Since the film’s release in 2008, these Step Brothers quotes have been making us laugh so hard we’re falling off our dinosaurs.
The classic comedy, written by Adam McKay and Will Farrell, follows two immature adults (Will Farrell and John C. Reilly) who still live at home and are forced to live together when their parents get married. Initially hating each other, the pair become united over their shared similarities and eventually become best friends.
Just like another McKay/Farrell movie, Anchorman, the Step Brothers is a modern comedy cult classic. If you’re ready for a good laugh, check out these hilarious Step Brothers quotes below.
We also have a collection of Godfather movie quotes and these hilarious Talladega Nights quotes that will make you laugh and feel like a winner. Don’t forget to also check those out once you finish reading the quotes below.
Step Brothers quotes on knowing who you are
1.) “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.” — Dale Doback
2.) “I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I’m smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes, I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and… I just figure it out.” — Dale Doback
3.) “Gotta have my boats and hoes!” — Dale Doback
4.) “You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” — Dale Doback
Step Brothers quotes on friendship
5.) “You know what gets my dick hard? Helping out my friends.” — Derek
6.) “Did we just become best friends?” — Brennan Huff
7.) “Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” — Brennan Huff
8.) “You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.” — Brennan Huff
9.) “I’m not great at this Hallmark stuff, but Brennan, when I look at you now, I don’t want to kick you in the head quite as much.” — Derek
Also check out these Big Lebowski quotes that we can relate to.
Step Brothers quotes on making decisions
10.) “Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go!” — Dale Doback
11.) “On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it. Just name it. Ready? One, two, three.” — Dale Doback
Step Brothers quotes to motivate you
12.) “One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” — Dale Doback
13.) “Don’t lose your dinosaur.” — Robert Doback
14.) “Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” — Dale Doback
Step Brothers quotes for when you’re mad
15.) “Get out of my face, or I’m gonna roundhouse your ass.” — Brennan Huff
16.) “Your drumset is a whore! I tea bagged your drumset!” — Brennan Huff
17.) “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!” — Brennan Huff
Step Brothers quotes on priorities
18.) “Dad, what are you doing? It’s ‘Shark Week’!” — Dale Doback
19.) “I’m fucking miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.” — Dale Doback
20.) “Dad, we’re men. That means a few things – we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pussy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do, and now that is all wrecked.” — Dale Doback
Don’t forget to also check out these memorable Seinfeld quotes.
More Step Brothers quotes and lines
21. “Brennan, Denise called and she said she can’t spend New Year’s Eve with you because she’s not your girlfriend, she’s your therapist.” — Nancy
If you’re enjoying these quotes, you’ll love our collection of girlfriend quotes every guy should read.
22. “Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”– Dale
23. “Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” — Brennan
24. “Why are you so sweaty?” — Dale “I was watching cops.” — Brennan
25. “That’s so funny the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”— Dale
26. “Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?” — Brennan
27. “I’m going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!”— Brennan
28. “So many activities!”– Brennan
29. “This is going to sound weird, but for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.”— Dale
30. “What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?” — Brennan
Which of these Step Brothers quotes made you laugh the most?
After the success of Anchorman in 2004, fans were begging for more McKay/Farrell comedy magic, and they did not disappoint. In the eleven years since Step Brothers debuted, the film is still a staple in any comedy fan’s movie collection.
So, whether you have a stepbrother that you love to hate or hate to love, or if you’re just a fan of good comedy, we hope you laughed out loud at this collection of Step Brothers quotes.
October 30, 2020 6:00 AM EST