20 Hilarious Life of Brian Quotes

Fans of Monty Python will love these Life of Brian quotes!

Monty Python’s Life of Brian is a British comedy movie released in 1979 and directed by Terry Jones.

The movie was written and starred in by the Monty Python comedy group comprising Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin, and Eric Idle.

The movie’s funding was withdrawn a few days before production, but fan and former Beatle member George Harrison arranged financing so the movie could be produced.

The movie was controversial upon its release but did great at the box office, becoming the 4th highest-grossing movie in the United Kingdom in 1979.

The movie’s popularity has continued, with several magazines and television networks calling it the greatest comedy film of all time.

Enjoy these Life of Brian quotes!

You will also enjoy our article on Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes.

Classic Life of Brian Quotes

These Life of Brian quotes are some of the most classic from the movie!

1. “You’ve got to think for your selves! You’re ALL individuals!” – Brian

2. “I’m not the Messiah! Will you please listen?” – Brian

3. “He’s a very naughty boy! Now, piss off!” – Brian’s mother

4. “I’m Brian, and so’s my wife!” – Gregory

5. “Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this!” – Pontius Pilate

6. “There’s no Messiah in here. There’s a mess all right, but no Messiah.” – Brian’s mother

7. “He wanks as high as any in Wome!” – Pontius Pilate

8. “We are three wise men.” – Wise Man #1

9. “Half a dinare for me bloody life story?” – Ex-Leper

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10. “Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?” – Pontius Pilate

Memorable Life of Brian Quotes

You are sure to remember these quotes from the movie!

11. “You’ve had a hard time? I’ve been here five years; they only hung me the right way up yesterday.” – Ben

12. “Stwike him, Centuwion. Stwike him vewy wuffly!” – Pontius Pilate

13. “If you want to join the People’s Front of Judea, you have to really hate the Romans.” – Reg

14. “We are the Judean People’s Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!” – Suicide Squad Leader

15. “There is not one of us who would not gladly suffer death to rid this country of the Romans once and for all.” – Reg

16. “Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say: some things in life are bad.” – Lead Singer Crucifee

17. “I warned you. I’m going to punch you so hard, you Roman git!” – Mr. Big Nose

18. “What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that.” – Pontius Pilate

19. “I said, don’t pass judgment on others or you might be judged yourself.” – Brian

20. “All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the freshwater system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?” – Reg

Life of Brian Plot

The movie’s plot is humorous and follows a man named Brian, who was born in the stable next door to Jesus and is mistaken for the Messiah throughout his life.

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As Brian grows, he resents the Roman Empire that occupies Judea and tries to start an uprising that will defeat the Romans.

In the end, Brian is sentenced to death, and even though his friends hilariously try to free him, he is condemned to death while his fellow sufferers sing “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.”

Please share these Life of Brian quotes with your friends that love Monty Python, and share your favorite scene in the comments.

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