How To Avoid The Common Misunderstandings that Will Ruin Any Relationship

Miscommunication in relationships usually results in misunderstandings and arguments.

Learn how to avoid them with the tips below.

To keep misunderstandings to a minimum, in any relationship, it boils down to the C-word: communication.

Say what you mean; mean what you say; just don’t be mean about it.

If a couple is going to maintain a happy and healthy relationship over the long haul, both must learn to speak calmly from a place of love and truth, armed with facts, and NOT from a place of over-the-top emotions.

Miscommunication in relationships happens often.

Understanding what causes them can help you avoid common misunderstandings – and keep each other happy.

How To Avoid 4 Common Misunderstandings By Miscommunication In Relationships:

1. Assuming You’re in a Committed Relationship

miscommunication in relationships

Many of my clients assume they’re in a committed relationship – yet, they’ve never actually had “The Talk.”

To commit or not to commit is a topic that needs to be discussed sooner rather than later.

How to Avoid This Misunderstanding:

If you want a monogamous relationship, then stating that from the get-go is paramount.

Simply say: 

“I don’t date people who are dating other people. I don’t want drama or disease. So, if you want to see me, then see only me.”  

This way, you won’t be in for any major surprises later.

If you’re the one who’s been assuming that your partner sees you and only you, you might find yourself shocked to learn that this wasn’t the case after all.

If you want a committed relationship, put all your cards on the table.

State that fact right from the start.

Then, there can be no misunderstandings in the future about this important issue.

2. Texting as Your Main Way of Communicating

miscommunication in relationships

Texting is a great way to:

  • let your partner know that you’re running late
  • to confirm things
  • to exchange quick, loving sentiments throughout the day (such as I love you, I miss you, I can’t wait to see you, etc.).
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However, way too many of today’s couples use SMS to communicate with each other.

Instead of calling each other, which is a much more effective, personal, and romantic way of interacting, they spend hours texting back and forth.

When two people text, a lot can get lost in translation.

This can often lead to miscommunication and people getting defensive in relationships, not to mention quarrels and outright fights.

Often, couples say mean or harsh things via SMS that they would never say to each other in person or over the phone.

I call this “textual abuse.”

How to Avoid This Misunderstanding:

A simple solution to this 21st Century’s relationship buzz kill is for couples to agree to talk to each other in person about important issues and to FaceTime or phone each other with everyday basic communication issues.

Reserve texting for brief interactions or to send short, sweet, loving messages to each other.

Couples need to remember how much they love the sounds of each other’s voices.

They need to recall how intimate it feels to look deep into each other’s eyes when talking.

This kind of real communication goes a long way to cement your relationship.

3. Who will pay for What, When, and How?

miscommunication in relationships

Studies show that the number one thing couples dread talking about is money.

Money represents different things to every one of us.

This is part of the reason we have so much trouble talking about it without fighting.

For some of us, money means success.

For others, it represents security.

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Still, some associate it with power or the ability to feel in control.

Some believe money is for saving, while others feel it’s for spending.

Money is a loaded issue, and that’s one thing we can all agree on.

Money fights, or what I refer to as “fiscal infidelity,” occurs when one partner learns the other partner has “cheated” on him or her in monetary matters.

Whether this person is guilty (lying about how much money he or she makes, claiming he or she can’t find work, gambling, spending too much, abusing drugs, or helping other family members without his or her partner’s consent) doesn’t matter.

In the end, fiscal infidelity causes people to feel that they’ve been deceived and taken advantage of.

How to Avoid This Misunderstanding:

To avoid horrific miscommunication in relationships regarding money issues, couples need to learn to talk openly about who pays for what, when, and how, as well as all money matters.

If money issues were at the heart of many of your parents’ battles, even broaching this topic can make you feel you’re entering a war zone.

For this reason, you may have dealt with this painful emotional issue by simply denying its very existence.

Think again if you’ve been telling yourself that you’re taking the high road, claiming that love has nothing to do with money.

The inability to resolve money differences ranks high on “the why I got a divorce list,” and “the why we broke up list.”

Just remember to stay focused and stick to the financial facts.

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Vow to be honest and open with each other in the future about all things financial.

4. Speaking to Each Other in Unkind Ways

miscommunication in relationships
Image credits to Vic via

A lot of miscommunication in relationships happens when couples start talking to each other in ways that they wouldn’t talk to anyone else in the world.

For instance, when you speak, your voice has a nasty edge.

Or one or both of you nags, whines has little or no patience for the other, screams, sulks, or gives the silent treatment regularly.

If this behavior continues long enough, you might fall out of “liking” each other.

Once that happens – the relationship is doomed.

How To Avoid This Misunderstanding:

Unless you’re a “Real Housewife,” most of us don’t curse out our friends, judge them harshly, demand perfection, ridicule, or criticize them.

If we did that, we’d have no friends.

You just need to practice a little behavior modification, which boils down to this: watch your words.

Stop shooting bullets from your mouth.

Think before you speak.

Words used as weapons will inevitably destroy a relationship in record time.

Hurtful things shouted out in anger often leave marks too deep to be erased.

Remember to cut your mate some slack.

Be kind.

Say please and thank you.

Build each other up.

Be each other’s biggest fan.

You’re on the same team.

This simple change—treating your lover like your friend—can go a long way towards keeping miscommunication in relationships to a minimum and making YOUR relationship a happy, healthy, and long-lasting one.

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