Relationships are a very tricky thing.
As part of human nature, we are curious about discovering new things, especially if the heart is involved.
The excitement of a new relationship makes the hours when you’re apart longer and the time that you’re together fly by.
It’s magical and something that can’t be explained to anyone that’s not directly involved.
If you can remember the first time you met the person you are with now, you can probably recall the excitement of the date, the intrigue of not knowing how the night would end, or learning new things about the person that you are with.
If you just started a relationship with someone special, you know what I’m talking about immediately.
Regardless, there is NO reason that excitement can’t be as fresh and intriguing as the day you met your significant other.
Life is all about the relationships we make.
A romantic relationship has the power to bring magic back into our lives and fuel the fire that we need to topple the grandest of mountains.
Sometimes, the connection is so strong that it becomes almost painful to be a part of this person; they seem to always be on our minds, and it feels as if life is unlivable without them.
Relationships are tricky, but they don’t have to.
In a world where it seems like more relationships end than strive, it’s important to point out that everything in life evolves on some level, especially a relationship.
I’ve been with my wife for about 16 years and have built a family of 3 kids and 3 dogs with her.
I can safely say that it is as awesome today as it was the day that we first met.
Now, this isn’t without its stumbles.
Everything is a work in progress, and if you can remember what brought you together in the first place, you’ll be able to go forward together.
Here are 5 things I’ve learned along the way that not only do I apply in my daily life but I also suggest to all of my clients that seek similar advice.
Also, check out our collection of happy anniversary quotes for that special someone.
How To Keep a Relationship Amazing
1. Never Assume
To assume that the other person knows what you’re thinking or what you want them to do is folly and pretty dumb.
Even after 15 years or 5 months, a person will NEVER truly know everything about you.
Assuming is a form of miscommunication and usually ends up in an argument of some sort, and one or both parties getting defensive in their share of the relationship.
It’s not to say that we can’t grow to understand the person we are with, but there will always be parts of the other person that will remain exclusive to them.
This is why communication is important, much like at the very beginning of the relationship.
Communication is key to all relationships in life, whether they are of a romantic inclination or any other.
By assuming, we are placing indirect pressure on ourselves and the other person.
We assume that they are thinking about one thing or going to do something without asking them.
Without communication, an assumption is a deal breaker that can and will usually blow up in our faces.
2. Expectation Is a Deal Breaker
The expectation is another big one.
When we expect, not only are we putting pressure on the expectation itself, but we’re putting pressure on the person to perform the expectation.
If your significant other always comes in with flowers on Friday afternoons, don’t expect them to do this all the time.
In fact, appreciate it and don’t take for granted.
For the most part, appreciation for an act goes a long way.
However, as humans, we tend to get used to stuff, inadvertently expecting these things to continue.
Depending on the person, they will come through with the expectation OR simply not do it out of spite or perhaps another reason altogether.
The person expecting begins to harbor resentment on an unconscious level once the expectation fails to appear.
Ultimately, this resentment builds up and comes out in various forms.
Thus, ruining the relationship!
Never expect and appreciate things as they come; it’s how to keep a relationship exciting.
3. The Game Is Never Over
We would like to think that when we are finally in a relationship, the games we played at the beginning are over.
But they’re not!
Many people become comfortable and let themselves go – not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.
The trick here is to keep the game going, keep the mysteries and excitement going.
Surprise and curiosity always intrigue humans on a level that brings us back into a playful and not-so-stressed-out existence.
This is how to keep a relationship fresh and exciting.
There is always something new to learn.
It’s important to understand that we are born playing games, and unconsciously, we enjoy them.
Adulthood has a nasty way of taking these games away from us.
But nothing keeps us as interested in something as participating in a game.
A relationship is a game, and a very good one at that.
I mean, once we stop playing, what are we doing?
Games keep us playful, engaged, and interested.
4. Being Wrong Is Good
BUILD A BRIDGE because being WRONG is GOOD.
Nothing is worse than being right all the time or thinking that you are right all the time.
First off, it’s boring.
Secondly, our imperfections are what makes us perfect.
This is part of life.
When we come together, we have to build a bridge from one person to another.
We are in the process of fusing likes and dislikes, experiences, emotions, and everything else that happens when we meet someone.
For the most part, we meet in the middle and begin to learn from one another.
A special type of growth occurs there, which makes being with someone else fun and exciting.
This is how to keep a relationship in its most practical form.
Don’t try to change what is unchangeable.
But rather, build from there and help each other grow.
If you wanted to be alone, you would have stayed alone.
Embrace what you are building together by meeting in the middle.
Learn to be wrong together and accept what was there from the beginning by growing together in all ways.
5. Follow Your Heart
Last but not least, FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
In all relationships and all walks of life, there are pre-disposed paths that are laid out before us.
A relationship is organic.
To think that it is supposed to go or be a certain way is yet another BIG misunderstanding that we must face in order to move forward.
There are plenty of pretty pictures that serve as frameworks or models to follow in our lives.
However, those models like the one that depicts the perfect couple in a house, with a white picket fence with a kid and a dog, are just an idea.
That model may have worked for some, but it’s impossible to say it’ll work for you.
Build your road going forward based on your interests and the interests of the person you are with.
This makes for a happier and unique experience.
There is no handbook on how to live life and none on how to handle a relationship properly.
You have to FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
Your heart brought you to the relationship in the first place and will guide you through it moving forward.
This is essential because, without it, you’ll be lost.
Remember your purpose and don’t lose it within the relationship; your partner will thank you for it in the long run.
Your fire will fuel your partner’s, and it’s important to keep each other inspired.
This is how to keep a relationship awesome.
Life is a curious and beautiful thing.
Sharing this experience with someone else makes it that much more special.
I hope this helps and ‘till next time.
Professor Robert J. Escandon MA. C.Ht.
Work: The Sword, the Armor and the Shield: A book that explores the male archetype.
Out now on Amazon.