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50 Bull Durham Quotes From The Comedy Sports Film

Bull Durham is a unique movie as it spans several genres. The 1988 film is a romantic comedy sports film, which are words you don’t normally see strewn together!

It is also partly based on the true minor-league baseball experiences of writer/director Ron Shelton. The movie depicts the players and fans of the Durham Bulls, a minor-league baseball team in Durham, North Carolina.

The movie also features some iconic 80 actors like Kevin Costner, as Crash Davis, the veteran catcher who is brought on the team to mentor rookie pitcher, Ebby “Nuke” LaLoosh (played by Tim Robbins). Susan Sarandon also stars as Annie Savoy, the baseball groupie. These Bull Durham quotes from Annie Savoy will make you laugh, as will some of the inappropriate quotes that made this movie a little risque for the time period.

The plot follows the relationship between Annie and Ebby, despite her increasing attraction to Crash. Annie is quite the character―she is a lifelong spiritual seeker who has dabbled in lots of different religions and is currently latched onto the “Church of Baseball.”

bill durham quotes

Every year, she chooses a player from the Durham Bulls to be her new lover. She also teaches them poetry and classic literature, while having them tied to her bed. This movie doesn’t skimp on the romance, the comedy, or the sports factor.

Keep reading through these Bull Durham quotes to learn things about this movie you might not have known before.

Bull Durham quotes from Annie Savoy

1. “The world is made for people who aren’t cursed with self-awareness.” ― Annie Savoy

2. “These are the ground rules. I hook up with one guy a season. Usually takes me a couple weeks to pick the guy – kinda my own spring training. And, well, you two are the most promising prospects of the season so far, so I just thought we should kinda get to know each other.” ― Annie Savoy

3. “Well, actually, nobody on this planet ever really chooses each other. I mean, it’s all a question of quantum physics, molecular attraction, and timing. Why, there are laws we don’t understand that bring us together and tear us apart.” ― Annie Savoy

4. “You get three ants together, they can’t do dick. You get 300 million of them, they can build a cathedral.” ― Annie Savoy

5. “Honey, you are a regular nuclear meltdown. You better cool off.” ― Annie Savoy

6. “Honey, we all deserve to wear white.” ― Annie Savoy

7. “Listen, sweetheart, you shouldn’t listen to what a woman says when she’s in the throes of passion. They say the darndest things.” ― Annie Savoy

8. “You see, there’s a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds.” ― Annie Savoy

9. “It’s a long season and you gotta trust. I’ve tried ’em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.” ― Annie Savoy

10. “Cute? Baby ducks are cute, I HATE cute! I want to be exotic, and mysterious!” ― Annie Savoy

Inspiration Bull Durham quotes about rainouts, striking out, and shutouts

11. “Relax, all right? Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls―it’s more democratic.” ― Crash Davis

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12. “This son of a bitch is throwing a two-hit shutout. He’s shaking me off. You believe that shit? Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.” ― Crash Davis

13. “What we need is a rainout.” ― Ballplayer

14. “I can get us a rainout.” ― Crash Davis

15. “A hundred bucks says I can get us a rainout for tomorrow.” ― Crash Davis

16. [After turning on the sprinklers] “Oh my goodness! We got ourselves a natural disaster!” ― Crash Davis

17. “A good friend of mine used to say, “This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.” Think about that for a while.” ― Ebby Calvin LaLoosh

18. Joe Reardon: He walked 18.

Larry: New league record!

Joe Reardon: Struck out 18.

Larry: Another new league record! In addition, he hit the sportswriter, the public address

announcer, the bull mascot twice…

Larry: Also new league records! But, Joe, this guy’s got some serious sh*t.

19. [thinking] “Alright, you’ve seen all his pitches. You’ve seen them all. Shorten up, Crash. Bring me the gas, kid. Bring me the gas. Bring me the gas. Quick bat, quick bat, quick bat.” (Swings and misses for strike three.) ― Crash Davis

Bull Durham quotes about various things the characters believe

20. “After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don’t try out. Besides, uh, I don’t believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart.” ― Crash Davis

21. “Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap.” ― Crash Davis

22. “I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter.” ― Crash Davis

23. “I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” ― Crash Davis

24. “I believe in the Church of Baseball. I’ve tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I’ve worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn’t work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me.” ― Annie Savoy

25. “Never f— with a winning streak.” ― Crash Davis

26. “We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose’s glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present.” ― Crash Davis

27. “You just got lesson number one: don’t think; it can only hurt the ball club.” ― Crash Davis

Inappropriate Bull Durham quotes about sex and other things

28. “Sometimes when I’ve got a ballplayer alone, I’ll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. ‘Course, a guy’ll listen to anything if he thinks it’s foreplay.” ― Annie Savoy

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29. “Honey, would you rather I were making love to him using your name, or making love to you using his name?” ― Annie Savoy

30. “Well, he fucks like he pitches – sorta all over the place.” ― Millie

31. Crash Davis: I never told him to stay out of your bed.

Annie Savoy: You most certainly did.

Crash Davis: I never told him to stay out of your bed.

Annie Savoy: Yes you did.

Crash Davis: I told him that a player on a streak has to respect the streak.

Annie Savoy: Oh fine.

Crash Davis: You know why? Because they don’t – -they don’t happen very often.

Annie Savoy: Right.

32. Crash Davis: If you believe you’re playing well because you’re getting laid, or because

you’re not getting laid, or because you wear women’s underwear, then you

ARE! And you should know that!

Crash Davis: Come on, Annie, think of something clever to say, huh? Something full of

magic, religion, bullshit. Come on, dazzle me.

Annie Savoy: I want you.

33. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: The other day Crash called a woman’s pu… p*ssy… um, well, you

know how the hair is kind of in a V-shape?

Annie Savoy: Yes, I do.

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Well, he called it the Bermuda Triangle. He said that a man could

get lost in there and never be heard from again.

34. “What’s this guy know anyway? If he’s so great how come he’s been in the minors for ten years? If he’s so good how come Annie wants me instead of him?” ― Ebby Calvin LaLoosh

35. “Oh, hey, and another thing, Meat. You don’t know shit, all right? If you wanna make it to the bigs, you’ll listen to me. Annie only wants you so she can boss you around, got it? So relax! Let’s have some fun out here! This game’s fun, OK? Fun goddamnit.” ― Crash Davis

36. Crash Davis: “Hit me in the chest with that.”

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: “I’d kill you!”

Crash Davis: “Yeah? From what I hear, you couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a fucking

Boat.”

37. Crash Davis: “Well, he really hit the shit outta that one, didn’t he?”

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: “I held it like an egg.”

Crash Davis: “Yeah, and he scrambled the son of a bitch. Look at that, he hit the fucking

bull! Guy gets a free steak!”

Bull Durham quotes about baseball and other witty remarks

38. “You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you, Larry?” ― Skip

39. “Don’t hold the ball so hard, OK? It’s an egg. Hold it like an egg.” ― Crash Davis

40. “God, that sucker teed off on that like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball!” ― Ebby Calvin LaLoosh

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41. “Man, that ball got outta here in a hurry. I mean anything travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it, don’t you think?” ― Crash Davis

42. “Okay, well, uh… candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she’s registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let’s get two! Go get ’em.” ― Larry

43. “You’re gonna have to learn your clichés. You’re gonna have to study them, you’re gonna have to know them. They’re your friends. Write this down: ‘We gotta play it one day at a time.’” ― Crash Davis

44. “I don’t hit no man first.” ― Ebby Calvin LaLoosh

45. “Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You’ll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes.” ― Crash Davis

46. “Think classy, you’ll be classy. If you win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press’ll think you’re colorful. Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you are a slob.” ― Crash Davis

47. “Because you don’t respect yourself, which is your problem. But you don’t respect the game, and that’s my problem. You got a gift.” ― Crash Davis

48. “You got a gift. When you were a baby, the Gods reached down and turned your right arm into a thunderbolt. You got a Hall-of-Fame arm, but you’re pissing it away.” ― Crash Davis

49. “Come on, Rook. Show us that million-dollar arm, ’cause I got a good idea about that five-cent head of yours.” ― Crash Davis

50. “You be cocky and arrogant, even when you’re getting beat. That’s the secret. You gotta play this game with fear and arrogance.” ― Crash Davis

Crash and Annie help shape Ebby into a powerhouse pitcher who ends up getting picked up by the major league. This makes Crash jealous and angry, especially because Crash believes that Ebby is not grateful for the natural talent he has been blessed with. Ebby moves on and Annie ends their relationship.

The Bulls release Crash as there is now no one for him to mentor. Crash shows up on Annie’s doorstep and the pair finally get together. However, after the weekend ends, Crash moves on to join another minor league team, where he breaks the minor league record for career home runs.

It wouldn’t be a successful romantic comedy without a happy ending, which is what we get when Crash retires as a player and returns to Durham. Annie tells him she is ready to stop having a new affair each year and the pair dance to a candle-lit living room.

A real-life relationship between Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins started on set, and the pair were together for years. The movie was also going to be called The Player to Be Named Later, which comes from a line of Kevin Costner’s during the movie.

The film, which was a commercial success, was turned down by nearly every major studio. If you have any other fun facts about Bill Durham let us know in the comment section below.

Danielle Dahl, Lead Contributor
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