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House MD Quotes for Medical Drama Fans

If you loved the show, you can’t help but like these House MD quotes. Share your favorite episode in the comments.

House MD is one of the most popular medical dramas that dominated TV shows and was a must-watch for fans of medical drama series today.

It follows the story of Dr. Gregory House, an unconventional medical genius who leads the Department of Diagnostic in Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in New Jersey.

House has a general hatred and contempt for human nature, leading him to struggle to connect to people. He often clashes with fellow doctors and his team due to his attitude and unconventional thinking.

Often he lacks compassion in front of his patients but regardless of this, House is a renowned physician and is highly valued for his medical skills and unique insights.

These House MD quotes will make you want to rewatch this series over again.

Don’t forget to also check out these Grey’s Anatomy quotes on happiness, success and empowerment.

House MD quotes from Dr. Gregory House

1. “You took a chance, you did something great. You were wrong, but it was still great. You should feel great that it was great. You should feel like crap that it was wrong.” — Dr. Gregory House

2. “It’s normal to be screwed up, but it’s really screwed up to romanticize it.” — Dr. Gregory House

3. “Love and happiness are nothing but distractions.” — Dr. Gregory House

4. “There’s no ‘I’ in team. There’s a ‘me’ though, if you jumble it up.” — Dr. Gregory House

5. “You talk to God, you’re religious; God talks to you, you’re psychotic.” — Dr. Gregory House

6. “It’s a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what.” — Dr. Gregory House

7. “I take risks, sometimes patients die. But not taking risks causes more patients to die, so I guess my biggest problem is I’ve been cursed with the ability to do the math.” — Dr. Gregory House

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8. “Lies are like children: they’re hard work, but it’s worth it because the future depends on them.” — Dr. Gregory House

9. “If you wanted fair, you chose the wrong job, the wrong profession, the wrong species.” — Dr. Gregory House

10. “Perseverance does not equal worthiness.” — Dr. Gregory House

11. “If you can fake sincerity, you can fake pretty much anything.” — Dr. Gregory House

12. “The most successful marriages are based on lies.” — Dr. Gregory House

13. “I need thirty-six Vicodin and change for a dollar.” — Dr. Gregory House

14. “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?” — Dr. Gregory House

15. “Yeah, probably got restless and shifted one hemisphere of his brain to a more comfortable position.” — Dr. Gregory House

16. “There are three choices in this life: be good, get good, or give up.” — Dr. Gregory House

17. “If nobody hates you, you’re doing something wrong.” — Dr. Gregory House

18. “Either God doesn’t exist or he’s unimaginably cruel.” — Dr. Gregory House

19. “We formulate our questions based on the answers we want to hear.” — Dr. Gregory House

20. “I’m sorry. I’m about to lose you because I’m about to drive into a tunnel in a canyon on an airplane while hanging up the phone.” — Dr. Gregory House

21. “Figuring out who people are takes time. And it takes twice as much time if they’re trying to impress you.” — Dr. Gregory House

22. “People don’t get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There’s nothing any of us can do about it.” — Dr. Gregory House

House MD quotes from Dr. Wilson

23. “Our entire relationship is about you. My dying is about me!” — Dr. Wilson

24. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t familiar with hooker protocol.” — Dr. Wilson

25. “This is one of the symptoms of working for House. You start seeing zebras everywhere.” — Dr. Wilson

26. “Somehow in your knee-jerk, juvenile way, you tripped and fell into an actual adult response to this.” — Dr. Wilson

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House MD quotes from Dr. Eric Foreman

27. “It’s dangerous. It could kill him. You should do it.” — Dr. Eric Foreman

28. “ I took this job to work with you, not cover your ass.” — Dr. Eric Foreman

29. “House is back in charge. We get to treat a porn star.” — Dr. Eric Foreman

30. “House was an egotistical pill-popping lawsuit magnet… and a genius.” — Dr. Eric Foreman

31. “He claims he can swear off sex indefinitely. Also claims that I am a boiling cauldron of repressed rage.” — Dr. Eric Foreman

32. “She’s brilliant, but new to the real world.” — Dr. Eric Foreman

House MD quotes from Dr. Robert Chase

33. “It’s time to step out of the shadow.” — Dr. Robert Chase

34. “Cheerleaders are the best part of basketball. Without them, you just have…basketball.” — Dr. Robert Chase

35. “Getting knifed doesn’t get me an extension?” — Dr. Robert Chase

36. “I think when you do change, it’s not so simple to go back.” — Dr. Robert Chase

37. “I liked him better when he was on Vicodin.” — Dr. Robert Chase

38. “I’m gonna pretend there’s something interesting over here, so you’ll shut up.” — Dr. Robert Chase

39. “ Office romances are a bad idea. We beat some very long odds.” — Dr. Robert Chase

House MD quotes from Dr. Lisa Cuddy

40. “You don’t take vicodin because you’re scared. You take it so you won’t feel pain. Everything you’ve ever done is to avoid pain: drugs, sarcasm, keep me and everybody at arm’s length so no one can hurt you.” — Dr. Lisa Cuddy

41. “I can’t fix his problem. I am his problem.” — Dr. Lisa Cuddy

42. “Pain happens when you care. You can’t love someone without making yourself open to their problems, their fears. And you’re not willing to do that.” — Dr. Lisa Cuddy

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43. “I want you to care about more than just what you want. What you think. You need me, House. And you may even love me. But you don’t care about me. And I deserve someone who does.” — Dr. Lisa Cuddy

44. “What is that smell? Is it onions? Peppers? Oh, I know… it’s a sausagefest.” — Dr. Lisa Cuddy

45. “Well, as your girlfriend, I’m impressed. As your boss, you’re a jackass.” — Dr. Lisa Cuddy

46. “I don’t want you to change. I know you’re screwed up. I know you are always gonna be screwed up. But you’re the most incredible man I’ve ever known. You are always gonna be… the most incredible man I have ever known.” — Dr. Lisa Cuddy

47. “I don’t care how interesting it is. You are not infecting him with malaria.” — Dr. Lisa Cuddy

House MD quotes from Dr. Cameron

48. “You know how House feels about people touching his ball.” — Dr. Cameron

49. “So, a woman can’t express her interest in sex without it being some professional power play?” — Dr. Cameron

50. “House doesn’t believe in pretense. Figures life’s too short and too painful. So he just says what he thinks.” — Dr. Cameron

Which of these House MD quotes is your favorite?

Behind the facade of medical greatness and arrogance. House is a complicated person. He is addicted to pain medications and has a major problem expressing himself to others. Over time it became his default to shut people out of his life, leading him to live a miserable life.

His innate distrust with people allows House to believe by default that the patient is always lying. And there’s much more to see about the patients’ history concerning their symptoms and condition. This portrays that his misery is a key factor in his medical success and identity, reminding us how complex humans can become.

Share these House MD quotes and sayings with your friends and start rewatching these amazing series.

Stephanie Kirby
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