Love Yourself First and More Love Will Follow
December 15, 2021 7:50 AM EST | 5 min read
Loving yourself and the people around you has always been the topic of poets and philosophers.
Throughout history, this emotion has been portrayed as something people give or get, and not as something we create.
You may be inclined to study the people you know who have love in their life and how you don’t.
We see close friends laughing, lovers holding hands, mothers holding their babies, and we automatically direct our attention to what we believe we don’t have.
Consider, even if it is for a moment, looking at it from a different perspective.
The love you witness in others is actually a reflection of the love they have inside themselves.
It shines through and can be visible in the way they respond to others.
The Science Behind Loving Yourself and Others
Many beliefs we have about love are being dispelled by modern science.
For example, some people associate love with luck.
For instance, if you feel you have met your perfect match, you might feel kind of lucky.
What does science have to say about falling in love?
Is it really a matter of luck?
It turns out love isn’t dependent on who you meet, what you do, or your circumstances.
You don’t have to be in the right place at the right time.
It doesn’t have a beginning, middle, or even an end.
This means someone who has made some serious mistakes in their life has just as much of a chance at love as anyone else.
This may not sit well with some people, as we have been conditioned to view love as if it is something to be earned or taken away.
It doesn’t work that way.
It is our expectations and assumptions which give the impression of love being scarce.
Love yourself first
Here is the thing about love, there are no have or have not’s.
It just is.
This is because love is a high vibrational energy.
Emotions are defined as energy in motion.
It turns out the less motion the energy has, the more negative the feeling.
Take guilt, for example.
It makes you feel kind of bad and stuck inside because it is energy that is heavy and congested.
When you experience love, you tend to feel lighter, happier, and free.
The energy of love is exactly that, light, open, with lots of energy in motion.
When someone lets go of guilt, this means they are releasing the energy (giving it more movement) so that it may transform into something else.
By letting go of guilt (or a similar emotion) you are freeing up energy to love yourself with.
You have a choice
Albert Einstein taught us that energy cannot be destroyed, but it can be transformed into something new.
This means you can take the emotion of fear and transform it into courage, and you can take the emotion of hurt and transform it into love.
Where many people get hung up in the process is in their willingness to choose love.
This may be because somewhere deep inside, they may have a hidden belief they are not worthy of experiencing it.
This happens typically on an unconscious level, where someone may actually punish themselves by withholding love.
The good news is you can push love away all you want, but it will never leave.
This is because love is timeless, formless, and infinite.
Just because you can’t see or touch it doesn’t mean it is not there.
Looking at loving yourself in a new light
You may have heard the old saying you have to learn to love yourself before you can truly love another.
Perhaps it is time for a bit of a mind shift in this area as well.
Rather than trying to figure out how to love yourself all at once, put your attention into doing things that bring you joy.
Do you like to watch the sunrise or sunset?
The beauty of either event might take your breath away, getting you to pause and take in (receive) the moment.
You are glimpsing something greater which can connect you to all that is.
It will also help you recognize things that make you happy.
Being more connected to your own emotions, especially happiness, will change the way you respond and interact with others.
This will help other people see you in a new light as well.
Through awareness and a willingness to choose love, you can command this vibration.
One way to do this is through the practice of increasing and receiving energy.
Otherwise, you may pursue a path of depleting energy.
You have a couple of choices.
You can connect to the love you already have in another way or put it on hold.
Everyone is worthy
People put their love on hold in several ways.
They wait to give themselves permission to experience it.
They might tell themselves once they get enough money, good grades, or accomplishments, they will have earned their right to feel love.
Perhaps they believe they need to look a certain way in order to be loved.
Love isn’t a reward, given to some and not to others.
It just is.
Increasing your connection to love requires presence, awareness and a willingness to see things in a new way.
Love never disappeared, nor did it pull away.
We pulled away.
We built walls, limits, and conditions that shouldn’t apply.
Love is here now, at this exact moment.
Allow it to touch you.
A soft mindful breath, smile, hug or kind gesture will bring the experience closer.
All you have to do is believe.