25 Blades of Glory Quotes From the Hilarious Movie

If you are looking for a quick laugh, you will enjoy these Blades of Glory quotes!

Blades of Glory is a sports comedy movie released in 2007 and directed by Will Speck and Josh Gordon.

The movie stars Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Will Arnett, and Amy Poehler, among other talented actors.

When the movie was released, it was met with mostly positive reviews, and it grossed over $145 million at the box office against a $61 million budget.

The movie’s plot follows rival figure skaters Chazz Michael Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy.

They are complete opposites, with Chazz being a sex addict and self-taught skater, while Jimmy is shy and has been trained by professionals.

Enjoy reading these Blades of Glory quotes for some laughs and to learn more about the movie.

You will also enjoy our article on Hitch quotes.

Hilarious Blades of Glory quotes

Check out some of the funniest quotes from the movie.

1. “This guy could not hold my jock sweat.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

2. “Better step aside homeschool; there’s a new Sheriff in town.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

3. “I see you still look like a fifteen-year-old girl.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

4. “I’m getting sick; you smell like aftershave and taco meat!” — Jimmy

5. “Not only did we embarrass Marky Mark, we let down the Funky Bunch.” — Stranz Van Waldenberg

6. “No exaggeration, I could not love a human baby more than I love this brush.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

7. “We’re gonna dance to one song, and one song only: “Lady Humps” by the Blackeyed Peas.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

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8. “You are going to eat together, sleep together. You’re going to file a joint income tax return.” — Coach

9. “They laughed at Louis Armstrong when he said he was gonna go to the moon. Now he’s up there, laughing at them.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

10. “Hey, MacElroy, was that your routine or a performance of Cirque de So Lame? Besides, you’re too late; they already handed out the girls’ medals this morning.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

Classic Blades of Glory quotes

Here are some of the classic quotes from the movie.

11. “You ruined my dreams!” — Jimmy

12. “I never had a father, okay, but I don’t care because now I’ve got a brother.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

13. “I don’t share anything. The night is a very dark time for me.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

14. “And no one can lift your fat a.., you’re on a diet starting now.” — Coach

15. “I hope you’ve brought your silver polish, MacElroy, ’cause that was gold.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

16. “This ice has not been properly Zamboned! Where’s the warm-down room?” — Jimmy

17. “I don’t want to close my eyes, don’t want to fall asleep cause I miss you, Jimmy, and I don’t wanna miss a thing.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

18. “You’re living in the past, Sammi. Me and the Woodland Fairies, we’re living in the HERE and NOW.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

19. “I see you have learned to work the Google on the internet machine.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

20. “Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?” — Chazz Michael Michaels

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More of the best Blades of Glory quotes

21. “Hi, it’s Jimmy! If you can dream it, you can do it!” — Jimmy

22. “All right, this has got to stop right now. From here on out, you guys are a team.” — Coach

23. “If we went to a Halloween party as Batman and Robin, I’d go as Robin. That’s how much you mean to me.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

24. “It’s so much more satisfying in the eyes of a small child, seeing that wonder, as they see you skate out there with a big wizard’s head on.” — Chazz Michael Michaels

25. “Maybe if you concentrate on the skating, people will forget all the hype, and they’ll focus on the purity of the sport and the spirit of honest competition.” — Katie Van Waldenberg

What Happens to Chazz and Jimmy’s Rivalry?

Chazz and Jimmy end up fighting at the World Winter Sports Games, and they are stripped of their medals and banned for life.

They are both devastated, and their lives fall apart over the next three years.

At that point, a coach helps them understand they are only banned from singles events, and if they are willing to work together, they can enter and win the pairs event.

Through hilarious turbulence, the two become friends, compete, and win the pairs event.

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