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Santa Clarita Diet Quotes to Keep You Laughing

These Santa Clarita Diet quotes are perfect for your afternoon chill time.

Santa Clarita Diet is an American horror-comedy series that fans found brought them tons of laughter and was worth their time watching.

In this time of media where zombie virus and apocalyptic movies are flooding the mainstream, having these movie parodies and dramas is something that brings balance to the industry.

Santa Clarita Diet is about the story of a normal family whose lives drastically change when the mother of the house, Shiela, shows signs and symptoms of becoming a zombie.

Santa Clarita Diet Quotes to Keep You Laughing

The shocked family struggles to find a cure for her unbecoming condition while dealing with its consequences. Enjoy these Santa Clarita Diet quotes!

Don’t forget to also check out these White Lines quotes from the British-Spanish series.

Santa Clarita Diet quotes from Joel

1. “When you love someone, that doesn’t matter. Because it’s not about what you give up, it’s about what you get.” — Joel

2. “Well, we can’t start killing people. We’re getting life back to normal. And killing people isn’t normal, sweetheart.” — Joel

3. “I realize it’s not their fault, but f***ing Serbia! Other than tennis players, has anything good come out of that country?” — Joel

4. “I lost you once. That was enough.” — Joel

5. “I found pictures of a few women, but they were taken from inside a toilet, so probably not serious relationships.” — Joel

6. “I always wonder if it’s better to bury two bodies in one place or spread them around. I’m sure there’s a right answer, but I never want to meet the person who knows it.” — Joel

7. “Here’s a solution. Let’s all stop talking until I can think of what to say next.” — Joel

8. “Why does everyone want to find meaning in their lives? Whatever happened to just getting through the f***ing day?” — Joel

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9. “We can be firm. Remember that time she wanted a guinea pig and we said no, and then we got it for her? Let’s just do the first half of that.” — Joel

10. “Teenagers. They even make the apocalypse about them.” — Joel

11. “Someday, if you have kids, and you get a virus and start killing people, you’ll appreciate how well your mother and I are doing.” — Joel

12. “So there’s not a cure, and the partial cure might not even work because we’re too late, and Sheila’s not a rat. But the good news is I get to make an elderly woman throw up in a bucket, which might be a turn-on for some people, but it’s not my thing. Yet! Who knows? The night is young!” — Joel

13. “one.” — Joel

14. “No more doing things separately. From now on, we f*** everything up together.” — Joel

15. “I can’t do the worst things.” — Joel

16. “I just stuffed a man in a meat freezer. Cross that off my bucket list.” — Joel

17. “Just because something’s changed doesn’t mean it’s not still beautiful.” — Joel

18. “A lack of clarity is unforgivable.” — Joel

Santa Clarita Diet quotes from Sheila

19. “You’re the best husband an undead wife could ever ask for.” — Sheila

20. “You see? I’ve known you, what, five minutes and already I’d rather have you kill me.” — Sheila

21. “See? You were wondering if we were bad people. But only good people would do a favor for the severed head of their victim.” — Sheila

22. “I just threw up. Like a fair amount.” — Sheila

23. “The undead can’t eat the undead. They’re too… dead.” — Sheila

24. “New lesson: if at first you don’t succeed, then blast his ass with tear gas.” — Sheila

25. “Mistakes are just opportunities to learn how to do the right thing.” — Sheila

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26. “It’s just really disappointing. Even dead men and women can’t be friends.” — Sheila

27. “If you miss eating pizza, eat a man who just ate pizza.” — Sheila

28. “If we also stereotype people by assuming Nazis are always available, are we that much better than them?” — Sheila

29. “I’m sorry I was so insistent on killing Boone. You know, being selfless doesn’t come easy to the undead.” — Sheila

30. “I wish she could go to therapy, but there’s so much she can’t talk about. It isn’t fair. Where do murderers go for help?” — Sheila

31. “I think being separated from your penis has made you a better man.” — Sheila

32. “I know we have to kill somebody today but we have to be parents every day.” — Sheila

33. “I am so glad this is not one of those diseases that dries your skin out.” — Sheila

34. “Here’s the deal with life. No matter how much we want to control it, we can’t always know where it’s going to take us.” — Sheila

35. “Great. Let’s go save her life so that she can die naturally one day in a tanning bed accident.” — Sheila

36. “God, there’s so many ways to mess up your children.” — Sheila

37. “Everyone is afraid of change, but when life is screaming, ‘This is your new truth,’ you need to accept it. Be bold, be brave, and live your new truth, no matter what it is.” — Sheila

38. “By dying, we get to be the people we’ve always wanted to be. I like who I am now.” — Sheila

Santa Clarita Diet quotes from Abby

39. “You know what’s cool? I’m never surprised anymore.” — Abby

40. “Well, just run down to the market and… kill somebody.” — Abby

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41. “People can be more than one thing. Abraham Lincoln invented the pancake.” — Abby

42. “Don’t be an a**hole. Rise above your man bun.” — Abby

43. “I just wanted your vomit. Why’d you have to make it weird?” — Abby

Santa Clarita Diet quotes from Eric

44. “When you bottle up your feelings, they come out in other ways.” — Eric

45. “There’s a million things I’ve had done to me. But I did all of them myself. Actually, it’s just one thing a million times.” — Eric

46. “Luckily, my mom forced me to go to acting camp when I was eight, and then I went back electively for five more years.” — Eric

47. “It’s only money. And everyone with money says money is not important.” — Eric

48. “If life has taught me anything, it’s that human emotion is all about fairness.” — Eric

49. “I spend most of my life being afraid. Now I’m not. As much.” — Eric

50. “I know. I think I just got caught up with the idea of being that guy who’s had sex more than once.” — Eric

Which of these Santa Clarita Diet quotes is your favorite?

This series features a single-camera production that adds tons of atmospheric appeal to the audience and will hook you for more episodes.

As the story unfolds, the family will have to deal with Sheila’s new diet, human flesh, while trying to live their norms as a happy and loving family.

If you are looking for a light and no-brainer show that will bring a few laughs, then you should try watching this with family or friends. The odd combination of zombie and comedy unexpectedly works well in this series.

Share these Santa Clarita Diet quotes and sayings with your friends and invite them to a movie marathon to ease your stress.

Stephanie Kirby
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