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The Best Firefly Quotes From the Cowboys in Space Series

Firefly is one of the few shows that has an incredible fan base even though it only ever aired one season. Perhaps that’s because of just how quotable the dialog is? The show’s lines are so good, in fact, that we’ve created our own list of the best Firefly quotes from the series.

Joss Whedon is most known for being the creator of the cult-classic television show, Buffy The Vampire Slayer and its spinoff series, Angel. He is more recently recognized for his efforts in the cinematic comic book world as writer and director in both the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the DC Extended Universe. Less popular, but still beloved, Whedon is also the creator of the “Cowboys in Space” television series, Firefly.

Despite being well-received by fans and critics alike, Firefly was sadly canceled after just one season. Though the series never got to meet its full potential, the show lives on through these Firefly quotes.

Don’t forget to also check out these inspiring Interstellar quotes about love and humanity.

50 of the Best Firefly Quotes From the Cowboys in Space Series

Funny Firefly quotes and catchphrases

1. “Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that.” — Mal

2. Zoe: “First rule of battle, little one … don’t ever let them know where you are.”

Mal: “WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!”

Zoe: “‘Course, there’re other schools of thought.”

3. “Yes sir, Captain Tightpants!” — Kaylee

4. “Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!” — Wash

5. Simon: “Are you Alliance?”

Jubal Early: “Am I a lion?”

Simon: “What?”

Jubal Early: “I don’t think of myself as a lion. You might as well, though, I have a mighty roar.”

Simon: “I said ‘Alliance.'”

Jubal Early: “Oh, I thought … “

Simon: “No, I was … “

Jubal Early: “That’s weird.”

6. “Ten percent of nothin’ is … let me do the math here … nothin’ into nothin’ … carry the nothin’ … ” — Jayne

7. Badger: “‘Course you couldn’t buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple.”

Mal and Jayne: sniggering

Badger: ” … of invites!”

Best Firefly quotes from Mal

8. “Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle.” — Mal (to Jayne)

9. “Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ’em right back!” — Mal

10. “Well, maybe I’m not a fancy gentleman like you, with your … very fine hat. But I do business. We’re here for business.” — Mal

11. “Next time you want to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.” — Mal

12. “You’re welcome on my boat. God ain’t.” — Mal

13. “We’ve done the impossible, and that makes us mighty.” — Mal

14. “Did something just fly off my gorram ship?” — Mal

15. “We’re not gonna die. We can’t die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die.” — Mal

16. “Been a long time since Patience shot me and that was due to a perfectly legitimate conflict of interest. I got no grudge.” — Mal

17. Book: Captain, you mind if I say grace?

Mal: Only if you say it out loud.

18. “Well, we may not have parted on the best of terms. I realize certain words were exchanged. Also, certain… bullets.” — Mal

19. Mal: Well, you were right about this being a bad idea.

Zoë: Thanks for sayin’, sir.

20. “Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.” — Mal

21. “Like woman, I am a mystery.” — Mal

Favorite Firefly quotes from Wash

22. “Every man there go back inside or we will blow a new crater in this little moon.” — Wash

23. “Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower … somewhat less attractive now that she’s all corpsified and gross.” — Wash

24. “Terse? I can be terse. Once, in flight school, I was laconic.” — Wash

25. “Wash, we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss.” — Wash

26. “I’ve been under fire before. Well … I’ve been in a fire. Actually, I was fired. I can handle myself.” — Wash

27. “How did your brain even learn human speech?” — Wash

28. Mal: “Just get us on the ground!”

Wash: “That part will happen pretty definitely!”

29. “Man walks down the street in a hat like that, you know he’s not afraid of anything … ” — Wash

30. “Sweetie, we’re crooks. If everything were right, we’d be in jail.” — Wash

31. Zoë: We still gotta drop the goods.

Wash: And when we do, we fly off to Boros rich and prosperous. Well, less poor.

32. “Can we maybe vote on the whole murdering people issue?” — Wash

33. “Oh do I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not… married, not… madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinkie!” — Wash

Famous Firefly quotes and dialogues

34. Wash: “Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.”

Zoe: “We live in a spaceship, dear.”

35. Mal: “Mercy is the mark of a great man.”

Mal: “Guess I’m just a good man.”

Mal: “Well, I’m all right.”

36. “Let’s go be bad guys!” — Jayne

37. “I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.” — Mal

38. Tracey: “When you can’t run, you crawl. And when you can’t crawl, when you can’t do that …”

Zoe: “… You find someone to carry you.”

39. “Also? I can kill you with my brain.” — River

40. Mal: “If anyone gets nosy, just …you know … shoot ’em. “

Zoe: “Shoot ’em?”

Mal: “Politely.”

41. Jayne: Can you stop her from bein’ so cheerful?

Mal: I don’t believe there is a power in the verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful.

42. “I’ve been out of the abbey two days, I’ve beaten a lawman senseless, I’ve fallen in with criminals. I watched the captain shoot the man I swore to protect. And I’m not even sure if I think he was wrong.” — Book

More great Firefly quotes and one liners

43. “You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who’s in ruttin charge here.” — Jayne

44. “Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature.” — Jayne

45. “If they take the ship, they’ll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skin into their clothes … and if we’re very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.” — Zoe

46. Kaylee: “Going on a year now, nothins twixed my neathers not run on batteries.”

Mal: “I can’t know that.”

Jayne: “I can stand to hear a little more.”

47. “What were you in the war? That big war you failed to win? You were a sergeant, yeah? Sergeant Malcolm Reynolds … balls and bayonets brigade. Big, tough veteran. Now you got yourself a ship and you’re a captain. Only I think, you’re still a sergeant, see? Still a soldier. A man of honor in a den of thieves. Well, this is my gorramn den, and I don’t like the way you look down on me. I’m above you, better than! Businessman, see? Roots in the community. You’re just a scavenger.” — Badger

48. “I cannot abide useless people.” — Murphy

49. “Crime and politics, little girl: the situation is always… fluid.” — Badger

50. “The important thing is the spices. A man can live on packaged food from here ’til Judgment Day if he’s got enough rosemary.” — Book

Which Firefly character do you think is the most quotable?

Due to a series of unfortunate events, Firefly was never granted a perfect send-off into the television world. A classic western world set in a futuristic space society is a pretty interesting concept, but one that the executives at Fox never quite understood.

Because of this, the show received mismatched advertisements and was given the death slot – airing on Friday nights. The network even aired Firefly’s episodes out of order, confusing viewers. It’s no wonder that the show received low ratings, ultimately causing a quick end to the series.

Despite having only 11 out of 14 episodes air, Firefly gained itself a hugely passionate fan base. Luckily, this convinced Universal Pictures to produce a cinematic conclusion to the show. Serenity gave closure to Firefly’s loyal fan base, though we have been left wondering if we will ever receive more.

Did you enjoy these Firefly quotes and lines? Which quote is your favorite? Let us know in the comments below.

Sckylar Gibby-Brown
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