good life.” — Tina Belcher

43. “If you need me I’ll be down here on the floor dying.” — Tina Belcher

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44. “I’m gonna write the most erotic, graphic, freakiest friend fiction ever.” — Tina Belcher

45. “If you wanna dazzle, you gotta take razzles. That’s a dazzling way to say ‘risks.'” — Tina Belcher

46. “I’m not spooked. What’s the next thing after spooked? I’m that.” — Tina Belcher

47. “I want a dry-erase board so I can write down all my private thoughts and then erase them immediately.” — Tina Belcher

48. “Everything I know to be true just went out the window.” — Tina Belcher

49. “I wear glasses, not hearing aids.” — Tina Belcher

50. “I’ll probably be sad for the rest of my life. But besides that, I’m good.” — Tina Belcher

Which of these Tina Belcher quotes is your favorite?

Tina’s plot themes in the show revolve around her transitioning from child to young adult. This is evidenced by her shyness around her peers, and her desire to lead a romantically satisfying life.

You might have noticed from the Tina Belcher quotes that she has a thing for butts. And a complicated relationship with zombies. She also really likes horses and boys and has an on-again-off-again relationship with Jimmy Jr. (the son of Bob’s biggest rival, Jimmy Pesto).

Her siblings attest that Tina has written erotic fanfiction of several television shows and movies. They believed she has moved on to “erotic friend fiction”, in which she uses real-life people.

At the start of the series, Tina was aged 12 but since the episode “Sheesh! Cab, Bob?” has been 13. She sings songs about puberty in a club at school, called the Hormone-iums. She doesn’t really do all that great in school, and there is even an episode where the guidance counselor calls her a “dum-dum.”

What do you like most about Bob’s Burgers or Tina Belcher? Do you have any other favorite Tina Belcher quotes and sayings to add? Let us know using the comment section below.

Danielle Dahl, Lead Contributor
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