Valentine’s Day is Terrible: Here’s Why
February 6, 2023 9:00 AM EST | 8 min read
Do you feel like you are the only one who thinks Valentine’s Day is terrible?
The truth is, Valentine’s Day it’s wonderful—until it’s not.
Some think the holiday is full of:
Many other people think Valentine’s Day is terrible for various reasons we will dive into.
First, let’s take a look at the history of Valentine’s Day itself.
Historically, why do we celebrate Valentine’s Day?
A ton of pressure is placed on people to find love or be in a relationship, all in the name of St. Valentine.
And you’ll quickly find things aren’t that clear if you start digging into the holiday’s history.
There are multiple stories from the Catholic Church about which Saint Valentine the holiday originated.
And in the end, all three of them ended up martyred.
Then you have others who claim the holiday originated with the pagan festival known as Lupercalia.
During Lupercalia, people sacrificed animals and dipped their hides in the blood.
Then, men gently slapped women with the bloody fur to boost their fertility.
How we jumped from those stories to buying each other candy hearts with love messages on them seems like a big gap.
It highlights when you don’t have a Valentine
Not having a Valentine is the most obvious reason Valentine’s Day is terrible for many people.
It’s a holiday about having someone to love and love you in return.
It’s easy to feel left out if you don’t have that special someone at the moment.
At a basic human level, we all want to feel loved and as if we belong.
But it’s hurtful when a holiday leaves you feeling like you’re not loved and wallowing in loneliness.
While Valentine’s Day might not feel like a big deal to some, it can be a day you dread if you wish and hope to find that special someone.
Watching people on social media share their fun V-day plans and post pictures of their special Valentine with the history of how many happy years they have spent together may even leave you feeling sick.
It’s no wonder why you feel Valentine’s Day is terrible.
It puts pressure on relationships
It’s no secret that having a successful relationship is hard at times.
Adding in a holiday that comes with the expectation that things are going strong in every relationship can take it to a whole new level.
New couples feel pressured to define the status of the relationship.
They are left trying to determine how seriously to take the holiday.
For example, should you buy a gift and go on a fancy romantic dinner if you’ve only been dating for a few weeks?
Then other couples are going through serious struggles in their relationship.
If Valentine’s Day arrives as they try to sort through the mess and pick up the pieces, it can leave one or both partners feeling heartbroken.
A simple Hallmark holiday creates a lot of pressure for couples that isn’t necessary.
It puts pressure on the budget
Valentine’s Day not only pressures the relationship but can also put pressure on and strain your wallet.
It’s a holiday that comes with the expectation that money is going to be spent.
In fact, as of 2022, the holiday was a $23.9 billion industry.
The average person planned on spending $175.41 on their special someone.
This year, the average cost of a dozen roses alone in the United States is $80.16.
Add in the cost of a card, gift, and dinner, and it adds up fast.
With inflation already sky-high, many people are working harder than ever to pay for the essentials.
Having money for housing, food, and utilities has become a challenge for many.
But then Valentine’s Day rolls around, and they feel the need to spend money to show their significant other that they care for no other reason than the calendar telling them they need to.
Creates a comparison game leaving people thinking the grass may be greener
Valentine’s Day also sets us up for a pretty mean comparison game, which social media encourages.
As mentioned above, if you don’t have a significant other to celebrate the day with, your Instagram feed will still be full of all those happy couples sharing what a wonderful partner they have.
Or if you have a significant other who didn’t get you anything for Valentine’s Day, it can leave you feeling bad when you see all the things your friends’ partners got for them.
Valentine’s Day is terrible because it makes it way too easy to play the “grass is greener on the other side” relationship comparison game.
This game makes people feel they aren’t treated like they deserve.
They may start to think someone else would treat them better.
However, a lot of what happens on Valentine’s Day is fake.
Couples who cave to the pressure to buy presents, go on dates they usually don’t, and spend money they probably shouldn’t are part of setting an unhealthy standard.
Then society holds other people to this standard.
We see what others do or have done and get jealous.
We want what they have in their relationship.
This comparison creates problems and challenges in relationships instead of the warm, fuzzy feeling that Valentine’s Day is “supposed to” bring.
What you can do to make Valentine’s Day great
If you’ve been reading and nodding along in agreement, it’s time to take action to make this Valentine’s Day great.
Here are some simple tips to help you make the change.
Make plans to do something you enjoy if you don’t have a Valentine
If you’re spending the holiday alone, don’t let it get you down.
Instead, find something to do for the day that you love doing.
Doing this will give you something to look forward to instead of dreading the day.
You can even find others skipping out on the holiday and do something fun as a group.
Choose not to let a day on the calendar control your relationship
Talk to your significant other about your concern over the pressure the holiday creates.
Discuss what’s right for your relationship—just as it is—instead of trying to do what others are doing.
If you’re in a new relationship, don’t cave to the pressure of pushing your relationship forward in the moment.
Let your special someone know you care about them the way you are already doing.
If you’re in a strained relationship, ignore the holiday altogether.
Celebrate without spending an extra penny
If you have a special someone you want to celebrate with but don’t have the money, get creative.
Go to the card aisle at the store together, choose cards you like, and hand them over.
You can each read the card without having to buy them, then return them to the shelf and walk away.
Send a text, an email, or write a love letter for free.
Cook dinner and light the candles at home instead of going to a restaurant.
Stream a movie and make your favorite theater snacks.
There are endless ways to celebrate without spending a dime outside your regular spending.
Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be terrible for your finances.
Check out this article What Your Husband Really Wants for Valentine’s Day.
Don’t fall for the comparison trap, which is a major reason Valentine’s Day is awful
Remember that most people only show the best parts of their lives on social media.
They may look happy in the picture but may have been fighting up until that moment.
If you struggle not to compare your life to others, stay off social media for the week of Valentine’s Day.
Allow some time to pass so new pictures are up in your feed before logging back onto the platform.
Focus on appreciating the good things you have going on in your life or relationship instead of all the things you don’t have.
Don’t Make Valentine’s Day Terrible
These simple tips can help you switch Valentine’s Day from a terrible day to a good day or just another day.
In modern times, we associate Valentine’s day with love.
So, express your love for your partner or yourself.
Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be terrible.
What’s your favorite tip for avoiding the pain of Valentine’s Day?
Let us know in the comment section below.
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