25 Half Baked Quotes for the Nostalgic Stoner

Fans of the stoner comedy released in 1998 will enjoy these Half Baked quotes.

The film follows the adventures of four friends who sell marijuana to bail out their incarcerated friend. 

While the movie was not originally intended as a source of life lessons, you will see that there are valuable insights that can be gained from Half Baked.

Tell us your favorite Half Baked quote in the comment section. 

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Why should you read these Half Baked quotes?

This marijuana-centric comedy features many well-known actors in hilarious roles, including:

  • Jim Breuer as Brian
  • Harland Williams as Kenny Davis
  • Guillermo Díaz as Scarface
  • Rachel True as Mary Jane Potman
  • Tommy Chong as Squirrel Master
  • Clarence Williams III as Samson Simpson

One of the most important lessons from the movie is to always take personal responsibility for your actions, which will ultimately get you a lot farther in life.  

Thurgood, the main character, has the best of intentions when he starts a business selling cannabis in order to help his friend that’s been imprisoned. 

He soon ropes several other friends into this business, and it becomes highly successful, despite being illegal.  

But, naturally, a series of unfortunate events ensue, and ultimately the four friends end up in police custody facing charges of robbery, among other things. 

However, they strike a deal with the police to bring down a drug kingpin in exchange for their release. 

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After escaping a prison sentence, Thurgood realizes he has been using marijuana to avoid dealing with his problems.

He decides to take responsibility for his actions and quits smoking weed.

Now able to take charge of his life, Thurgood becomes a better person and better equipped to deal with life’s inevitable issues.

This newfound clarity and purpose allow Thurgood to reunite with his dream woman.

He finally has everything he’s ever wanted. 

 The Half Baked storyline highlights the importance of taking personal responsibility for our actions and decisions, as it helps us to grow and improve as individuals.

Please enjoy these quotes from Half Baked

Half Baked quotes from Thurgood Jenkins

1. “You have smoked yourself retarded.” — Thurgood Jenkins

2. “Oh my goodness! Now that is a titty! That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout!” — Thurgood Jenkins

3. “Don’t get me wrong, I love weed. I LOVE IT! But not as much as I love p*ssy. The end.” — Thurgood Jenkins

4. “I, myself, am a master of the custodial arts. Or a janitor, if you wanna be a dick about it.” — Thurgood Jenkins

5. “You know, uh, I never thought I’d say this to anybody, but you two smoke entirely too much reefer.” — Thurgood Jenkins

Half Baked quotes from Brian

6. “You said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace!” — Brian

7. “For 400 dollars, I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man!” — Brian

8. “That’s all the more reason to toke up, man! It’ll ease the pain!” — Brian

9. “First of all, to understand what happened to Killer, you gotta understand who Killer the dog was.” — Brian

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10. “I’m not gonna do what everyone thinks I’m gonna do and… FLIP OUT man… all I wanna know is… who’s coming with me? Who’s coming, man?” — Brian

Half Baked quotes from Kenny

11. “I love Butterstuff.” — Kenny

12. “Ya hear that? I’m somebody’s b*tch!” — Kenny

13. “I didn’t know that horse was a diabetic!” — Kenny

14. “In eleven days, I’m as good as skewered!” — Kenny

15. “You guys gotta get me out of here! There’s this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish!” — Kenny

Half Baked quotes from Scarface

16. “I’m Cuban, b!” — Scarface

17. “Man, you didn’t say nothing ’bout no door, yo!” — Scarface

18. “I got it! Why don’t we sell that weed that we smoked earlier!” — Scarface

19. “Don’t worry, man. All we gotta do to get you out is to get ten percent of ten million dollars.” — Scarface

20. “I’m right behind you. Turn around and ask me for a heffer with cheese, yo. Why you gotta make me feel inferior cause I’m on the grill, B?” — Scarface

More Half Baked quotes

21. “I’m sexy… I’m a scholar… people like me.” — Thurgood

22. “I’m impotent, man! Get away from me, b*tch!” — Sir Smoke Alot

23. “I’m gonna take your little Mexican friend here, and I’m gonna kill him.” — Samson

24. “I didn’t say the alarm would be off, though. I just said it’s never locked.” — Thurgood

25. “So the next time I come for you, I’m gonna want some cocktail…FRUIT!” — Nasty Nate

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An unexpected cult classic

Despite its release to less-than-good critics’ reviews, Half Baked has become a fan favorite among several generations. 

It is now considered a cult classic, and many popular catchphrases from the movie are still alive in pop culture today.  

Half Baked was a grassroots success partly because the movie is a unique blend of stoner humor and social commentary, making it stand out from other comedies.

The movie also speaks to a generation of people who grew up in the 90s and share a love for stoner culture and countercultural humor.

Tell us your favorite Half Baked quote in the comment section below!

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