10 What Men Want in Women & Relationships

What men want can seem like quite the puzzle, but don’t worry, we will help you put the pieces together.

Over 40 percent of the adult population in America is single, which is not much different from other countries.

You can panic about this, knowing that you’re one of them.

Or, you can look at the bright side: a giant pool of singles is waiting for you.

Getting a man to fall for you isn’t nearly as difficult as you think.

But making him want to stay after the infatuation stage of intense attraction is a whole different story.

After that, you’re scratching the surface and getting to know each other, hoping you’ll find something you like.

There are so many discussions about what women want.

But let us see what men want to discover when they scratch that surface.

Below you will discover 10 qualities of what men want in a woman that will make them want to stay.

1. Attractiveness and Self-Confidence (Two Sides of the Same Coin)

Let us get this one off the table: men like attractive women, but that doesn’t mean they’re animals.

Attractiveness doesn’t have to be merely about physical appearance.

After they get to know a woman, what men want, is a woman who loves herself.

So yes, ladies, the greatest attractiveness lies in your confidence.

And that is what we like to call mental attractiveness.

#2. Intelligence

After you’re done with most of the “getting to know each other” conversations, you will have to have some other topics to talk about, or else you’ll be bored.

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By intelligence, we don’t mean having a Ph.D. in nuclear physics.

However, a good grasp of common sense and general awareness of current events is a good starting point.

A clever woman is the one that he’ll gladly introduce to his friends and family, and that surely signals that he wants to stay.

What Men Want #3. A Woman Who Is Mature but Playful

Even though women mature quicker than men, the trends in the last couple of decades and the celebrity role models make this process slower.

We can see women in their 30s snapping selfies and acting childish.

This can be interesting for a month, tops.

After that, it is simply tasteless.

Maturity comes with experience, suffering, and leaving childhood behind.

That doesn’t mean that you should lose your playfulness, though.

Stay competitive, but only in casual games.

#4. Honesty

Of course, you won’t tell him everything there is to know about you on the first date.

But don’t lie.

If you’re going to stay together, eventually, he’ll find out.

Instead of lying about some things you can’t tell him, just say you are not ready to share that with him, but one day you will be.

Lying, even about the tiniest things, makes men feel insecure – and an insecure man won’t stick around.

#5. Trust

Mutual trust is the basis of a healthy relationship.

If you are honest, you deserve his trust.

If he’s doing everything within his power to earn yours, you shouldn’t spend your days asking, “Does he love me.”

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Men don’t like insecure women.

They especially hate feeling like they’re sitting on the defendant’s bench when explaining where they have been and what they have been doing.

What men want is someone they can trust and who trusts them in return.

What Men Want #6. Independence

We live in an age when women are expected to take care of themselves: financially, socially, and physically.

So, if you think it is cute that you don’t know how to change a lightbulb, think again.

The fact that you have your own life, friends, and interests will attract him more over time, as he can do the same.

7. Respect

And by respect, we mean respect for yourself, your man, and others.

Respecting yourself means being aware of who you are, appreciating that, and not letting anyone put you down.

You will show your significant other respect by listening to what he has to say, taking his opinions seriously, and valuing your time together and the time he spends at work or with his friends.

Finally, show respect to everyone, especially his friends and family.

Being seen yelling at the server for getting you cold coffee is everything but attractive.

8. Affection

Humans are emotional beings; no, men didn’t come from Mars.

They, too, like it when someone shows affection for them.

It is warm, welcoming, and encouraging.

Just like women, what men want is someone to grab their hands, hug them, and tell them that everything will be OK, even when nothing is.

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9. Decisiveness

If you answer the question “Where do you want to go tonight?” with “It’s up to you” after your third date, he’ll probably think of you as clingy and indecisive.

And that is such a turnoff for guys.

When they see a woman who doesn’t know what to do when faced with the most trivial choices, they imagine a future with an overly dependent woman.

And that is the future they want to run away from.

What Men Want #10. A Sense of Humor

Women are not the only ones who like it when someone makes them laugh.

Men enjoy that, too.

Don’t be afraid to show your true self; being goofy is OK, especially after you pass the first stage of a relationship.

Laugh, enjoy life, and have a great time everywhere (even in the grocery store); your future together will be amazing.

What do you think men want the most?

When looking for romance, don’t simply focus on what men want.

The most important conclusion is to be who you are and love it.

Everything else is a matter of time or practice.

Tell us what you think men want in the comment section below!

We would love to hear your thoughts.

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3 Comments
  1. Jessica K.A.

    February 9, 2022 at 3:44 AM

    Both valid points^ But the article stands correct and valid to both. Freedom “Independence” and self love is the only shot we have at a happy life., albeit love life. It’s non binary or role suggestive. It’s a relationship, everything is circumstantial and relies upon intent. If two people support, love and respect each other, chances are they do the same for themselves. That’s sustainable. Love can last forever but it’s work and compromisation.
    Is the juice worth the squeeze? If you’ve been in love, the squeeze is usually worth the juice.

  2. Pepper Austin

    July 26, 2019 at 1:47 PM

    I find it infinately amusing that a woman writes an article about what men want. That might be the reason why it is so completely skewed and off center. Here is the reality ladies, like it or not, if you get a gorup of guys together discussing this topic 99 out of 100 will agree that the one thing that a man wants from a woman more than any other trait, more than any other perk, more than any other habit is LOYALTY. A man wants a woman who is at his side, an encourager, at his worst times and at his best times. If he is fighting demons, and you are on the couch binge watching The Bachelor, you become the demon. Stay with him, mentaly, emotionaly, physicaly, and your loyalty will be rewarded because only then do you become completely invaluable to him.

    • Nikki

      September 28, 2019 at 3:11 PM

      Women (I’m referring to most) are loyal to a fault,especially women of color. However, man still treat them like the dirt on the bottom of their shoes by cheating,abusing,and neglecting them. So please, miss us with the “we want loyalty” bulls&#t.

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