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50 Family Guy Quotes That Push Comedic Boundaries

Have a laugh while you check out these 50 Family Guy quotes that remind us of the importance of pushing boundaries.

Cancel culture blatantly challenges statements or actions deemed offensive and inappropriate. Family Guy debuted in 1999 and has not stopped making over-the-top comedy their trademark.

In spite of increased awareness and inclusion practices, Family Guy remains relevant as a series with a huge following of fans who span across the entire globe. So what is it about the series that keeps people glued to their screens? Well, perhaps it is their willingness to cross lines.

The show’s creator Seth Macfarlane, says its “an oasis for people who aren’t really onboard with being told what to laugh at and what not to laugh at.” At the end of the day, it is a comedy series, and comedy is designed to push boundaries of thought and reflection using humor.

family guy quotes

Family Guy Quotes from Peter

1. “Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, its probably crap.”

2. “When you poop in your dreams, you poop for real.”

3. “I’ve got an idea. An idea so smart that my head would explode, if I even began to know what I’m talking about.”

4. “Brian, there’s a message in my alphabet [cereal]. It says oooooo. Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

5. “Lois, men aren’t fat. Only fat women are fat.”- Peter

6. “I had such a crush on her… until I met you, Lois. You’re my silver medal.”

7. “You know that Chuck Norris is so tough, that there is no chin behind his beard, it’s only another fist.”

8. “Meg, who let you back in the house?”

9. “What? Gosh, it’s not like the internet to go crazy about something small and stupid.”

10. “Well, you guys, we did it. We finally went to a restaurant without somebody yelling at us, and the rest of the place applauding them.”

More Family Guy Quotes from Peter

11. “I guess we’ve learned that no matter who you are or where you come from, life is a terrible thing.”

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12. “Oh jeez. This hangover is killing me. I haven’t felt this crappy since the time I went to that museum.”

13. “I can be just as non-competitive as anybody. Matter of fact, I’m the most non-competitive. So I win.”

14. “I got drunk and then got my picture taken. So that way when I get pulled over for drunk driving, I look the same as on my license.”

15. “Why did all the dinosaurs all die out? Because you touch yourself at night?

16. “Why do women have boobs? So you can have something to look at when your talking to them.”

17. “Well I just can’t understand any of this, everyone in Japan is either a ten year old girl or a monster.”

18. “Awful lot of honkies in here.”

19. “Boy, fat sex is the best sex we’ve ever had! Last night there were so many boobs I didn’t know who’s boobs I was grabbin’.”

20. “Chris, this is a big day for you. Today you become the man of the house, because when we get home, your mother is going to kill me.”

21. “I wish I was Beyonce.”

Family Guy Quotes from Lois

22. “I think I’m pregnant. Peter: Oh, are you sure it’s yours?

23. Lois: “You’re drunk again!”

Peter: No, I’m just exhausted ’cause I’ve been up all night drinking.

24. “Sweetie, it’s broccoli, it’s good for you. Now open up for the airplane.”

Family Guy Quotes from Quagmire

25. “How come you Eastern European guys can’t be quieter in pornos? I mean, nobody has ever been like, ‘yeah, yeah, more guy noises!’”-Quagmire

Family Guy Quotes from Meg

26. “Did I freakin’ stutter? I said, MORE SKITTLES!”

27. Meg: Mom, I can’t clean—I got stuff to do!

Lois: Sweetheart, we all know you don’t have any stuff to do.

Family Guy Quotes from Stewie

28. “How does it feel to be the least cultured person at a bus station?” —Stewie

29. “Never! Damn the broccoli! Damn you! And damn the Wright Brothers!”- Stewie

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30. “You know, Mother, life is like a box of chocolates: You never know what you’re going to get. Your life, however, is more like a box of active grenades!” —Stewie

31. “When the world is mine, your death should be quick and painless.” —Stewie

32. “My God, it’s finally happened. He’s become so massive he’s collapsed into himself like a neutron star.” – Stewie

33. “You’re the worst thing to happen to musical theater since Andrew Lloyd Webber.” -Stewie

More Family Guy Quotes

34. Police: You guys watch the main cabin, I will find them. I’ll take that fat guy as a human shield. Peter: Oh, nice, last guy picked for dodgeball, first guy for human shield.”

35. Peter: Okay, don’t panic. We’ll just do what people did before the internet. We can play charades.

Chris: Oh, you mean like your marriage?

Peter: Chris, I told you that in confidence.

36. Brian: Seriously, who buys a novelty fire extinguisher?

Peter: I’ll tell you who: someone who cares enough about physical comedy to put his entire family into serious danger, that’s who.

37. Home Supply Employee: Can I help you?

Peter: Yeah, I hate my neighbor and I want to build something crazy out of spite.

Home Supply Employee: Well, I’ll take you to our one-up-man-ship aisle.

38. Chris: Now you just take that beautiful hair down to the salon, and you’ll be a ten.

Stewie: On a scale of a billion?

39. Peter: How can I be a DJ? I’m just a guy with a laptop and an inflated self-image.

Quagmire: Trust me, you’re perfect!

40. Brian: Hey Stewie, how do ya not know about trick-or-treating?!

Stewie: How do YOU not know that your reflection on your mirror is not another dog? 

41. Lois: Why should I get my tubes tied? You should get a vasectomy!

Peter: “First, I don’t know what that is. And two, no freakin’ way.

42. Peter: I hope you’re not pregnant, we can’t afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewie, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley…

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Brian: Peter those aren’t your kids. That’s the Nick-At-Night lineup.”

Peter: …Blanka, Zangief, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda…

Brian: That’s Street Fighters!

Peter: …red, blue, green…

Brian: Those are colors! 

43. Lois: You’ve never even had a boyfriend more than a few weeks.

Meg: I have two, remember when I dated the Count?

Count: One nipple. Two nipples. Three nip- oh, hell no! I’m outta here!

Even More Family Guy Quotes From Peter

44. “If gays wanna get married and be miserable like the rest of us, I say we should let em.” – Peter

45. “Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.” – Peter

46. “Whatever kills me, makes me stronger.” – Peter

47. “I brought these gifts for you, they’re up my bum.” – Peter

48. “Let’s go drink until we can’t feel feelings anymore.” – Peter

49. “Oh boy, I feel just like Tim Allen. I build stuff and have a criminal record.” – Peter

50. “Remember how you wanted to get that new wedding engagement ring? Well I got a horse.” – Peter

Whether you love it or find it crude, Family Guy has created 369 episodes and spanned over two decades as a hit series. With a cast of voice performers that include Mila Kunis, Alex Borstein, and Seth Green the show that started with a cult following has grown into a worldwide phenomenon.

When Family Guy debuted in 1999, it was canceled after only two seasons. However, the popularity and success of its DVD sales prompted major networks to reintroduce the show resulting in its success.

People identify strongly with the characters on the show, and people enjoy the wacky hijinks. Whether you realize it or not, the jokes remain the topic of popular memes and people at work who enjoy delivering witty one-liners.

Next time somebody at work makes a joke you do not get or understand the context behind, chances are they are quoting something from Family Guy.

Stephanie Kirby
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