We all have inner conflicts.
Inner conflicts are similar to a tug-of-war between your brain, body, and spirit.
If you have ever heard yourself say I struggle with my weight, saving money, parenting, expressing my feelings, or just plain having fun, then you know what it means to experience an inner conflict.
It is almost as if your mind wants to keep running old scripts and habits while your spirit is eager to create new ones.
Without awareness, your body is likely to get caught in the middle of this heated exchange.
You might experience this as a push, pull feeling.
Part of you may want to allow change, while another resists it.
In daily life, this dynamic gets played out through conflict, frustration, insecurity, tension, and reactivity.
Sure, you could blame it on your circumstances.
If it weren’t for the holidays, I would have never eaten that chocolate cake, or if only I had more support, I could have done better on that assignment.
You could also project it on the people around you by focusing on their faults and weaknesses.
However, as you might have already noticed, this rarely does the trick.
Inner conflicts and how they impact our lives
Inner conflicts typically begin with statements such as I am sick of, I always, or I am tired of …
It is not unusual for them to be accompanied by some jaw-clenching, occasional rant, or foot stomp.
They can also be more subtle.
For example, you might ramp yourself up with excitement about your plan to exercise and eat right.
You automatically succumb to defeat when you miss a few exercise classes.
Inner struggles weaken your self-esteem by strengthening your ego.
The ego is the part of you that buys into failure, mistakes, and brokenness.
On the other hand, your spirit doesn’t need to buy into anything because it already sees you as having everything you need.
The key is to align yourself in mind, body, and spirit.
This alignment allows your spirit to fully enter your body, which inevitably impacts how you see and respond to your environment.
Below are some insights and tips that can help you break free from this separation cycle.
It is the separation that feeds the struggle.
As you become connected, you no longer have a need to be something different.
Instead, you are guided to love who you are; with that often comes internal and external shifts.
Ways to manage your inner conflicts
1. Conflicts are based on illusion.
Illusion happens when we become attached to what is not real.
You may think this body fat is real to me; however, science proves what you see is only a fraction of what is.
You are far more than your appearance or body.
Struggles are your body’s attempt at reminding you of this.
2. Inner struggles often indicate the areas of your life you are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.
Consider putting yourself at ease by engaging your body more than your mind.
One way to do this is through conscious breathing.
Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose while placing your feet firmly on the ground, do this for a few rounds until you feel more centered.
3. Surrender your will.
When we attempt to push through our struggles, we end up feeling exhausted.
Surrender doesn’t mean you are giving up.
It means you are giving yourself permission to embrace the energy as is.
Energy serves you best when it is in motion.
Holding on through sheer will eventually depletes your energy.
The struggle often happens because your mind expels a lot of energy, and your body is exhausted.
The struggle is actually your body’s attempt at getting it back.
4. Struggle happens when we are giving more than we are receiving.
For example, when you give all your attention to someone else’s needs or you attempt to take on extra responsibilities, your body will eventually have something to say about this.
This is because giving without taking time to receive is like telling your spirit to keep away.
Your spirit is the part of you that illuminates your resilience, strength, and potential.
You must exercise your ability to receive to connect with this aspect of yourself.
Receiving is how your spirit becomes integrated into your physical body.
5. To become more skilled at receiving, you must give yourself permission to feel.
Your feelings show up as sensations in your body.
Consider taking a slow, deep inhale through your nose (inflating your abdomen) and an exhale through your nose (deflating the abdomen).
At the end of the exhale, pause and observe your bodily sensation.
This is what it feels like to receive.
6. Give up the good vs. bad mentality.
This mindset sets you up for gaining relief from the good while being drained by the bad.
See everything as a choice, even your perceived “mistakes” or mishaps.
Mistakes also create excellent opportunities to learn something new.
Embrace your inner struggle
We all have conflicts within ourselves.
Learning how to leverage them will lead to a much more peaceful life.
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