50 Codependency Quotes For Relationship Clarity

Are you looking for codependency quotes?

If so, please take a moment to check out our inspirational and informational codependency quotes. 

What is codependency?

Codependency is an emotional and behavioral condition that impacts a person’s ability to have satisfying or healthy relationships. 

Codependent people may exhibit the following behaviors:

• Chronic anger
• Lying/dishonesty
• Poor communication skills
• Difficulty making decisions

Initially, codependency was used to describe people in relationships with a partner with a chemical dependency or addiction. 

Some applied the term to people who were in relationships with partners who were mentally ill. 

Nowadays, the term applies to any codependent person in a dysfunctional family or relationship. 

People who are codependent form one-sided relationships. 

These relationships are often abusive or destructive, making some refer to codependency as relationship addiction. 

Codependency is learned behavior.

Behavior and traits can be passed down from one generation to another. 

Codependency can affect anyone regardless of their title.

It can impact a spouse, friend, sibling, colleague, parent, or anyone with an addiction. 

Check out this article to learn more about what co-dependency is.

How does a codependent person behave?

Trauma and dysfunction can lead to codependency. 

As a result, codependents exhibit low self-esteem and look for things outside of themselves for comfort. 

Often codependents overindulge in drugs, nicotine, alcohol, sex, gambling, or other compulsive behaviors. 

It is difficult for codependents to be themselves because they do not like who they are. 

A person can be codependent and have great intentions. 

Many of them want to help people who are going through tough times. 

Codependents can take on the role of the martyr, but their desire to help becomes compulsive and eventually toxic. 

People have positive intentions all of the time while engaging in codependent behavior.

A few examples of codependency with positive intentions may include:

• A mother making excuses for a truant child.
• A partner covering for their alcoholic husband or wife.  
• A father “pulls strings” so a child avoids the consequences of negative behavior. 

Helping people is always good, but how we help people and our intentions behind the help we provide are essential factors to consider. 

In many cases, it is easy for the person who wishes to help to end up encouraging the negative behavior of the person they want to help. 

Once that happens, the connection can deteriorate into a relationship based on one party needing to be saved and the other desiring to feel needed.

For more great content, check out our codependency quotes below. 

Short codependency quotes 

Here are some short codependency quotes for you to consider. 

1. “I am codependent no more.” — Susan Juby

2. “If you are alive and conscious, you are probably codependent.” — Susan Juby

3. “Being married, I would say most relationships are pretty codependent in some ways.” — Rene Russo 

4. “When a codependent is drowning, somebody else`s life flashes before his eyes.” — Stephen King 

5. “But codependency is inappropriate, over the top loyalty, caring and supportiveness.” — David Stafford 

6. “Being codependent means that when you die, someone else’s life passes before your eyes.” — Barbara Johnson

7. “In all codependent relationships, the rescuer needs the victim as much as the victim needs the rescuer.” — Barbara De Angelis

8. “Tell me what you want, and then I’ll put in what I want after I’m done with my codependent providing for you, I’ll get a little for me too.” — Andy Richter

9. “What we see changes what we know. What we know changes what we see. Perception, belief, action, and change are codependent.” — John Paul Caponigro

10. “In the future, if my mother tries to shame me with her disapproval, I will let her know in no uncertain terms that I reject her and all of her codependent baggage.” — Susan Juby

Addiction and codependency quotes 

Codependency is closely related to addictive behavior. 

11. “An over-indulgence of anything, even something as pure as water, can intoxicate.” — Criss Jami 

12. “There’s always something in it for the person who is allowing to be taken advantage of.” — P.A. Speers 

13. “There’s always something in it for the person who is allowing to be taken advantage of.” — P.A. Speers 

14. “But codependency is inappropriate, over—the—top loyalty, caring and supportiveness.” — David Stafford 

15. “It is one thing to know about your dysfunctional habits but quite another to change them.” — David W. Earle  

16. “Addiction is a relationship, a pathological relationship in which obsession replaces people.” — Patrick Carnes  

17. “Addiction begins with the hope that something out there can instantly fill up the emptiness inside.” — Jean Kilbourne 

18. “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” — Brene Brown

19. “Addiction is just a little hiding place where sensitive people can go so we don’t have to be touched by love or pain.” — Glennon Doyle Melton 

20. “Addiction is the dominant form of a culture that suffers from a superficial spectacle and celebrity connectivity at its center. It’s a form of spiritual emptiness.” — Cornel West 17

Codependency quotes by Melody Beattie 

These quotes come from author and self-help advocate Melody Beattie. 

21. “Codependency is about normal behaviors taken too far. It`s about crossing lines.” — Melody Beattie 

22. “Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay.” — Melody Beattie 

23. “What’s a codependent? The answer’s easy. They’re some of the most loving, caring people I know.” — Melody Beattie

24. “Your codependency becomes your problem; solving your problems is your responsibility.” — Melody Beattie, Codependent No More

25. “If you want to get rid of codependency, you have to do something to make it go away. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is.” — Melody Beattie

26. “A codependent person is one who has let another person`s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person`s behavior.” — Melody Beattie 

27. “Once they have been affected, once “it” sets in, codependency takes on a life of its own. It is similar to catching pneumonia or picking up a destructive habit. Once you’ve got it, you’ve got it.” — Melody Beattie

28. “It’s hard to give up the self—esteem connected to being codependent and appearing ‘right,’ which is probably a survival behavior learned from growing up in a crazy family. It feels like you will actually disappear.” — Melody Beattie

29. “Codependents are reactionaries. They overreact. They under-react. But rarely do they act. They react to the problems, pains, lives, and behaviors of others. They react to their own problems, pains, and behaviors.” — Melody Beattie

30. “I gave three years of my life to take care of my dying mother, who had Alzheimer’s disease. Being there for her every need for three years might have looked codependent, but it wasn’t because it was what I wanted to do.” — Melody Beattie

Insightful codependency quotes 

Here we have a wide selection of quotes from various authors. 

31. “Allowing others to suffer the consequences of their own actions, without enabling them, is the best motivation for them to undertake the difficult task of change.” ― Darlene Lancer

32. “I’m obsessed with my cat. We have a really strong, really weird, codependent, almost Bella/Edward relationship. I’m going to be a crazy cat lady one day, I’m sure.” — Kristen Stewart

33. “However, false guilt is rooted in deception, denial, and dysfunction. It is directly connected to our destructive and codependent relationship with a narcissist.” — Dana Arcuri, Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, Soul Rescue

34. “I learned again and again in my life until you get your own act together, you’re not ready for Big Love. What you’re ready for is one of those codependent relationships where you desperately need a partner.” ―  Bruce H. Lipton

35. “Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.” ― Audrey Kitchin

36. “No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There’s only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to do it. And there’s only one time it will happen: When they decide they’re ready.” ― Lori Deschene

37. “When we let go of our reactions and detach from other people’s moods, actions, and words, we take back our power. Instead of reactors, we become self-determined actors in our lives. We take charge of ourselves and decide how we act in that moment and every moment, skyrocketing our self-esteem” ― Darlene Lancer, Codependency for Dummies

38. “Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself. No one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are completely; the good and the bad, and make changes as you see fit, not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” ― Stacey Charter

39. “Most of our suffering comes from resisting what is already here, particularly our feelings. All any feeling wants is to be welcomed, touched, allowed. It wants attention. It wants kindness. If you treated your feelings with as much love as you treated your dog or your cat or your child, you’d feel as if you were living in heaven every day of your sweet life.” ― Geneen Roth

40. “People use drugs, legal and illegal, because their lives are intolerably painful or dull. They hate their work and find no rest in their leisure. They are estranged from their families and their neighbors. It should tell us something that in healthy societies, drug use is celebrative, convivial, and occasional, whereas, among us, it is lonely, shameful, and addictive. We need drugs, apparently, because we have lost each other.” — Wendell Berry 

Codependency quotes that make you think

Here are some thoughtful quotes about codependency. 

41. “No more martyring myself.” ― Sharon E. Rainey

42. “Don’t be a victim of your thoughts.” ― Darlene Lancer 

43. “Self-care is how you take your power back.” ― Lalah Delia

44. “Healing begins with awareness, understanding, and action.” ― Diane Metcalf

45. “Lighten up on yourself. No one is perfect. Gently accept your humanness.” ― Deborah Day

46. “Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it.” ― David Levithan

47. “The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” ― Ernest Hemingway

48. “Ever since people first existed, they have been doing all the things we label “codependent.” They have worried themselves sick about other people.”  — Melody Beattie

49. “Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” ― Anna Taylor

50. “Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Dysfunctional families and codependency

A dysfunctional family structure can lead to an array of codependent behavior. 

A dysfunctional family is a household where feelings of shame, fear, anger, or fear are ignored, as dysfunctional families do not acknowledge specific problems. 

Such avoidance causes other family members to repress their emotions which can be unhealthy.  

Avoiding discussing or finding solutions for underlying problems can cause trauma and make people feel detached or emotionally disturbed. 

Again, this is a nuanced subject because a person with a genuine desire to help another may end up in a codependent relationship. 

For some people, this is difficult to come to grips with, leading to avoiding the topic or fear of addressing it. 

People in these households may be unable to confront, feel, trust or connect with others.

When codependents place the well-being of others over their own, they can lose contact with their sense of self, needs, and desires. 

Please, be sure to tell us your favorite codependency quotes and sayings below in the comment section.